Good Morning Thread | Page 245 | Vital Football

Good Morning Thread

Good morning all.
Bright and sunny this morning .
Loads of blue sky around .

I haven’t seen any sign of PND . , but I’ve heard , via my wife texting her mate next door , that he only had heavy cold symptoms , .
He is the same age as me , but a lot bigger ( around the waist I mean, I’m not sure about the old chap department , and quite frankly I don’t really care ) .
So that is a measure of the power of the vaccinations . Truly amazing .
my wife will have had hers three weeks ago ,this week , so we are both feeling pretty chuffed . Any body that gets the opportunity , go for it , don’t even put it off for a day .

There seems to be a lot in the news about Prince Harry , I must admit I haven’t followed it , but I get the “gist” that he doesn’t want to be in the news .
He wanted a quiet life in Canada ........ or have I got that wrong . ?

I was very pleased with the allotment last week when I finally got up there . Not too bad at all . I did a good days work , the sun was shining and I really enjoyed it , ,
The sun went down around four o clock and it got really cold . So I called it a day and went home.
I really felt it the following day , aching back and legs , but it is so worth it .
Seeds are all showing themselves in the greenhouse , buds are on the shrubs in the garden , The Acers aren’t showing yet , but that’s good because we are going to repot them into bigger pots and fresh Soil .
They look a bit “tired “at the end of last summer .

hope you are all well . Getting near the end now but don’t let your guard slip . It’s bad enough being one of the first to get the virus. It would be even worse to be one of the last .

Take care , look after each other.
Be worthy .,ha ha !
 
Good afternoon all, latish report, weather still can't makes its bleedin mind up, cloudy, sunny no wind you get my gist, but dry all the same.
Walt the geezer your talking about, is that him with the missus that doesn't want publicity and live privately, am only guessing here!

Went up the Ville earlier to do a bit of banking/shopping, had a cuppa with an oppo of mine, long long time Spurs fan, great chats all round.
Mrs PY informed me this morning that she wanted a 9ft round Morrocan Rug to go under our Round Dining table, so got all details Manufactor, colour, cost etc, so on order n paid.

I had an great memory today of my Military days, I had "shit on a raft" for breakfast, Mrs PY had got her Carer to buy some Kidney's, so I chopped up, braised em with diced spring onions, poured on to toast, thus "shit on a raft" love it.

Mrs PY's bestie came round this morning, who informed her that she has to keep in her nightwear/Dressing gown for at least another month, her ribs are still not set properly, age you see, have a guess who ain't happy, yep you got it lol!

Oh yes the "garden Battle of Crittures" our Bulldog hound v Ginger Twat(Tom), was at the kitchen sink yesterday, heard smash against 6ft perimeter fence, looked up to see Hound just snapping at Twats tail as it went up the fence, squeal from Twat, Hound back at back door with ginger hair all round his muzzle, like a goatee lol! so any one see a Ginger Twat with a bald tail, you know where its been haha!

SpursEx, keep going mate.
All for now, stay on the look out with you eyes pealed, they are still out there, keep keeping safe all.
 
Pompey Yid said:
Good afternoon all, latish report, weather still can't makes its bleedin mind up, cloudy, sunny no wind you get my gist, but dry all the same.
Walt the geezer your talking about, is that him with the missus that doesn't want publicity and live privately, am only guessing here!

Went up the Ville earlier to do a bit of banking/shopping, had a cuppa with an oppo of mine, long long time Spurs fan, great chats all round.
Mrs PY informed me this morning that she wanted a 9ft round Morrocan Rug to go under our Round Dining table, so got all details Manufactor, colour, cost etc, so on order n paid.

I had an great memory today of my Military days, I had "shit on a raft" for breakfast, Mrs PY had got her Carer to buy some Kidney's, so I chopped up, braised em with diced spring onions, poured on to toast, thus "shit on a raft" love it.

Mrs PY's bestie came round this morning, who informed her that she has to keep in her nightwear/Dressing gown for at least another month, her ribs are still not set properly, age you see, have a guess who ain't happy, yep you got it lol!

Oh yes the "garden Battle of Crittures" our Bulldog hound v Ginger Twat(Tom), was at the kitchen sink yesterday, heard smash against 6ft perimeter fence, looked up to see Hound just snapping at Twats tail as it went up the fence, squeal from Twat, Hound back at back door with ginger hair all round his muzzle, like a goatee lol! so any one see a Ginger Twat with a bald tail, you know where its been haha!

SpursEx, keep going mate.
All for now, stay on the look out with you eyes pealed, they are still out there, keep keeping safe all.
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Brilliant Pompey , never a dull moment when you are around . I had to laugh at the ginger twat , I’m not a cat lover at all , so I will apologise for laughing if any of you out there are cat lovers .
Im sure Nick will suddenly jump up now and put me in my place !!!
That kin Harry n Megan are getting on my nerves. He was putting her forward for bit parts in tv programmes years ago . For someone who wants no public life she goes a strange way about it .
Or is it the royal public life . She also went about that in a peculiar way .
“I don’t want the royal way of life , but I will marry a kin prince !!!! “
I definitely , 100%, will not be watching that kin interview .
just like I have never seen a royal wedding . Or trooping the colour , or anything to do with them . They are all a bunch of weirdo’s .
Sorry Pompey , I know you are a Royalist , and good for you .

. By the way , I love kidneys . Devilled kidneys are really nice . Wouldn’t have a scooby how to do them , Steak and Kidney, , we lived on kidneys and all other offal as kids in the east end of London , in the fifties and sixties.
We ate things then tgat you would never see now . .... pigs trotters , chicken hearts , (pigs hearts were brilliant ,) sheep’s gonads , Greavsie was on about oxtail a while ago , I’d forgotten all about that , actually buying one .
I know we had brain back then but I don’t know what animal it came from .

take care mate .
 
Royals absolutely bore me also Walt, and I will defo not be watching it.

What is this fetish you have about kids knees Walt...strange to say the least.

Brains ...well for sure seeing how people have behaved in lockdown can rest assured the brains you munch are not human!

Anyway hope the shammers have a bump tonight..about time

Have a good evening folks!
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant Pompey , never a dull moment when you are around . I had to laugh at the ginger twat , I’m not a cat lover at all , so I will apologise for laughing if any of you out there are cat lovers .
Im sure Nick will suddenly jump up now and put me in my place !!!
That kin Harry n Megan are getting on my nerves. He was putting her forward for bit parts in tv programmes years ago . For someone who wants no public life she goes a strange way about it .
Or is it the royal public life . She also went about that in a peculiar way .
“I don’t want the royal way of life , but I will marry a kin prince !!!! “
I definitely , 100%, will not be watching that kin interview .
just like I have never seen a royal wedding . Or trooping the colour , or anything to do with them . They are all a bunch of weirdo’s .
Sorry Pompey , I know you are a Royalist , and good for you .

. By the way , I love kidneys . Devilled kidneys are really nice . Wouldn’t have a scooby how to do them , Steak and Kidney, , we lived on kidneys and all other offal as kids in the east end of London , in the fifties and sixties.
We ate things then tgat you would never see now . .... pigs trotters , chicken hearts , (pigs hearts were brilliant ,) sheep’s gonads , Greavsie was on about oxtail a while ago , I’d forgotten all about that , actually buying one .
I know we had brain back then but I don’t know what animal it came from .

take care mate .
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Glad that made you laugh Walt regards the Ginger Twat, I noticed him about 1/2 hour ago on the fence, Hound spotted him also, "oops am out of ere" I think he screamed, lol!

Mate Offal I still eat loads of it, Liver n Bacon/Onions mmmm!
Steak n Kidney and the rest, meat man in the Ville on Friday gets whatever you order, Mrs PY hates em all, thus more for me, mind she does love my Liver n Bacon/Onions gravy, strange eh!

No need to be sorry mate regards the Royal family, each to their own.
Though I am a Royalist I never watch any of their stuff on tv, and I most certainly will not be watching him n her, another GT, her the at all/anybody costs ladder climber, Z lister to ???.
I did do Trooping of the Colour twice, not with the Guards, security etc.
Have also been at the Cenataph x 2 times, Remembrance Sunday, long bloody day.

Have a great rest off day, it will be even better if Leeds can whack then turds in the Public Park.

Take care yourself mate, look after Mrs Walt, remember how lucky you are.
 
Good morning all .
That was a great way of finishing your post yesterday , Pompey .
“ Remember how lucky you are “‘

That has really struck a chord with me .
I am lucky . We are lucky , me and my wife .

This time last year my wife was just getting over her cancer operation and she wasn’t feeling that good .
We had the absolute fear at the same time that at any minute we could catch a virus that would finish us off , without ever seeing our grandchildren again .
We have had lockdowns , can’t do this , can’t do that , cant do the other ( I will be the judge on that ! )
We have had another operation to reverse the first operation where her bowel poked out through her belly ,
All the follow up test have proved negative for cancer ,
A complete stranger has saved my wife’s life and put her back together again .
Now we have had the vaccines and the light at the end of the tunnel is blinding .
We won’t be having a holiday this year , but so what .

At this very moment I AM remembering just how lucky we are .
Feeling very humble..... but so very very grateful .
Your final sentence was absolutely wonderful .
I will remember THAT forever as well .
Thanks Pompey .

I hope you all have a great day . The sun is shining .
Look after each other . Stay safe . Stay worthy .
 
Glorious here in the Eastern Regions of our green and peasant land today.

Long walk along beach and across fields...hardly any shit machines which is a bonus.

Its the lull before the BEAST FROM THE WEST...Walthy/pomp I expect a reciprocal warning system to be set up pronto!.

Thought I would reminisce about my 20 years in Bonny Scotland by sharings some of the local lingo that I had to learn to understand...a snippet follows......

Ah blootered it a wee bit oan the gear again, ah creep hame fir some moar as ma hert sinks in ma chist cavity n it's uh-aw, ah kin barely speak fir a bit . Whenah git intae the hoose its a mess ay clathes n kid's toys. Thir's a pile ay dishes in sink ahn they look like ben thaire fir years..... .

....and when they speak like this at 100 miles an hour you have no chance I tell you.

It was all great fun though especially when they sank a few and started on 'the 'english bastard' .never felt really threatened as usually after a few more bevvies they sat there with a fag burning in the their mouths with their eyes closed and head jerking upwards periodically to try to keep themselves awake ...ha ha

Any way ooot agin whilst the weather holds as the next few days are going to be bloody awful.

Cheers..
 
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Greavswasthegreatest said:
Glorious here in the Eastern Regions of our green and peasant land today.

Long walk along beach and across fields...hardly any shit machines which is a bonus.

Its the lull before the BEAST FROM THE WEST...Walthy/pomp I expect a reciprocal warning system to be set up pronto!.

Thought I would reminisce about my 20 years in Bonny Scotland by sharings some of the local lingo that I had to learn to understand...a snippet follows......

Ah blootered it a wee bit oan the gear again, ah creep hame fir some moar as ma hert sinks in ma chist cavity n it's uh-aw, ah kin barely speak fir a bit . Whenah git intae the hoose its a mess ay clathes n kid's toys. Thir's a pile ay dishes in sink ahn they look like ben thaire fir years..... .

....and when they speak like this at 100 miles an hour you have no chance I tell you.

It was all great fun though especially when they sank a few and started on 'the 'english bastard' .never felt really threatened as usually after a few more bevvies they sat there with a fag burning in the their mouths with their eyes closed and head jerking upwards periodically to try to keep themdelves awake ...ha ha

Any way ooot agin whilst the weather holds as the next few days are going to be bloody awful.

Cheers..
Click to expand...
Brilliant !
thanks Greavsie .

let the wind blow high , let the wind blow low !

Donald , where’s me troosers .
Mae wee Doc n Doris ,
It’s a very strange land up there .lots of roaming goes on ive heard , especially in the gloaming .
I’ve always kept well away .
 
Afternoon everyone, bloody beautiful sunshine ere on the hill down Souff, no clouds a bit of a breeze, god knows where the "Beast from the West" is no sign as yet Greavsie, like Walt I will keep you informed.

Walt you are most welcome with my statement "Remember how lucky you are" that could have "we all are" on the end, in this day n age have a look and just remember what I said, lovely post by the way mate.

Further info..."battle of the garden", its getting serious Ginger Twat brought a mate, both sat on fence looking we are ard! Bulldog hound sauntered out to have a look, you could see him thinking "2 of em eh! now bring it on" so with a gentle walk up to where the Twats were he then did his Hulk impression, chest swelling out with a gutteral bark, off the 2 Twats went with their tails between their legs, Hound returning back down the path, tail high, smug look on his boatrace, well satisfied good job done, until the next time, lol!

Greavsie you gave a memory from Sweatie Land, I have one, of many, esp for how great the Sweaties are, me and a few oppos had been to see Scotland v England, England winning 5-1, Channon hattrick, at HP, anyway on returning back to Base, HMS Neptune, we decided to get off the train at Queens St station in Glasgow and go for a round or two, outside the station was a boozer, so in we went, this was about 8pm, at the bar got surrounded by these grizzly ginger Sweaties, questioning us about being English bastards etc, followed with "de ya wanna wee dram" with your on from us, we ended up doing a "lock in" until about 2am, pissed or what, late back for signing in that morning, in the shit lol! it was worth it what a great night/evening and I cannot say enough how brilliant a company the Sweaties were, an excellent memory for all of us.

Talking about Ginger Twats did anyone watch the soap last night? If your like me you had better things to do with your life lol!

Keep safe all, keep smiling and keep the laughs going, cheers all.
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant !
thanks Greavsie .

let the wind blow high , let the wind blow low !

Donald , where’s me troosers .
Mae wee Doc n Doris ,
It’s a very strange land up there .lots of roaming goes on ive heard , especially in the gloaming .
I’ve always kept well away .
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Walt you've never been to Sweatie land, you really ought to if you can, you don't know what yu have missed, its brilliant up there and you will have a few laughs, obviously they have their share if pricks/idiots, like there is everywhere, but I would still recco it just for the experience.
 
Nick Real Deal said:
I mentioned I got my call up papers and booked both my jabs but was disappointed the nearest site was 16 miles away.
I have had another call up to my local surgery now which is 3 miles away. It's only 3 days later for next Tuesday instead of this Saturday.
So I have been offered two jabs. I have decided to cancel the 16 miler.
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Did you say to the receptionist , “ see you next Tuesday “
I would have !
 
Pompey Yid said:
Walt you've never been to Sweatie land, you really ought to if you can, you don't know what yu have missed, its brilliant up there and you will have a few laughs, obviously they have their share if pricks/idiots, like there is everywhere, but I would still recco it just for the experience.
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I met some lovely people from all over Scotland , when I went on holiday to Majorca, when I was single . Two years before i met my wife .
I had just had ten years of living on my own with only my “@#^* to keep keep happy , .
I checked in to the hotel , dumped my bags in the room and sauntered to the bar at 95 miles an hour . It was about four pm ., There were two blokes at the bar , one of them from Glasgow . He turned out to be the head of The Security Forces for the region around the city . He had just finished the security for Tina Turner .
We struck up an immediate friendship .It was love at firss shhite , as we were both plastered , his wife was not at all happy to find him and me holding each other up at seven pm . The bar was also in danger of falling over had we not been holding that up as well .

It turned out that half of Scotland was in the hotel that fortnight and he knew them all .

At the end of the holiday I had been invited to New Years Eve in a log cabin on the banks of Loch Loman , ...... a holiday in Lockerbie and Christmas in Edinburgh .

Wonderful people . Sadly I never made any of the invites .
It was on that holiday that I broke three ribs on the banana boat .
The Drunken yobs had dragged me off my sun bed , into the beach bar and finally onto a banana boat ....

It didn’t hurt until I got home and sobered up .
.
Boy could they drink .!
Great holiday as well , so they told me !
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
I met some lovely people from all over Scotland , when I went on holiday to Majorca, when I was single . Two years before i met my wife .
I had just had ten years of living on my own with only my “@#^* to keep keep happy , .
I checked in to the hotel , dumped my bags in the room and sauntered to the bar at 95 miles an hour . It was about four pm ., There were two blokes at the bar , one of them from Glasgow . He turned out to be the head of The Security Forces for the region around the city . He had just finished the security for Tina Turner .
We struck up an immediate friendship .It was love at firss shhite , as we were both plastered , his wife was not at all happy to find him and me holding each other up at seven pm . The bar was also in danger of falling over had we not been holding that up as well .

It turned out that half of Scotland was in the hotel that fortnight and he knew them all .

At the end of the holiday I had been invited to New Years Eve in a log cabin on the banks of Loch Loman , ...... a holiday in Lockerbie and Christmas in Edinburgh .

Wonderful people . Sadly I never made any of the invites .
It was on that holiday that I broke three ribs on the banana boat .
The Drunken yobs had dragged me off my sun bed , into the beach bar and finally onto a banana boat ....

It didn’t hurt until I got home and sobered up .
.
Boy could they drink .!
Great holiday as well , so they told me !
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Many years ago I went to Corfu with a mate. Early that evening we met some Celtic supporters and joined them in the mother of all sessions. Now we were both good drinkers in those days but this was a step up.

Neither of us knew anything about the latter part of the evening or how we got home. I managed to raise my head off the pillow the following morning and the clock said 7.30. I told my mate and we said forget it and went back to sleep.

We were woken at 10 o'clock by continuous knocking at the door. I got myself off the bed and opened the door. It was the maid looking to clean the room. I asked her to give it a miss for one day. She was insistent - she didn't clean yesterday because she couldn't wake us up.

To cut a long story short: what I thought was 7.30 in the morning was in fact the evening. What I thought was 10 o'clock two and a half hours later, was in fact 12 and a half hours later the following morning. We had slept through a whole day and night of our holiday. And if it hadn't been for that maid I'm not sure at what point we would have realised. Probably when we would have been turfed out of our room a day early (in our world).

They were great lads those Celtic boys though.
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant Pompey , never a dull moment when you are around . I had to laugh at the ginger twat , I’m not a cat lover at all , so I will apologise for laughing if any of you out there are cat lovers .
Im sure Nick will suddenly jump up now and put me in my place !!!
That kin Harry n Megan are getting on my nerves. He was putting her forward for bit parts in tv programmes years ago . For someone who wants no public life she goes a strange way about it .
Or is it the royal public life . She also went about that in a peculiar way .
“I don’t want the royal way of life , but I will marry a kin prince !!!! “
I definitely , 100%, will not be watching that kin interview .
just like I have never seen a royal wedding . Or trooping the colour , or anything to do with them . They are all a bunch of weirdo’s .
Sorry Pompey , I know you are a Royalist , and good for you .

. By the way , I love kidneys . Devilled kidneys are really nice . Wouldn’t have a scooby how to do them , Steak and Kidney, , we lived on kidneys and all other offal as kids in the east end of London , in the fifties and sixties.
We ate things then tgat you would never see now . .... pigs trotters , chicken hearts , (pigs hearts were brilliant ,) sheep’s gonads , Greavsie was on about oxtail a while ago , I’d forgotten all about that , actually buying one .
I know we had brain back then but I don’t know what animal it came from .

take care mate .
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Nothing wrong with a ginger twat. Can't say I've seen one, let alone one with a bald spot.:grinning:
 
Gary Onedaysoon said:
Many years ago I went to Corfu with a mate. Early that evening we met some Celtic supporters and joined them in the mother of all sessions. Now we were both good drinkers in those days but this was a step up.

Neither of us knew anything about the latter part of the evening or how we got home. I managed to raise my head off the pillow the following morning and the clock said 7.30. I told my mate and we said forget it and went back to sleep.

We were woken at 10 o'clock by continuous knocking at the door. I got myself off the bed and opened the door. It was the maid looking to clean the room. I asked her to give it a miss for one day. She was insistent - she didn't clean yesterday because she couldn't wake us up.

To cut a long story short: what I thought was 7.30 in the morning was in fact the evening. What I thought was 10 o'clock two and a half hours later, was in fact 12 and a half hours later the following morning. We had slept through a whole day and night of our holiday. And if it hadn't been for that maid I'm not sure at what point we would have realised. Probably when we would have been turfed out of our room a day early (in our world).

They were great lads those Celtic boys though.
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Coming from a Scotsman, great story mate.

You can imagine my Scottish mate who came to Australia the same year as 1 did back in 1981. We were both 15 at the time. We met in Brisbane as our sisters were friend back in the UK. They both worked with the Royal Horses at Holyrood Palace.

Anyway, me and my new mate just hit it off. Not sure how we didn't become alcoholics...or maybe we did. Boy did we have some sessions and stories of working free lance for Channel 10 at the Great Race. Bathurst 1000 V8 Supercars as pit reporters. That was one of the biggest weekends of my life in terms of substance intake.

Be prepared to set aside a few days if going for a wee drink with a Scot.
 
Gary Onedaysoon said:
Many years ago I went to Corfu with a mate. Early that evening we met some Celtic supporters and joined them in the mother of all sessions. Now we were both good drinkers in those days but this was a step up.

Neither of us knew anything about the latter part of the evening or how we got home. I managed to raise my head off the pillow the following morning and the clock said 7.30. I told my mate and we said forget it and went back to sleep.

We were woken at 10 o'clock by continuous knocking at the door. I got myself off the bed and opened the door. It was the maid looking to clean the room. I asked her to give it a miss for one day. She was insistent - she didn't clean yesterday because she couldn't wake us up.

To cut a long story short: what I thought was 7.30 in the morning was in fact the evening. What I thought was 10 o'clock two and a half hours later, was in fact 12 and a half hours later the following morning. We had slept through a whole day and night of our holiday. And if it hadn't been for that maid I'm not sure at what point we would have realised. Probably when we would have been turfed out of our room a day early (in our world).

They were great lads those Celtic boys though.
Click to expand...

On a not too dissimilar note, a lifelong Scottish friend and I hadn't seen each other for around 5 years; he'd been working abroad, so had I but we finally organised a get together with a few other friends/family up at Gleneagles; Golf for us, horse riding and advanced lessons for the ladies and daughters.

Had never played the course until then, which unfortunately just as we were about to play a wind picked up, a horrific wind, I lost 8 balls that day, the most I'd ever lost in one round in my life, the two Scottish friends pretty much the same, at the end of the game, the scores were horrible, and I mean horrible for all of us, we got in the restaurant/bar back at the hotel about midday, Scott my mate decided that we'd have some old very expensive scotches, the families were still out doing whatever, about 4p.m. I looked at my phone and saw (or couldn't see!) I'd missed around 14 calls, the other two the same.

We decided we were all in deep shite so, we'd stay in the bar, at around 8 p.m. when I knew none of us could understand each other anymore, Scott got up and went to find his room; he'd had enough, needless to say, he couldn't.

I went to bed, comatose.

Around midnight my wife was shouting at me to wake up (she'd left me to sleep it off) - Scott's wife was now furious and in a highly agitated state looking for him and couldn't find him, obviously, I had no idea where he was.

I was forced out of bed, bit by bit as we looked for him in the hotel, the panic was rising, now his wife had called the police, as someone said they saw him wandering about outside earlier in a drunken state!

Long story short; he was eventually found in the laundry room where he'd made himself a bed and was fast asleep and next to him were two dogs which no one owned up to knowing or owning! - he was completely naked.

His wife went nuts at him.

The next day, the three of us, Scott, me, and Duncan finally crawled downstairs at about 5 p.m. where we reviewed the bill for the day before; it ran into thousands.

Queue another meltdown by Scott's wife in front of around 200 guests - who as they heard all this, bit by bit got to know the full story before his wife stormed off still shouting at him - she really had lost the plot.

When she was far enough away, up stood Scott and loudly asked for everyone's attention and apologized very loudly to everyone and as he did so, offered everyone a drink - he also told a few jokes (not sure why). He had everyone in fits.

Finally, he made a toast to all the wives who had to put up with Husbands like him, by now he had everyone in stitches. When he'd done almost every man gave him a round of applause and as he stood up and bowed, his wife returned.

She stood there watched this gobsmacked and walked up to him and gave him a slap! As she muttered curse after curse under her breath.

Scott thanked her for the tickle and without missing a beat said "what would you like to drink, my love?"

She stared at him and just started laughing.

The whole room joined in.

We all got pissed again.

Madness, but great days.

Love Scotland and the mad Scots, some things never leave you.
 
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If I may be so bold EX, thats a very high end Scots night out EX, and I had the privilege of a few due to Computer Manufacturers taking me to various golf courses blah blah and hip flasks abounding on the round, before 'prize giving copious drink suppers' in bonny Scotland when I lived there!!

However it is a completely different world at the middle end nights out where you got for a quick swallah in your local up there and get chatting to locals and any one else in there and it turns into an unexpected session ...usually starting off quite sensible then ....well football colours emerge, and Gers and Celts supporters verbally fighting and thats before the nips arrive with the pints......and then the move to the local curry house at the bell..

...... then of course there are the low end situations where you are away in a different town/city and you stupidly go into the 'wrong pub' and find yerself unknowingly getting involved in a rund with locals only to find they are a mix of the local gadgers, nutters and alkies...feckin so so difficult to get outta their company .....alive!

As I inadvertently started this Scottish theme (great contributions by the way guys) I thought I would leave you with this joke......


This grocer in Fife is in ehs shoap n it's freezin cauld n ehs standin ower the electric-bar fire. A wifie comes in, looks at the counter n goes tae um...'is that yer Ayrshire bacon? The grocerlooks at her n says, naw, ah'm jist warmin ma hands.

Tadaaah
 
Good morning all , raining here Greavsie , not a lot , but rain it is . Started at ten to eight this morning. I got up at 7-30 and it was dry , and I thought , huh , so much for the forecast , then noticed the patio was wet at ten to eight .
So that’s my weather warning.
Use it as you will .
Should you need hourly updates, mate , I will do my best , No wind at the moment , not outside anyway .

Love the Scots stories , they have a lot to answer for . is there such a thing as a wee dram? . Ha ha .
Billy Connelly tells some fantastic stories about Glasgow life , walking home
after the pubs have shut , through the tenements , listening out for parties , banging on the door and saying “Jimmy said it was ok to come in .”
Brilliant .

I went up to the allotment yesterday afternoon, ...it was like a summers day . Beautiful , .....I had to come home a bit early sadly , as I cut my hand and it wouldn’t stop bleeding . , even through the plaster I put on . I was dripping blood everywhere , so thought , better to go home and sort it out , .... by the time I got home , it had stopped .
Bollox , I thought . .... so we watched Countdown on plus one .!
exciting times !

I had a filling partially fall out a few weeks ago , it was painful for a while but then seemed to sort itself out . , I’ve been left with a small hole that food continuously gets trapped in , which is a pain in the arse , or not , as the case may be !
Now it turns out that my wife has the same problem ......, not a pain in the arse ! but the tooth predicament .
Lo and behold , she phoned the dentist yesterday afternoon and we have adjoining appointments next week . Aint that sweet ! She’s first .

She also did the Census interrogation yesterday as well ! The things they ask . I can’t see how I could have changed my name , sex , colour , Beliefs , or any other stupid things they want to know , in the last ten years ! Maybe some people do , I don’t know .
They even ping up a banner , “ so you are 71 Walt , is that right ? “ .. kin ell ! What’s that about ! Of course it’s right . How they know I’m called Walt is a mystery though !

Does anyone know of a type of oil I can put in my car that doesn’t run out of its useful life exactly a year after it’s put in the engine .

I’m getting a reminder now ,, every time I turn the engine on , that the oil needs changing .
It’s absolutely amazing how the useful life of the oil goes down a percentage every day , whether I use the car or not . Go on holiday , (anyone remember that ?) , and when you come back the useful life has gone down Three percent . How does that happen ?

Exactly a year to the day I had the car serviced , the life of the oil run out , my oil has died ! Now it reminds me every time I turn it on .
kin Vauxhall’s want £240 for a service . Bugger that . I’ve only done six thousand miles in two years . I will have to phone around .

Any how , I think I’ve been rambling again .
stay safe everyone , keep alert , worthy
and distant .
look after each other. Not long now , don’t cut corners though .
still raining Greavsie , not a lot though .
 
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