I'm bored so I'll recount this act of childish stupidity...
Aged about 9 and playing football unsupervised in the back yard, I kicked a pitchfork hiding in the long grass. I connected with such force that it went right through the sole of my trainer, then through my foot, then out the top and through the trainer.
No pain, just shock. I walked through the house to find my sister, still skewered, and screamed at the bottom of the stairs to try to beat the Human League album she was playing in her bedroom. A neighbour was alerted first - between them they pulled the pitchfork out, unwisely, and the carpet went very red very quickly.
Rushed to hospital. My mum was already there as she'd taken my other sister in the morning with suspected acute appendicitis. Anyway they had to stick needles and whatnot in the wound to clean it out as the pitchfork was minging, and do so several times again over the course of the next several weeks. I didn't walk for months, and when I did I converted into a left-footed player.
Sister recovered. Appendix was merely grumbling.
The accident plays in full colour and in slow motion in my head, and my foot is tingling 35 years later as I recall the memory.
I kept the trainer for a while - a red, black and white Puma Jetter. Entry hole in the sole and corresponding exit hole in the top. Slightly more red than originally intended.
Possibly the worst, most comically bad day in the history of my family.