Has anyone else been in a status of suspended denial until now? Earlier on in the season, I thought we had a chance of automatic promotion and as that faded (before re-emerging to taunt us in the run in), I reconciled myself to our fate as play-off contenders. Beating Sunderland was a pressure boil burst and the release of tension is a wave I have ridden until this evening. I am now at the point where reality is setting around my feet. We are, potentially, only 90 minutes away from a return to the second tier of English football.
In response, I find myself checking the usual sources for news that will shape my view of what will happen on Sunday. And there isn't any. No 'mystery illness' striking down the Blackpool players. No 'imminent financial collapse' of our opponents. No 'everyone is really clear that Blackpool have already achieved their goals and will only be turning up for a kick-around'.
It seems that it is a finely balanced contest, which could go either way, and that there are no guarantees about how the scales will tip.
And this matters because it matters so much.
The QF defeat against Arsenal was the inevitable happening later than expected. The League 2 play-off defeat was an early opportunity glossed over by the EFL win. The EFL win wouldn't have have been too hard to swallow if it hadn't happened; it was a day out, Lincoln's first appearance at Wembley and we still had a shout at the play-offs. Last season was a dead rubber, but a promising renewal of the brand under MAP.
This is different. This could be a once in a generation opportunity (I know it is twice in a lifetime for many of us, but that only emphasises the distance between them) to reach heights that only a few of us have seen Lincoln play at before. It really is the biggest game since Fulham in 1982, but the prize available makes it bigger still.
I would argue that it is the biggest game in the history of Lincoln City Football Club. It is a game we can win and a game we can lose. The coin is in the air and who knows where it will fall.
I am getting tenser by the hour. Nervous. Exhilarated. Frustrated at the down time.
For a change, it is great that we are here, but it isn't enough. We have to win. HAVE TO. For crying out loud, we have been the epitome of the lower league club, bubbling about in the fourth tier of English football, surviving on the memory of a 45 year old success as Division 4 Champions.
Now we are not. Now we are Crewe. We are Shrewsbury. We are Grimsby ffs. Smaller clubs stretching themselves to cling on in the second tier long beyond when they should have fallen away. We have the potential to emulate the yo-yo Peterboroughs and Rotherhams. We can splash around in the big pool for the first time in 60 years.
I was going to apologise for the introspection. For the Kerouac spewing. But I shouldn't. We shouldn't need to apologise for anything Lincoln.
We are Lincoln. We are Lincoln and we can win this. We are Lincoln and we will win this.
Here endeth the lesson.