Stupid stuff... | Page 6 | Vital Football

Stupid stuff...

Just after I started uni, as an, allegedly, mature student, my new found student friends took me out to the various student bars for birthday drinks.

After a few pints, somebody suggested some shorts. "I'll have a vodka" said I.

Anything in it?

Now, I blame Mike Harding for this next bit....

"yes, another one" said Mike Harding using my voice.

I have vague memories of a ride back to the halls in a big white taxi with a blue light. Oh, and waking up with a chipped tooth, a lens missing from my specs and a hole in the knee of my trousers.

In mitigation, I plead that I had spent the previous 5 years on the night shift...

Mike Harding never did stump up the compensation...
 
This is a really stupid one.
Where the old Asda was positioned in Hykeham there was a turning off Newark Road called Hathersage Avenue which you had to go down to be able to turn into Asda carpark.
Just before the turning into the carpark there was a slight bend. On the opposite side of the road there was a bungalow with a lovely hedge about 4 foot high around it.
What we used to do at night was that as a cars lights turned the corner off Newark Road on to Hathersage Avenue we used to wait on the Asda side of the road and someone would shout 'here she blows' and before the car got to us we would sprint across the road and dive into this poor person's hedge on the opposite side.
Dont ask me why.
I havnt got a clue.
 
clanfordimp said:
This is a really stupid one.
Where the old Asda was positioned in Hykeham there was a turning off Newark Road called Hathersage Avenue which you had to go down to be able to turn into Asda carpark.
Just before the turning into the carpark there was a slight bend. On the opposite side of the road there was a bungalow with a lovely hedge about 4 foot high around it.
What we used to do at night was that as a cars lights turned the corner off Newark Road on to Hathersage Avenue we used to wait on the Asda side of the road and someone would shout 'here she blows' and before the car got to us we would sprint across the road and dive into this poor person's hedge on the opposite side.
Dont ask me why.
I havnt got a clue.
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Do you remember at the back of Asda some wasteland and an old factory building? There was a concrete loading ramp there that we used to ride our bikes off.

Great fun, but quite a few bruises and scraped knees and elbows.
 
NottyImp said:
Do you remember at the back of Asda some wasteland and an old factory building? There was a concrete loading ramp there that we used to ride our bikes off.

Great fun, but quite a few bruises and scraped knees and elbows.
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Yeah remember that old warehouse and the ramp. It was really overgrown with trees and bushes around that warehouse but used to cut through that way to school every day.
Used to play footy on the land behind it and although it is now all Asda carpark the two trees we used to use as goalposts are still there to this day.
 
years ago when i did a paper round the bike had one of them baskets on the front for putting the box in, my mate decided to sit it it whilst i rode , didnt think about weight distribution and going down the lane i lost control and jumped off to see him end up in the biggest plot of nettles i couldnt help for laughing and it took him ages to free himself , still talks to me 40yrs later
 
Aged 8, i decided to make my own zip wire.
Climbed a tree in own garden in Carline Road, attached our old washing line to it.
Got down and attached other end to fence at other side of garden.
Then back up the tree with a coat hanger.
Hooked it over the stretched out washing line and jumped from the top of the tree expecting a great ride across the garden
But errrr no.
Line instantly snapped and i fell a good 20 to 30 foot to the ground. Knocked out and came round in hospital.
Probably explains a lot.
 
Not sure it is that stupid, but I bought a proving basket for making bread recently which came with a few tools. One of them is for scoring the top of the dough, and has a handle and a cover over the sharp bit. Well I couldn't remove this cover, and then suddenly whoosh, I did...and sliced my fingertip open very efficiently. Bloody thing is like a two-sided scalpel and just as sharp. Cue much bleeding everywhere and getting the soon-to-be-Mrs to knead the dough to save it coming out pink and with more protein than intended! It has healed now but it was a nasty one.
 
Rob the Imp said:
Not sure it is that stupid, but I bought a proving basket for making bread recently which came with a few tools. One of them is for scoring the top of the dough, and has a handle and a cover over the sharp bit. Well I couldn't remove this cover, and then suddenly whoosh, I did...and sliced my fingertip open very efficiently. Bloody thing is like a two-sided scalpel and just as sharp. Cue much bleeding everywhere and getting the soon-to-be-Mrs to knead the dough to save it coming out pink and with more protein than intended! It has healed now but it was a nasty one.
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Really annoys me when the dough drops while you're trying to score it. I use a Stanley knife blade and put three lines to mark mine; easier than a four line square effect. Glad you took the plunge, do you knead by hand?
 
Riiiiik said:
Really annoys me when the dough drops while you're trying to score it. I use a Stanley knife blade and put three lines to mark mine; easier than a four line square effect. Glad you took the plunge, do you knead by hand?
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I do knead it by hand, yeah. Could use the dough hook on the mixer but I haven't yet, would rather do it by hand while I learn (although I don't think I've learned much!) This slicer thing is very good for scoring, it's just lethal! Might just stick to using a sharp knife.

The problem I was having was it sticking to the floured teatowel in the bowl for the second prove, then it completely deflating with my struggling to remove it to be baked. How do you get around this? I did a batch the other day, split the dough in two; I put half in the proving basket with its cloth lining in place (it's a much smaller basket than I anticipated!) and the other half in a small loaf tin. Both rose well and then baked well (just put the loaf tin one in as was) and the dough came away from the basket lining well. The tin one came out much like a little cake but moister than any others I've baked.
 
Rob the Imp said:
I do knead it by hand, yeah. Could use the dough hook on the mixer but I haven't yet, would rather do it by hand while I learn (although I don't think I've learned much!) This slicer thing is very good for scoring, it's just lethal! Might just stick to using a sharp knife.

The problem I was having was it sticking to the floured teatowel in the bowl for the second prove, then it completely deflating with my struggling to remove it to be baked. How do you get around this? I did a batch the other day, split the dough in two; I put half in the proving basket with its cloth lining in place (it's a much smaller basket than I anticipated!) and the other half in a small loaf tin. Both rose well and then baked well (just put the loaf tin one in as was) and the dough came away from the basket lining well. The tin one came out much like a little cake but moister than any others I've baked.
Click to expand...

This all sounds horribly complicated. Honestly, Rob, with you prediliction for self-injury you need to keep it simple. I really don't want to be reading "Man dies in horror bread accident" in The Echo.
 
NottyImp said:
This all sounds horribly complicated. Honestly, Rob, with you prediliction for self-injury you need to keep it simple. I really don't want to be reading "Man dies in horror bread accident" in The Echo.
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One day my starter will probably explode and take our house down with it :lol: it keeps producing a lot of hooch, so you never know. Might make the national news!
 
"Out of the rubble came YeastMan, intent on justice for all eukaryotic single-celled organisms. His call-to-arms? I am not a slave to bread!"
 
Rob the Imp said:
I do knead it by hand, yeah. Could use the dough hook on the mixer but I haven't yet, would rather do it by hand while I learn (although I don't think I've learned much!) This slicer thing is very good for scoring, it's just lethal! Might just stick to using a sharp knife.

The problem I was having was it sticking to the floured teatowel in the bowl for the second prove, then it completely deflating with my struggling to remove it to be baked. How do you get around this? I did a batch the other day, split the dough in two; I put half in the proving basket with its cloth lining in place (it's a much smaller basket than I anticipated!) and the other half in a small loaf tin. Both rose well and then baked well (just put the loaf tin one in as was) and the dough came away from the basket lining well. The tin one came out much like a little cake but moister than any others I've baked.
Click to expand...
I used to make mine with 30 mins kneading. A good workout and I thought of it as cheating if I didn't do it all by hand but the mixer I use is 20 seconds at 1st and 2nd speed then 3 mins at 3rd speed and it's done, ready to prove in the mixing bowl.
I use a smooth tea towel heavily floured for the second prove and not had issues with sticking too much but I know what you mean about deflating whilst placing on a tray. Sometimes I have to squash it in the pyrex bowl but it alway rises when baking. I cook half on a baking tray and the other half in a lidded pyrex bowl. Creates it's own steam then.

You don't prove it in the banneton with the cloth in it do you? Flour the banneton, add the dough then cover with the cloth for the final proof. If you prove it with the cloth in the banneton you won't get the pattern on your bread.
 
Riiiiik said:
I used to make mine with 30 mins kneading. A good workout and I thought of it as cheating if I didn't do it all by hand but the mixer I use is 20 seconds at 1st and 2nd speed then 3 mins at 3rd speed and it's done, ready to prove in the mixing bowl.
I use a smooth tea towel heavily floured for the second prove and not had issues with sticking too much but I know what you mean about deflating whilst placing on a tray. Sometimes I have to squash it in the pyrex bowl but it alway rises when baking. I cook half on a baking tray and the other half in a lidded pyrex bowl. Creates it's own steam then.

You don't prove it in the banneton with the cloth in it do you? Flour the banneton, add the dough then cover with the cloth for the final proof. If you prove it with the cloth in the banneton you won't get the pattern on your bread.
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Ah ok, interesting. I'm trying a few things out with different containers at the minute, as each time I dump it on a baking tray I get a weird sort of floppy beret shape that rises unevenly!

I did this last time, first time I've used it. Just desperately wanted it to not stick to anything! I'm doing some tomorrow so I'll put it straight in the (floured) basket and see how it goes.
 
Riiiiik said:
I used to make mine with 30 mins kneading. A good workout and I thought of it as cheating if I didn't do it all by hand but the mixer I use is 20 seconds at 1st and 2nd speed then 3 mins at 3rd speed and it's done, ready to prove in the mixing bowl.
I use a smooth tea towel heavily floured for the second prove and not had issues with sticking too much but I know what you mean about deflating whilst placing on a tray. Sometimes I have to squash it in the pyrex bowl but it alway rises when baking. I cook half on a baking tray and the other half in a lidded pyrex bowl. Creates it's own steam then.

You don't prove it in the banneton with the cloth in it do you? Flour the banneton, add the dough then cover with the cloth for the final proof. If you prove it with the cloth in the banneton you won't get the pattern on your bread.
Click to expand...
And thanks for the tips!
 
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