Stupid stuff... | Page 5 | Vital Football

Stupid stuff...

As a child (some say I still am) I'd been watching a Frankenstein film on TV with a friend.
We went into the garden and I was Frankenstein; as I walked slowly, arms oustretched toward my friend, who'd run into the house, his sister slammed the door shut and my hands went through a glass panel.
I received a deep cut to my wrist needing 6 outer and 4 internal stitches, narrowly missing severing a tendon in my wrist.
 
I thought I'd have a go at fishing as a teenager so decided to go with one of my fishing friends.
I borrowed a rod off another lad and off we went down to the Witham in Hykeham.
Unfortunately the experience didn't go down well for me.
I hadn't put the rod together properly so when I casted it half the rod ended up in the middle of river whilst I stood there with the other half in my hands. I then knocked the rod rest in and lost that then dropped a pack of cards in and ruined them.
Never been fishing again to this day.
 
On a similar theme, weekend of fishing on Boston with my brother was wet, miserable and water licked, highlight was when a kid fishing opposite me caught an eel, stamped on it ( god knows why) slipped on it and fell in. Brother and me still laugh about it 40 years later.
 
I thought I'd have a go at fishing as a teenager so decided to go with one of my fishing friends.
I borrowed a rod off another lad and off we went down to the Witham in Hykeham.
Unfortunately the experience didn't go down well for me.
I hadn't put the rod together properly so when I casted it half the rod ended up in the middle of river whilst I stood there with the other half in my hands. I then knocked the rod rest in and lost that then dropped a pack of cards in and ruined them.
Never been fishing again to this day.

Were you an extra in a Carry On Coarse Fishing?
 
As a child (some say I still am) I'd been watching a Frankenstein film on TV with a friend.
We went into the garden and I was Frankenstein; as I walked slowly, arms oustretched toward my friend, who'd run into the house, his sister slammed the door shut and my hands went through a glass panel.
I received a deep cut to my wrist needing 6 outer and 4 internal stitches, narrowly missing severing a tendon in my wrist.
Oh lord 😳 that's a really nasty one! A friend of mine did a similar thing, dashed through a quickly-closed glass door after being called from upstairs to get a muffin! Badly cut his head and arms, lots of the red stuff and stitches required.
 
On a similar theme, weekend of fishing on Boston with my brother was wet, miserable and water licked, highlight was when a kid fishing opposite me caught an eel, stamped on it ( god knows why) slipped on it and fell in. Brother and me still laugh about it 40 years later.
Also similar, on the Witham at Claypole, aged around 10 or 11. The case off my mates reel dropped off and lay tantalisingly on the ledge just off the bank. He got down on his side, dangling his arm down to try and grab it, with me stood saying "left a bit, right a bit......". In almost slow motion he rolled off the bank and straight into the river. I absolutely pissed myself laughing before helping him out.
He then looked down to see that the reel cover had disappeared, and ran home in tears. I was still there laughing for a few a while after, before going to check with his mum that he was OK.
A few weeks later I borrowed his favourite float and cast it into the 6ft high nettles the other side of the river. Lost. Yet more tears and laughter!
By the way, it would take an invite to a secluded spot with someone like Charlize Theron to get me fishing these days!
 
Oh lord 😳 that's a really nasty one! A friend of mine did a similar thing, dashed through a quickly-closed glass door after being called from upstairs to get a muffin! Badly cut his head and arms, lots of the red stuff and stitches required.
If we ever got the chance to meet up we could all compare scars. :LOL:
 
As i and two other mates were walking round Hykeham during the school holidays in the days when Dennis Bowcock was building his big estates we saw some trees at the back of this new bungalow that had just been built that had a type of berry on them. Now, teenagers being teenagers we thought we might be able to turn these berries into a few quid by making some wine out of them!. The next day we went back with a cardboard box and my two mates went up the tree and were throwing these berries down to me. I had removed my trainers and socks and I was supposed to be squeezing the juice out of the berries by standing on them in the cardboard box.
Unfortunately I got a little bored and began eating the berries but paid for it later that evening when I was in so much pain I had to be taken to hospital to have my stomach pumped.
 
As i and two other mates were walking round Hykeham during the school holidays in the days when Dennis Bowcock was building his big estates we saw some trees at the back of this new bungalow that had just been built that had a type of berry on them. Now, teenagers being teenagers we thought we might be able to turn these berries into a few quid by making some wine out of them!. The next day we went back with a cardboard box and my two mates went up the tree and were throwing these berries down to me. I had removed my trainers and socks and I was supposed to be squeezing the juice out of the berries by standing on them in the cardboard box.
Unfortunately I got a little bored and began eating the berries but paid for it later that evening when I was in so much pain I had to be taken to hospital to have my stomach pumped.

You see, for me, the really stupid part of that story was trying to squeeze juice out of berries in a cardboard box.
 
Another Hykeham, fruit-related story. As a kid, I grew up in a bungalow on Green Lane and we had a Victoria plum tree in the back-garden.

Unripe Victoria plums are excellent for, well, throwing and chucking about. One afternoon early in the school holidays I decided it would be fun to chuck them from the back-garden over the roof into the road. Why? I was bored.

After a few chucks I heard a loud "Donk!" and a screech of brakes. I'd clearly mortared a car.

Terrified the driver would suss me out I went and hid in the shed. 😁
 
Just yesterday, at my age ! Should know better. Played golf, ended up incapable and practically unconscious with paramedics trying to restore blood sugar level and blood pressure. Hadn't drunk enough or eaten enough. Got well and truly told off and fully deserved it.
 
Just yesterday, at my age ! Should know better. Played golf, ended up incapable and practically unconscious with paramedics trying to restore blood sugar level and blood pressure. Hadn't drunk enough or eaten enough. Got well and truly told off and fully deserved it.

Tut, tut!
 
Another Hykeham, fruit-related story. As a kid, I grew up in a bungalow on Green Lane and we had a Victoria plum tree in the back-garden.

Unripe Victoria plums are excellent for, well, throwing and chucking about. One afternoon early in the school holidays I decided it would be fun to chuck them from the back-garden over the roof into the road. Why? I was bored.

After a few chucks I heard a loud "Donk!" and a screech of brakes. I'd clearly mortared a car.

Terrified the driver would suss me out I went and hid in the shed. 😁


So it was you who smashed the bonnet of my Dad's car on Green Lane all those years ago :wagging::lol: