Monday joke (ng)

[Kojaculation]

My wife keeps telling me I'm childish and immature. It's got so bad she insists we sit down and talk about it. She's got no chance during the conker season!

 

[Chippygill]

question whats black and sails the seven seas answer binbag the sailor !!!!

 

[dwg9846]

How can you make 3 kilograms of fat look attractive? ..….
put a nipple on it.

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[PhilK66]

New Government Seal

They announced today they are changing their emblem from the Union Jack flag to a Union Jack coloured condom because it more accurately reflects the Government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

 

[Chippygill]

my mate used to work at the M and M sweetfactory but he got the sack for throwing away the ones with W and W on them !!!!

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[PuB]

A Vicar, a Priest and a Rabbit walk in to a bar.

The Rabbit looks at the barman and says ‘I think I’m a typo’.

 

[timnolongerinbrisban]

 

[Sturdy Gill]

View attachment 60914

Lol about right

 

[shotshy]

Fireworks
Effing fireworks on October 26th !!!
Why do they have to do things so early ?
My cat was so scared it ran up the Christmas tree.

 

[Chiptech]

I'm not saying my mate is tight, but the last time he took a tenner out of his pocket, it was a conker

 

[ARFUR CONNELL]

Tight?? My mate won't wear braces in case they give!

 

[LSB2]

Took me many years to prove it, but the tooth fairy really does exist!

 

[LSB2]

 

[The Fear]

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[timnolongerinbrisban]

 

[ian08040]

My friend told me the other day that if the world was about to end, he would fuc* everything that moves. He said, "What would you do?" I said, "Stand perfectly fuc*ing still!"