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O/T Jokes

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.



The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."



The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.!



The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.



The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"



The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could open the jar"....
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5xecCEivXk :59: :59:

:1: :30: Congratulations :70: Woddy 10,000th post :30: :1:

:35: :85:
 
What did one lesbian vampire say to another?



See you next month.
 
Don was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
 
I was feeling horny in bed and turned over and asked the wife to give me a blow job.

She said "I'm too tired now love.Have a wank in that glass and I'll drink it later!"
 
LOL

I've actually seen that footage as video and he turns round to whoever, gesticulates, says something then the guy in the beret shows him the lids are still on, and instead of laughing he pats the guy on the shoulder and walks away shaking his head as if the other guy is wrong!LOL

Shame on you wh10

lol

for shame
 
think audre-est-facre is a little out dated. maybe change to the gay motto...... fuck the arse!! works both ways and has a funny ring 2 it!!
 
What is making love?

I don't really know, but it is something women apparently do when you're shagging them.
 
thers a nun and a hooligan in a carriage on a train.the hooligan has a bag of prawns and he starts throwing them at the nun.after a while the nun gets fed up and stands up and pulls the emergency chord.the hooligan says "are you stupid,you will get fined £50 for pulling the chord.the nun replies "when the police arrive and i shout rape and they smell your fingers you will get 10 years.
 
I doubt he'd get ten years for fingering a nun.

In fact I doubt the police wold come at all.

This country....
 
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