Monday joke (ng)

[Suffolk Gills]

New Minister for Fisheries - Larry the Cat

 

[Gills 58]

Suella Braverman says she would like to stand for leader of the Tories/ become PM.

 

[Upbury Gills]

New Minister for Fisheries - Larry the Cat

View attachment 58695

And fish gills liked

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[ian08040]

 

[Chiptech]

Mate of mine is a bespoke carpenter and specialises in Glory Holes and has batch of brand new customers as a result, he says they're coming out of the woodwork.

 

[chris who]

The inventor of autocorrect has died.The funnel will be held tomato.

 

[Nobby_66]

 

[chris who]

This guy always makes me laugh.

 

[timnolongerinbrisban]

 

[Nobby_66]

View attachment 58876

That's a coincidence, I had an email from HR today, apparently "What the f*** do you want" isn't the correct way to answer the phone on reception

 

[Gilles Lingam]

 

[LSB2]

 

[Sturdy Gill]

A bloke came up to me in Tesco today and asked if I could drink 5 litres of petrol

no I replied

he stated that his mate Jerry can

 

[Nobby_66]

 

[shotshy]

As I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, it suddenly occurs to me that I shouldn’t trust Google maps.

 

[shotshy]

You know what really gets on my nerves?
When people start to think that they are all intellectual and start talking about Mozart when I’d bet that they have never even seen any of his paintings.

 

[timnolongerinbrisban]

During a meal at an Indian restaurant the waiter said to me - Curry OK Sir. Alright I replied, but just one song.

 

[Buddha]

A number 8 walks into the doctor's and says, "I won't lie down we'll be here forever".

 

[shotshy]

I got a call from someone this morning who sneezed very loudly into the phone

I’m getting bloody fed up with these cold callers.