Fuck it. I'm not finished.
Why does Britain need an army anyway? That might sound like a stupid question but can you think of any serious national security threats at the moment? Is there any country in the world with the military capacity and national interest in invading Britain? Perhaps the US and they are Britain's biggest ally.
Islamic terrorism is done except random nutters with kitchen knives and the police deal with them.
So what does Britain get for its military money? I'll tell you but you won't like it. You, the above average man on the street gets nothing. Nothing. You pay your taxes for the RAF to spend ten days bombing caves that might contain ISIS. Fucking ISIS? Those bastards all shat themselves in the desert 4 years ago. ISIS are long gone so why the fuck did the RAF spend ten days bombing some caves in Iraq? Whatever it was, they aren't telling you. You are just the slob who pays for it.
So what's the point? Why spend all this money for no benefit? Well, there is a benefit, it's just not for you. The first one is those juicy crony contracts for the Eton boys. Very important that. Top priority.
The second benefit is that it's an army that defends the economic interests of the Eton boys anywhere in the world. Say you invest in a gold mine in central Africa but the locals don't like it and rag tag a militia together to run you out of town. If you are an Eton boy, the British special forces will show up to help put down that Islamic Militia that was trying to over throw the government.
If BP start developing an oil field on your ancestral lands and you pipe up about it, the British Army can step in and stabilise the situation. Brilliant!
Oh, but when the nurses work themselves half to death to keep people alive during a global pandemic, sorry, there is no money for them.
PUTIN!