Stupid stuff... | Page 9 | Vital Football

Stupid stuff...

Anybody done anything stupid lately? The other day I bought a box of cereal for the Mrs (I know, the most romantic man in the world). They were strawberry and white chocolate coco pops. Such a foul thing should never have graced this planet.
 
When I left Walkers, my team arranged a night out for me, starting at the Green Dragon.

They said it was fancy dress but not to worry, as they had arranged a costume for me, from the fancy dress shop at the top of the High Street. I duly went and picked it up.

So, on the appointed evening, I arrived at the Green Dragon.



I had wimped out and got my mate to give me a lift - no way was I taking the bus from Birchwood...


As Danger Mouse.



So I entered, to see all of my team...







In normal dress...



It was a great night, including several other pubs and a night club.

Yates's was fun - the bouncer refused me entry, due to the head, until the 30 folk behind me said they wouldn't go in without me....
 
“For the last six years I’ve kept a spreadsheet listing every parking spot I’ve used at the local supermarket in a bid to park in them all,” he tweeted. “This week I completed my Magnum Opus!”

There's your problem mate...
Imagine having that little going on in your life...
 
Wasn't sure whether to post this in the "What are you cooking during Lockdown" thread. Or intending to cook in my case. Having just come back from shopping at M & S,I managed to leave a bag of food shopping on the bus. Sods law states it was the bag with the most expensive items,namely 2 steaks, Toad In the Hole and 2 oranges. In view of the perishability of the items,I am just going to put the £20 loss to experience. I just hope someone has a nice dinner out of it.
 
I'm bored so I'll recount this act of childish stupidity...

Aged about 9 and playing football unsupervised in the back yard, I kicked a pitchfork hiding in the long grass. I connected with such force that it went right through the sole of my trainer, then through my foot, then out the top and through the trainer.

No pain, just shock. I walked through the house to find my sister, still skewered, and screamed at the bottom of the stairs to try to beat the Human League album she was playing in her bedroom. A neighbour was alerted first - between them they pulled the pitchfork out, unwisely, and the carpet went very red very quickly.

Rushed to hospital. My mum was already there as she'd taken my other sister in the morning with suspected acute appendicitis. Anyway they had to stick needles and whatnot in the wound to clean it out as the pitchfork was minging, and do so several times again over the course of the next several weeks. I didn't walk for months, and when I did I converted into a left-footed player.

Sister recovered. Appendix was merely grumbling.

The accident plays in full colour and in slow motion in my head, and my foot is tingling 35 years later as I recall the memory.

I kept the trainer for a while - a red, black and white Puma Jetter. Entry hole in the sole and corresponding exit hole in the top. Slightly more red than originally intended.

Possibly the worst, most comically bad day in the history of my family.
 
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Talking of silly stuff. Some pillock knocked down my garden wall in his van the other day. I've got a corner plot, and he's managed to hit the wall at 90 degrees to where he pulls out from the junction. Literally a 'u-turn! No idea how he has managed to destroy about 10 yards of wall given the distance he travelled!
Lived here around 20 years, and it's the third time the wall has been hit. Yorkshire imbeciles.:arrghh: