Monday joke (ng) | Page 59 | Vital Football

Monday joke (ng)

A Guy with a 25-inch Willy went to a Doctor and said,

"I can't live with this Big Willy anymore..! It's too long."

The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for you, but if you see the Witch Doctor, down in the Bayou, she can help you."

So, he went to the Bayou and saw the Witch Doctor.

The Witch Doctor said, "Go into the Swamp and find a Female Frog.

"Ask her to Marry You. She'll say "NO", and you'll lose 5 inches off your Member immediately".

So, he went to the Swamp and found the Female Frog and asked her, "Will you marry me"..??? "NO", she said.

And right enough, he lost 5 inches off his Member.

The Guy liked the results, and thought, 20 inches is still just a little too much.

So he asked the Frog again, "Will You Marry Me"..??? The Frog said,

"NO". And the Guy lost another 5 inches.

He thought, Good, 15 inches is great, but 10 inches would just be perfect.

So he asked her again, "Will You Marry Me"..???

And the Frog said,

"How many times do I have to tell you.. NO..! NO..! NO...!"
 
A guy was embarrassed about the enormous size of his member. When he finally got a girlfriend he kept putting off the moment when all would be revealed. In the end he explained that although he was shy, the problem was that it was against his religious beliefs to have sex with the light on and they would have to consummate their relationship in the dark. So he turned off the light before they took their clothes off. As their passion began to rise, out of curiosity she asked “So this religion that means we have to have sex in the dark does it mean you don’t believe in……JESUS FXXKING CHRIST !!!”
 
Another one for today. I promise I’ve nearly run out. A couple go on a cruise. There’s a social night but the wife’s got a headache and insists the husband goes on his own. When he gets there, they’re playing a parlour game when you draw a subject out of the hat and then have to talk on the subject for 5 minutes. Everyone votes on the speeches and the highest score wins a prize.

So the husband draws out “sex”. So he does his talk and it’s hilarious and he easily wins the prize. At breakfast the following morning a couple come up to them and say “Your husband was a star ! We really enjoyed ourselves. Well done !”. The wife has no idea what they’re talking about. A second person comes up and says “Well he’s a dark horse isn’t he ! It’s always the quiet ones !” The wife now thoroughly intrigued asks “What DID you do last night ?” Husband replies, “We played a silly game. We had to talk about a subject and I got sssss…..sailing.” Wife says “Well I can’t see how that could have been very interesting. You’ve hardly done any !”

Out on deck, yet another person comes up, “Well, well, well. You’d never know just looking at him would you ?. Wife - “Well I don’t know what he said but let me tell you he’s only done it twice. The first time he was sick and the second time his hat blew off !”.
 
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