Monday joke (ng)

[shotshy]

I’ve just received a letter from some herb and spice company saying that I owe them £100

If I don’t pay, they said they are sending the bay leafs round.

 

[Chippygill]

i used to race snails and to make them go faster i thought i would pull there shells of it didnt work if anything it made them more sluggish !!!!

 

[nibbles]

Just had to sack a couple of lads at work after their lude and objectifying comments about Kelly Brook were overheard by a customer.

What a pair of tits.

 

[shotshy]

I hate judgemental people.
I can pick them out just by looking at them.

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[jokerman]

View attachment 60272

I'm hoping those seats are cheaper -although at Priestfield, they should probably be more expensive just now.

 

[timnolongerinbrisban]

 

[Gilles Lingam]

View attachment 60281

"Bear with me a minute"

 

[New Boy]

View attachment 60272

Is that the new improvement to the Brian Moore stand? If so I want to swap my seat from the Rainham end for one of those .

 

[New Boy]

Oops, my post ended up in the wrong place

 

[Gilles Lingam]

Oops, my post ended up in the wrong place

delete & repost !

 

[ARFUR CONNELL]

2 punks arrested by the police yesterday. One had been drinking battery acid, the other for chewing fireworks. The first one was charged, but the second one let off.

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[Romany]

 

[shotshy]

My granddaughter asked me where poo came from, so I sat her down on the sofa and gave her a very detailed explanation.
She looked a bit perplexed to be fair then said “what about Tigger?”

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[dwg9846]

I got caught peeing in the swimming pool yesterday, the lifeguard shouted so bloody loud I almost fell in.

 

[deleted at members request]

This guy was inexperienced at oral sex so his girlfriend told him to tongue the alphabet on her clitoris! Anyway, she left him for a chinese guy!