What do you do | Page 6 | Vital Football

What do you do

gator, I would take little notice of some replies, as they would act different if it was their daughter. Its always ok shouting out when its not effecting them directly. You may be old fashioned and stuff, so what? You are who you are and nobody can take that away from you. Fact is, you are also far from alone, so you are not disgraceful or abnormal etc. Of course you wanted grandchildren naturally from your daughter, I can relate to that because I do too. Holte is not right and you are not wrong...What would be wrong is you lying about how you feel. It takes a brave person to come out and say they gay, it also takes a brave person to face up to the feelings that they are struggling to accept it. Only thing is, nobody cares about the latter, they just class you as "old fashioned" and "disgraceful".
 
SKEGGY - 13/5/2013 19:37

Right Gator firstly you want grand kids. Pop with me on the school run and I'll show you a few same sex couples who have kids. I'm sure you never wanted a lesbian as a daughter, who would wish a life of persecution and small minded bigotry onto their kids? But she is the same person she was before she "came out" with all those loving traits and annoying habits! I'm sure you're not comfortable with outward display of affection between your girl and hers, I'm not particularly comfortable when one of my lads has his tongue lodged down their latest girlfriends mouth. Tell them you're her Dad and if it was her kissing a lad a girl or a Shetland pony you'd be uncomfortable, because you're her Dad.

Love her for the person she is mate not her sexuality
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Yeah spot on bud old habits and all that but I will have to change because i'm stubborn but she's worse.
 
Green Tea - 13/5/2013 23:23

gator, I would take little notice of some replies, as they would act different if it was their daughter. Its always ok shouting out when its not effecting them directly. You may be old fashioned and stuff, so what? You are who you are and nobody can take that away from you. Fact is, you are also far from alone, so you are not disgraceful or abnormal etc. Of course you wanted grandchildren naturally from your daughter, I can relate to that because I do too. Holte is not right and you are not wrong...What would be wrong is you lying about how you feel. It takes a brave person to come out and say they gay, it also takes a brave person to face up to the feelings that they are struggling to accept it. Only thing is, nobody cares about the latter, they just class you as "old fashioned" and "disgraceful".
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That my friend is the other side of the argument I can't help the way I feel for the simple reason of the era i was brought up in but views have changed so i suppose we have to find some common ground.
 
Green Tea - sorry mate, I have personal experience, I am not gay, I have been married for 25 yrs

However, I was persecuted in a previous job as the hierarchy "thought" I was gay. I took over in the Birmingham office from a gay guy, and all they knew was "the guy in Brum is gay". Six years I had to suffer abuse, being ostracised, not being "one of the lads", and it disappeared the day they found out I was getting married, tried to be my best mate then they all did.

I have many friends who are gay, I work with many lesbians (in fact, my three closest colleagues are). If one of my kids are gay (and I wouldn't be surprised to be honest), there will be no difference what-so-ever.

Sorry, I may be on my own here, but I cannot fathom the logic of anyone who would be upset. This is 2013.

Seriously, this is a football website, read this thread - and people wonder why footballers won't come out as gay !
 
Saurat - 13/5/2013 20:14

gator - 11/5/2013 22:38

I find this hard to talk about but i feel i have to because i'm going fucking mad.My daughter is living with us and moved her girfriend in (yes girlfriend)what the fuck do i do.I love her to bits but i wanted grand kids off her i'm gutted but do i put up with it or fuck her lover off which is what i want to do
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You want grand kids off her? You speak about your daughter as if she was a battery farm chicken, or brood mare. Do you love your daughter because of who she is, or because of what she can give you? I had a son quite late in life, by the time he has a kid of his own I will probably be dead. Too bad, but so long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Your attitude would have been regarded as obsolete even twenty-five years ago. However, moving her girlfriend in under your roof, that's a different story. Of course she should have asked your permission, and you are being perfectly reasonable in requesting her friend find other accommodation.
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I get what ya saying i really do but i would'nt have said 25 year ago i would have been a dynasaur I would have said the tides were turning but only just.
 
and, Gator , remember this, coming out to a parent is the hardest thing a kid can do (well probably second after being a teenage pregnancy). What your daughter needs is for you to say "What does it matter" - can you imagine how scared she was in telling you, all you are doing is proving she was correct to be scared.

I am glad to say, I have already had a conversation with my teenage kids, that no matter what happens, they should never be scared to tell me what it was, I am their dad, and I will support them. In fact, we joke to my daughter that we better get saving for her civil partnership to her best mate - it is normal life kid !

 
holtelower - 13/5/2013 23:14

Because there is no difference between being a racist and being homophobic in my (and the laws) eyes.
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That's just it though i'm not homophobic or racist I worked away an awful lot in my job and we had a few good nights in gay bars
 
But unfortunately Gator, thats what you are being. It's the

"I don't mind them but I don't want them next door" attitude.

So you would be OK if , lets say Suarats daughter was gay, as long as it's not your own.

Sorry dude, thats the truth of it.
 
Holte,

What we all have in common, is that we are all born and we all die. What happens in between is all a load of bollocks. We have the birds up in the trees and they look down on the human race and say "what the fuck are they doing" "do they seriously think they are the smartest on this planet".

All we have to do is eat, grow and breed. Right and wrong? Unless you believe in God, then its all man made bullshit! Who cares what year it is? The same applies, Born, eat, breed and die!

We send our kids to school from the age of 5 and they work right up till they are 65 years old, yet again all we need to do is Eat, breed and die. I swear those birds are laughing their asses off!

We have polluted the planet all in the name of eating, breeding and dying.
 
holtelower - 13/5/2013 23:40

and, Gator , remember this, coming out to a parent is the hardest thing a kid can do (well probably second after being a teenage pregnancy). What your daughter needs is for you to say "What does it matter" - can you imagine how scared she was in telling you, all you are doing is proving she was correct to be scared.

I am glad to say, I have already had a conversation with my teenage kids, that no matter what happens, they should never be scared to tell me what it was, I am their dad, and I will support them. In fact, we joke to my daughter that we better get saving for her civil partnership to her best mate - it is normal life kid !
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Oh yeah i know her mother knew long before i did but see i am probably from a different era to you and as they say old habits die hard but the abuse you suffered was from bullies one thing i have never liked
 
So on that note, gator has a completely natural feeling.

Do you realise the difficulty some species on this planet go through to breed?

Some animals will purposely and naturally select a strong mate to yield stronger offspring.

So I ask you; how important is breeding amongst all life on the planet? And would gator's feelings not be a natural response as a parent?

What has made a species accept homosexuality as something not to be upset about? When breeding plays such a huge part of EVERY species on this planet?

In fact what you could say is all those that get upset about homosexuality..It is a natural species response of the fittest.

And all those that champion it = it is a brainwashed response believed by the weaker of the species..

After all, life is just about being born, eating, growing, breeding and dying..
 
I see what youre saying GT, and agree in principle with what you say about the nature laughing at our stupid lifestyles.

To be fair though regarding sexuality in nature, I'd booked our dog in for the chop* because he would try and shag anything, boy dogs, girl dogs, trouser legs, young children, soft toys: you name it, he didnt give a shit. any offspring he may have fathered would have been pure fluke as opposed to him selecting a perfect mate!


*in the end I couldnt go through with it, and thankfully he seems to have grown out of it now.
 
Green Tea - 14/5/2013 00:07

And all those that champion it = it is a brainwashed response believed by the weaker of the species..
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Yes, because there is a clear shortage of humans breeding on the planet at the moment isn't there?!

All about genetics and the mix of hormones. All just nature takings its course.
 
I told my mom about my decision. She said 'you can't do that'

She just doesn't understand me, feel totally rejected. I must go get some counselling.
 
James06 - 14/5/2013 09:38

I see what youre saying GT, and agree in principle with what you say about the nature laughing at our stupid lifestyles.

To be fair though regarding sexuality in nature, I'd booked our dog in for the chop* because he would try and shag anything, boy dogs, girl dogs, trouser legs, young children, soft toys: you name it, he didnt give a shit. any offspring he may have fathered would have been pure fluke as opposed to him selecting a perfect mate!


*in the end I couldnt go through with it, and thankfully he seems to have grown out of it now.
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Again, this is man's tampering that has done this. A wild dog would naturally live in a pack. Hunt as a pack etc. The males would fight to gain the leader status in the pack, for the sole purpose of breeding.

Personally I see nothing wrong with gator's response when you look at our species as a whole. He wants grandchildren from his daughter, again a natural species response. Mankind is basically trying to suppress what we really are as a species and our natural behaviour/responses by brainwashing us. What humans have done to the domesticated dog is basically what we have done to each other. A real wild dog would be a smart animal with high senses for survival and breeding. Yet most of the domesticated dogs wouldnt stand a chance without help from us.

Just putting it out there for all those that think gator is wrong or old fashioned or homophobic etc. That when in fact he is just acting a normal way as a living species on this planet!
 
Kinda swerving off topic a bit. Surely main part is how Gator deals with it & how's the best way to show he is supporting his daughter.
 
Again, i see what you're saying GT, but we've moved on. Natural instinctive feelings from caveman times are no longer valid, thank goodness. If this means having to force ourselves in sime cases to suppress our instinctive feelings then so be it.

Otherwise we'd all be raping, robbing and killing each other and dying of any illness going.
 
Some of us have evolved slightly above a dog pack mentality though Green.

But don't worry, you'll get there one day my son.

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