Brilliant story H .
One day when I’ve got an hour to spare I will tell the story of when I became a postman in 1970 and got trapped in an old lady’s front porch on a Saturday morning after a Friday night on the light and bitters ! Not a pleasant experience for anybody , especially her ......
Ive got this far , so I may as well continue .
it was a time when there was no work , I had just finished my apprenticeship and the country was on three days work a week due to the miners strike etc .,. I just could afford not to be working and earning so I joined the post office as a postman . Brilliant job , loved it .
anyway , Friday nights were always heavy with the lads , hence why I couldn’t afford not to be working , and the light and bitters didn’t go down well with the old Newington Butts . If the landlord of the Lord Palmerston didn’t clear his pipes out properly., he made sure everyone else’s pipes were cleared out later ! ............. So I’m on my round , Saturday morning , and the rumblings begin , and get worse and worse , and I’m in an area where there just isn’t a public toilet. , .. it’s getting desperate and I’ve got a letter that needed to be signed for , opened the porch door , stepped inside , rang the bell on the main front door , the porch door slammed shut behind me , and stuck , at the same time my sphincter gave up the struggle , I couldn’t open the porch door to let the stench out , the old lady opened the main front door and the purple haze hit her straight in the boat race . !
I had no option but to apologise ,,ask to use her toilet , , I had to throw away my boxers and sponge myself down in her loo .
She was really good about it , made me a cup of tea , and we became “good friends“ . I even fixed her porch door from jamming shut later .
hope everyone is well , safe and still onside , playing to the rules and not using the dark arts . It really isn’t a good place to be mucking about out there .