Who is the *least* skilful player you have ever seen play for the Imps? | Page 2 | Vital Football

Who is the *least* skilful player you have ever seen play for the Imps?

I think we all need cheering up in these very dark dangerous days.
So I am going to veer of topic abit but with still a link to the thread title.
When I was fifteen I played in the adult Lincoln Sunday league div 5 for a team called Riseholme Athletic. It was an Ermine based team and I lived up the Ermine and knew the Manager Jim Poole. Even though I was fifteen I was the best player in the team , but in all honesty a one legged blind man would have been a contender.
The following i swear is a true story.
One pre season friendly Jim brought along what he thought would be the answer to all our problems. A nearly bald Italian hairdresser about 5ft tall who was apparently the business. We all thought with him being Italian he might be skillful
and make us a better team. We had benn playing for a while and he had done some really impressive sprints without touching the ball or really making an impression.
However his moment of glory arrived when he attempted an overhead kick, he got some power behind the ball that consequently smashed him full in the face and laid him out. He came around after about 30 seconds later only to witness 21 other players the ref and linesman all pissing themselves.
We never did see him again, but I played till I was fifty and have witnessed many matches but I have never seen that 'skill' repeated.
 
Ruskingtony said:
I think we all need cheering up in these very dark dangerous days.
So I am going to veer of topic abit but with still a link to the thread title.
When I was fifteen I played in the adult Lincoln Sunday league div 5 for a team called Riseholme Athletic. It was an Ermine based team and I lived up the Ermine and knew the Manager Jim Poole. Even though I was fifteen I was the best player in the team , but in all honesty a one legged blind man would have been a contender.
The following i swear is a true story.
One pre season friendly Jim brought along what he thought would be the answer to all our problems. A nearly bald Italian hairdresser about 5ft tall who was apparently the business. We all thought with him being Italian he might be skillful
and make us a better team. We had benn playing for a while and he had done some really impressive sprints without touching the ball or really making an impression.
However his moment of glory arrived when he attempted an overhead kick, he got some power behind the ball that consequently smashed him full in the face and laid him out. He came around after about 30 seconds later only to witness 21 other players the ref and linesman all pissing themselves.
We never did see him again, but I played till I was fifty and have witnessed many matches but I have never seen that 'skill' repeated.
Click to expand...

Sheehan almost repeated the trick in his very first appearance for us!
 
Marcus Richardson, bags of effort, just seemed to bounce of his shin when he tried to control it, not the best at hitting the target either.
 
Who was that big tall lad who got sent off playing his first full game out of position at centre half? Played midfield during the darkest conference days, ended up at Worksop Town from memory.
 
Ruskingtony said:
I think we all need cheering up in these very dark dangerous days.
So I am going to veer of topic abit but with still a link to the thread title.
When I was fifteen I played in the adult Lincoln Sunday league div 5 for a team called Riseholme Athletic. It was an Ermine based team and I lived up the Ermine and knew the Manager Jim Poole. Even though I was fifteen I was the best player in the team , but in all honesty a one legged blind man would have been a contender.
The following i swear is a true story.
One pre season friendly Jim brought along what he thought would be the answer to all our problems. A nearly bald Italian hairdresser about 5ft tall who was apparently the business. We all thought with him being Italian he might be skillful
and make us a better team. We had benn playing for a while and he had done some really impressive sprints without touching the ball or really making an impression.
However his moment of glory arrived when he attempted an overhead kick, he got some power behind the ball that consequently smashed him full in the face and laid him out. He came around after about 30 seconds later only to witness 21 other players the ref and linesman all pissing themselves.
We never did see him again, but I played till I was fifty and have witnessed many matches but I have never seen that 'skill' repeated.
Click to expand...
Not quite an overhead kick but this is how the pro's do it.
 
Paul Robson is the worst professional footballer I've ever seen.

When I hear the word skillful, I do tend to think of wingers/forwards as there really should be a requirement for them to have some skill and technique. We must have 100s of shockers over the years, but Bohan Dixon is the one that really stands out.

I know Colin Alcide got a respectable number of goals for us, but he was another who never seemed in control of a football.
 
Todd Jordan for me, he reminded me of when i played, his brain and feet were always 2 seconds behind the play and extremely limited ability.
 
The Imposter said:
Aristide Bassele. Anyone remember him from 2010/11? Came on loan from Bournemouth, a winger. Came off the bench for a couple of minutes and then started the next game, at home to Woking. He was that bad that he was hauled off at half-time, never to play for us again. He was shockingly awful.
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He should have been taken off after 5 minutes nevermind 45. That was without doubt the worst performance I have ever seen from a Lincoln player - worse than Paul Robson against Newport.
 
Todd Jordan was a real trier, certainly a long way from the worst player I've seen in a City shirt.
Put his guts and determination inside that Nolan creature and you'd have a real player.
 
Derek Asamoah, perhaps not the least skillful player to grace an Imps shirt. But will be high up the listings of players who flattered to deceive category, which will be a listing nearly as long as this one.
 
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