Stupid stuff... | Page 4 | Vital Football

Stupid stuff...

Rob the Imp said:
Once used a chunky piece of wood to stabilise my stepladder so I could get onto the shed roof to make a repair. Little did I know, there was a nail sticking up from the wood. Inevitably I trod on it on my way back down and it went straight through my shoe and into my foot.
Click to expand...
Not so long back, I had a plumber working on my header tank in the loft. When he had done, I unplugged the lead for the light up there and went up the ladder to put it up there. Out of nowhere the ladder buckled in two and left me dangling from the loft hatch by my elbows.
A few things I was glad of -

1) At 50, and not particularly fit, my arms were stronger than I had imagined. My reflexes seemed like they were 30 years ago.
2) I line in a bungalow and the loft hatch wasn't at the top of some stairs!
3) It was me doing it and not him. As he didn't look as likely to have reacted as quickly as I did. Although, to his credit, he was quickly there to check I was OK.
 
plumbob said:
Not so long back, I had a plumber working on my header tank in the loft. When he had done, I unplugged the lead for the light up there and went up the ladder to put it up there. Out of nowhere the ladder buckled in two and left me dangling from the loft hatch by my elbows.
A few things I was glad of -

1) At 50, and not particularly fit, my arms were stronger than I had imagined. My reflexes seemed like they were 30 years ago.
2) I line in a bungalow and the loft hatch wasn't at the top of some stairs!
3) It was me doing it and not him. As he didn't look as likely to have reacted as quickly as I did. Although, to his credit, he was quickly there to check I was OK.
Click to expand...
Good thing he hadn't left! Glad it turned out ok. Bet that wasn't a fun experience.
 
Rob the Imp said:
Had to get it topped up! I haven't had much luck with this topic. As a kid I trod on a piece of wire sticking straight up out of the sand on a beach (?!) and also once got a long sliver of glass in the sole of my foot. I still remember having to remove the glass as it kept catching. *Shudder*
Click to expand...

What a terrible dilemma for Imp79/Swedishimp! Imagine the situation: they might need the vaccine but decline it. Then they get get lock-jaw and however ever desperate they become, they can't ask for it!
 
Going down harmston hill as a kid on my bike without having checked the efficacy of my brakes beforehand.

Ended up in a big patch of nettles off the road near the bend at the bottom.
 
NottyImp said:
Going down harmston hill as a kid on my bike without having checked the efficacy of my brakes beforehand.

Ended up in a big patch of nettles off the road near the bend at the bottom.
Click to expand...
I'd imagine a scary hill on a push-bike. I sometimes travel from my dad's to the game that way.
Caythorpe hill used to scare me shitless going down it as a kid.
 
Was on the Witham down Coulson Road as a kid watching someone fish. I wasn’t even on the grass, I was on the path and couldn’t get any further back as there was a wall. He casted and I ended up with the hook in my ear. My Nana took me to Lincoln County on the bus !

Posted a few bits of stupid stuff on this thread need to stop thinking about my life. Not posted the blue light taxi I had to Lincoln County when the wife was 20 weeks pregnant after two miscarriages and she didn’t know where I was or what had happened and was worried sick. A story for another day.
 
NottyImp said:
Going down harmston hill as a kid on my bike without having checked the efficacy of my brakes beforehand.

Ended up in a big patch of nettles off the road near the bend at the bottom.
Click to expand...
My brother did that on Waddington Hill, failing to negotiate the bend at the bottom, a few minor scratches.

My wife (to be) crashed into a wall at the bottom of a hill at uni, broken wrist.

I managed to ride straight into a (parked) motorbike in pissing rain on Newark Road in North Hykeham - straight and flat is not safe for an idiot on a bike! Bent my bike badly, knocked motorbike over but no other damage to it apart from one very pissed off owner. My problem was a mile from work at the end of my lunch break then 5 miles from home.

As a family, we now seem to avoid bikes.
 
Riding around Scothern as a youngster on my bicycle I decided to stop . Some on here may know that village is basically one main road, with the beck running alongside it. Said beck has a raised kerb on it. Unfortunately I failed to take into account that my little legs couldn't get onto said kerb whilst maintaining proper balance. Net result was me and bike into the beck.

Bicycles = danger
 
sedgleyimp said:
Riding around Scothern as a youngster on my bicycle I decided to stop . Some on here may know that village is basically one main road, with the beck running alongside it. Said beck has a raised kerb on it. Unfortunately I failed to take into account that my little legs couldn't get onto said kerb whilst maintaining proper balance. Net result was me and bike into the beck.

Bicycles = danger
Click to expand...
Avatar suggests duck to water....
 
Chesterimp said:
My brother did that on Waddington Hill, failing to negotiate the bend at the bottom, a few minor scratches.

My wife (to be) crashed into a wall at the bottom of a hill at uni, broken wrist.

I managed to ride straight into a (parked) motorbike in pissing rain on Newark Road in North Hykeham - straight and flat is not safe for an idiot on a bike! Bent my bike badly, knocked motorbike over but no other damage to it apart from one very pissed off owner. My problem was a mile from work at the end of my lunch break then 5 miles from home.

As a family, we now seem to avoid bikes.
Click to expand...

I did something similar on the way home from RP on my Coventry Eagle racer. Very windy, head-down - didn't see the flat-bed truck parked on the road (almost nobody parked on the road around Hykeham back then). Clunk!
 
When we were younger, a friend and I used to go and shoot air rifles in a field on the outskirts of our village (we had permission to be there). Usually the targets were tin cans or some plastic ducks we bought. Except for one time when we shot at a wine bottle, expecting it to break, but of course it was stronger than we thought and sent the pellets ricocheting back all over the place. Didn't try that again, but once my friend hit a nail or something metal in a fence post (instead of the can sat on top) and the pellet came straight back and hit him in the neck. No injury but it scared the sh*t out of him!
 
Cycling around the village as a kid, my front tire wedged into a pothole and flung me over the handle bars into the road. The pitching forward must have freed the bike, which then hit me in the head as I lay in the road. Got a good busted lip, swollen eye and lots of bruises out of that one!
 
NottyImp said:
Going down harmston hill as a kid on my bike without having checked the efficacy of my brakes beforehand.

Ended up in a big patch of nettles off the road near the bend at the bottom.
Click to expand...

I got my Cortina airborne on the straight hill between Waddo hill and Harmston Hill, humpback bridge about a third of the way down ( which I think they've removed now) and up she went, could have only been in the air for about half a second but it felt a lot longer. There was an almighty bang from the front suspension when it landed, so much so I thought I'd knackered the shocks but it seemed fine. Took a bit longer for the adrenaline to settle down though!
 
Sincilbanks said:
I got my Cortina airborne on the straight hill between Waddo hill and Harmston Hill, humpback bridge about a third of the way down ( which I think they've removed now) and up she went, could have only been in the air for about half a second but it felt a lot longer. There was an almighty bang from the front suspension when it landed, so much so I thought I'd knackered the shocks but it seemed fine. Took a bit longer for the adrenaline to settle down though!
Click to expand...

And then you did it again! :lol:
 
Rob the Imp said:
Cycling around the village as a kid, my front tire wedged into a pothole and flung me over the handle bars into the road. The pitching forward must have freed the bike, which then hit me in the head as I lay in the road. Got a good busted lip, swollen eye and lots of bruises out of that one!
Click to expand...

Did they call you "Lucky" Rob when you were younger, mate? ;)
 
Back in 1978 as a student at Sheffield Polytechnic , I started taking driving lessons. One day my I drove deep into Northern Sheffield,or "Sheffield Wednesday country" as sometimes known. On one large estate,my instructor (who was a Blunt Yorkshireman) asked me to do a 3 point turn. Now this was a pretty simple manouevre to anyone remotely competent-however I managed to do this in about 7-8 moves and hit the kerb at least twice. By now a group of about 10 Wednesday fans had gathered around to watch this spectacle to much amusement. They all gave me a round of applause as I drove off,which was very kind of them.

I eventually passed my driving test 2 years later at the 5th attempt.
 
Last edited:
Rob the Imp said:
When we were younger, a friend and I used to go and shoot air rifles in a field on the outskirts of our village (we had permission to be there). Usually the targets were tin cans or some plastic ducks we bought. Except for one time when we shot at a wine bottle, expecting it to break, but of course it was stronger than we thought and sent the pellets ricocheting back all over the place. Didn't try that again, but once my friend hit a nail or something metal in a fence post (instead of the can sat on top) and the pellet came straight back and hit him in the neck. No injury but it scared the sh*t out of him!
Click to expand...
I had similar trying to shoot rats in a farm building. Fortunately, only a glancing blow to the thigh. Even more fortunate for the rat!
 
I had a traumatic experience as a very young kid in the Central station. My older sister was going to Sheffield or somewhere and had decided to drag me along. We crossed the bridge to where the train was. On the way I noticed the chocolate/sweet machine on the wall, as we were about to board the train, I whined and begged for a tanner to get some chocolate.

She got on the train a bit further up, as I stuck the money in and pulled the tray at the bottom. The tray wouldn't budge, so I pulled it with both hands. It opened a fraction, but then snapped shut, trapping my index finger at the knuckle.

Ouch! I couldn't get it open whatever I tried. I looked over my shoulder the platform was deserted and the train was due out anytime.
After a bit of struggling seemed like hours. I noticed a bloke in a British Railways uniform, he heard my feeble cry for help. (I thought they might think I was trying to rob the machine lol). I think I had been there about five minutes, before this other bloke turned up with a tool to extract the tray and my finger.

I boarded the train in tears nursing the bleeding bruised finger. My sis was oblivious to my predicament. I never did get the chocolate and never tried to use that type of machine again!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.