Joke | Page 232 | Vital Football

Joke

Saw my mate walking down the road with a fat bird this afternoon.

I asked him "Is she your girlfriend"?

Smiling he said "What gave it away"?

I replied "A zoo, by the looks of things"
 
How to sex an ant.
Drop the ant into a glass of water.
If it sinks it's a girl ant.
If it floats it's a buoyant.
 
I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back , way too expensive and really bad quality.
 
My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted...
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Oh well, better get back to it I suppose
 
Japan records its highest temperature Ever: Mercury hits 106F as deadly heat wave kills 40 people.
Nowhere near as hot as August 6, 1945


"To soon"?
 
JuanPabloAngel said:
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them.

I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... Do I keep the letters?
Click to expand...

Nah! Head for the airport as the coppers will be after you :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
My wife left me for another man. All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.

And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.
 
The UN has warned that if the killings & civil unrest continue in the Zimbabwean capital Harare, the place is in grave danger of descending into a lawless, ungovernable shithole like London.
 
The old lady next door just knocked my door, "Can you open a jar of pickles"? she asked "Of course i can" i replied,

"Great" she said " i've just bought some cheese".
 
Turns out that the chap I tipped is not the Gent's attendent and now I really just want to get this blowjob over with....
 
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