MAN RULES | Vital Forums

MAN RULES

astonion

Vital Squad Member
#1
Was'nt sure if I should put this as a new thread or under an old one. I think it might enlighten any ladies that may take the time to read it. We always hear "the rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.
They are all numbered #1 because they are all equally important.

1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl now, if its up put it
down, we need it up, you need it down, you do'nt hear us
complaining when you leave it down.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want, let us be clear on this one
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just tell us what you want.
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
thats what we do, sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissable in an
argument, in fact, all comments are null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are, don't ask.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
these ways makes you angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it
done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during the commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. (continued below)
 

The Fear

A Wise Man (once sat next to him)
#2
Amen about hints. I actually tell people never to use hints on me, they don't work. I'm relatively clued up kinda person but hints seem to wash over me. If you want something ask. If you hint, you'll not get, I don't have a hint radar!
 

James06

Vital Football Legend
#5
The Fear - 14/3/2013 12:19

Amen about hints. I actually tell people never to use hints on me, they don't work. I'm relatively clued up kinda person but hints seem to wash over me. If you want something ask. If you hint, you'll not get, I don't have a hint radar!
When you go for your cliquey curry nights are there any spare seats around the table?
 

astonion

Vital Squad Member
#7
1. All men see in sixteen colours, like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit, not a colour, pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing is wrong, we know you are lying but its just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere anything you wear is fine.
1. Don't as us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss football or motor racing.
1. You have enough clothes and yes too may shoes.
1. I am in shape, round is a shape.
1. Thankyou for reading this, yes I know I am sleeping on the couch tonight, we men like that, its a bit like camping. thats it guys
hope this makes thing clearer.
 

kefkat

Vital Football Legend
#11
Women's rule 1/ Ignore anything a man tries to put in place as we make the rules ;o ) hope that is now clear..

Doo doo beee dooh