over 40 health check MOT | Vital Football

over 40 health check MOT

B

BLACKBOB 27

Vital Reserves Team
as 47 and received a letter I needed a 5 yearly mot regards my health.so they were 7 year late with that fecker to begin with.
went this morning expecting a good old going over, kept off the ale and cut down on the baccy all week in readiness.
What a shower of shite it turned out to be.
was the nurses first go on a live patient and she was shaking more than me. apologised as to being useless regards the pin prick finger blood test and she was correct.
asked the usual questions regards lifestyle and tapped all the answers into a block software system on the pc.
took my weight regards BMI and couldn't understand why puter said no!
I suggested it may need my height to do a calculation and she kind of agreed.
hey presto next question please?
took my waist measurement which consisted of her putting a canvas tape around my gut belly button back to belly button.
She fucked the puter up and we had to start again as she hadn't been keeping notes.
Anyway as I suffer from severe diverticulitis I have to eat a high fat dairy input which I don't like.
She said I am overweight and need to do more exercise ffs as my BMI and cholesterol are above average.
I'm 6ft 2" and weigh 13 stone 8lbs,hyperactive and done two 17km bike rides last week just for the hell of it with the dogs.
this little fat stumpy fecker nurse had the cheek to tell me that I was fecked when she was getting out of breath typing into her puter ffs.
she was at least 10 year younger than me but looked 10 year older than me .
NHS stick ya health test up ya arse

:8: :8: :8:
 
It's all about sticking to the right budget nowadays in regards to health. The health service will be nee use soon.

Ive had the flu for a week and can't be arsed to do owt. Im even getting wrong off wor lass for hogging a bit of fridge space with me beer as ive been off it. Might have a couple tonight as ive had nee sleep for the last 3 nights or so, due to this cough.
 
BLACKBOB 27 - 4/11/2014 20:55

never had flu in me life,they reckon it's very bad.
Click to expand...

Some types can be but this is just one of them 'man' types where we moan on lethargically but lasses have it worse.

It's the catarhh and burning sensation in the throat that i don't like. Can take the other bits. :willynilly:
 
sounds shite thank feck as got the immune gene somewhere for now. Regards diverticulitis I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
sudden death would be a relief from a flare up. Only when you get into dock with iv morphine and antibiotics do you want to live again.
 
Toon_NoMatterWot - 4/11/2014 20:59

BLACKBOB 27 - 4/11/2014 20:55

never had flu in me life,they reckon it's very bad.
Click to expand...

Some types can be but this is just one of them 'man' types where we moan on lethargically but lasses have it worse.

It's the catarhh and burning sensation in the throat that i don't like. Can take the other bits. :willynilly:
Click to expand...

My mate had the same thing, god rest his soul.
 
Your BMI sounds ok Bob. Apparently your waist size should be half your height or less. I was at the docs for my annual MOT this morning and gave a blood sample and I get the results in a week.
 
thecorner - 4/11/2014 21:20

Toon_NoMatterWot - 4/11/2014 20:59

BLACKBOB 27 - 4/11/2014 20:55

never had flu in me life,they reckon it's very bad.
Click to expand...

Some types can be but this is just one of them 'man' types where we moan on lethargically but lasses have it worse.

It's the catarhh and burning sensation in the throat that i don't like. Can take the other bits. :willynilly:
Click to expand...

My mate had the same thing, god rest his soul.
Click to expand...

:17:

I reckon this is the end of it and I should be on the road to recovery the morra as a shit load of the catarhh has come up the night.


*cracks open first tin for a while
 
That's me fu ked - im 6" 2 and weigh over 17 stone... Must be the size of my bones!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

Not to self - Don't bother with MOT reminders!

 
didn't even get a proper blood draw just a finger prick for diabetes. Normally they pump half a gallon out into tubes.
 
Surely you're underweight at 6 2 and 13.8 Bob? I'm the same height and very similar weight and I ain't fat- in fact I'm probably fitter now than I have been for years though my bp is on the rise - though I blame work for that. I'd imagine you're in fine fettle given all your outdoor living, though I've never heard of diverticulitis before this evening and will be checking it our promptly. Am coming to terms with the fact that I think my love affair with strong black Italian coffee needs to end. I've also got a real weakness for cheese that's probably got to be reigned in a bit. I fucking love cheese and an old school friend owns a cheese shop which is great but the cholesterol may be a bit high!
 
lost 3 kilo with the diverticulitis mate and was put on a high fat diet by the hospital dietician to regain the calories.
this bint said I had to stop eating dairy ffs.
 
diver is basically a lifelong disease of the bowel, no cure you just have to live with it.as had it since 1990 and coped ok but as age catches up the events become more severe resulting in 999 bleeding from the rectum and full IV'S on admission until it settles down hopefully .awful thing to suffer from from but you have to rock on regardless.
wife guna get me a mini porta loo for xmas lol.blowy up fecker like Latic has.
 
3 kilos! Jesus, in what time period? Does it flare up and then die down again? Have you had to have surgery? Symptoms sound like they can get very painful and it's the first digestive condition I've read about that actively looks to reduce fibre. Doesn't seem like they've got causes nailed down though and sounds like one of those conditions that people can have for years without realising. Have they looked at any possible link with other meds you might be on as pharmaceuticals play havoc with my stomach and general area. Never had flu either myself, not the real flu at least.
 
3 kilo in weeks you just cant eat solids as the bowel cant cope and the pain is off this planet,hence the ambulance and into dock for the iv's.
 
Had 4 consultants now over the years and your correct in the fact they don't have a clue regards why!
must say myself though I'm paying for a massive wild younger life when I should have looked after myself a tad better.
But it was fun and I wouldn't swap it for the world, but this is what will catch you up once you hit the 40's and onwards.
still loads of time to ream the stock back in and hopefully gain some extra years.
 
consultant trying to avoid surgery as it's a big deal with risks, bag fitted for weeks depending on healing of the bowel. Could become permanent if any probs during procedure.
 
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