Advice

villan49

Vital Squad Member
#1
Sooo you guys are like the yoda's of the real world and as most of you are older than me have probably seen and been through exactly what I am gong through right now well maybe not because you guys probz wouldn't have been as Stupid as i Was. so it only seems fit as my fellow villains that I come for advice from you, basically I moved in with a few very good friends 4 too be exact basically I lost my job and couldn't pay the rent instead of telling them this I just kept it to myself until rent day. They messaged me and called me asking where i was etc and I ignored them too ashamed to tell them the real reason as to why I was not there. and just left without a word I know this was the worst thing I could do now I live with my Nan and I have pretty much burnt every bridge possible with said friends, they now probably hate me which is quite understandable, I feel really bad about what I have done and kind of want to apologize etc for what I have done here comes the problem I am really proud so I struggle to say sorry even when I do wrong. Half of me wants to say sorry and half of me says no because as they say Pain is temporary pride is forever what do i do?
 

The Fear

A Wise Man (once sat next to him)
#2
Nothing to do with pride mate. You know you've done wrong. You do owe them an apology and if you can't say it, write it down.

Takes a man to admit he fucked up and make amends. You need to do this. You NEED to.

Clear the air. If they don't accept your apology, fair enough, you tried.

Never easy to say sorry but seriously, more people should learn to say it!

If you don't say anything, you've totally lost those friends. If you say sorry and explain properly, you may just gain their respect back and more importantly, retain them as mates.
 

BodyButter

Vital Football Legend
#4
Simmsy, mate, it pains me to say this but Fear is... What Fear says is... *cough* Fear .... No, I just can't say it.

Stop being a berk and go and apologise. What you are doing is silly and childish. You are a good lad. Just be honest with people.
 
#5
Have to do the right thing to be proud Simmsy, however difficult it might be.

As JF says, if you can't speak to them for whatever reason, you don't think it'll come out right or whatever, then write them a letter or an email where you can explain yourself clearly.
 

villan49

Vital Squad Member
#6
just goes to show fear is yoda in disguise. I feel it is time to say sorry as it has bee almost 2 months since it happened I will keep you posted on the out come thanks for the advice btw
 
#7
You are obviously worrying about what happened. I think if you bite the bullet and apologise etc you will feel much better about things.
 

kefkat

Vital Football Legend
#9
We all make mistakes! The only mistake is not learning from the 1's we make. You could have got rent help too with signing on.

The reason you are like perhaps I will leave it is ''fear'' not pride in the actual since, not JF. LOL

Write a simple short letter apologizing and use the word apologize rather than I am sorry. I apologize carries far more weight.

What will carry even more weight is saying you will pay them back at an affordable amount a week. Just send them it in the post if they don't want to see you.


Don't make excuses for what you did. Just say you lost your job, you were too ashamed to say anything and know you have made a mess want to apologize and make amends. Amends is paying the money back in installments.

Hope that helps and good luck
 

villan49

Vital Squad Member
#11
I Don't Want to make excuses for what I did. I would Just like to say I apologize for everything that has happed, I was too ashamed to say anything and know I have made a mess I really want to apologize and make amends. And would like to pay you back eventually when I get sorted, even if you don't want to speak to me again I guess giving you back what I owe is a start right? please pass this on to rob as he has deleted me thanks is what I came up with I stole a bit from kefkat
 
G

Guest

Guest
#12
Simmsy dude you are a young lad and what has happand to you losing your job has happand or can to anyone of us, i lost a job about 8 years ago for calling the gaffer a twat silly and stupid thing to do lol but we all make mistakes the longer you leave it to toell ya mates the more they will think lessof you,

Listen the Yoda Fear and co above and just tell them the truth don't try adding anything else to the reason you left them, if they are true mates they will understrand give ya a bollockin and forget about it,
 

upthevilla

Vital 1st Team Regular
#13
avfcsimmsy - 14/11/2012 17:32

...................And would like to pay you back eventually when I get sorted.................
I think you should offer to make whatever payment you can make now, not 'when I get sorted'. If I read that I'd think it was B.S. to be honest, BUT, if someone sent me a letter and said words to the effect of ' I'm skint as f***, but I'm so gutted about how I've treated you all that every penny I get that isn't spent on rent, bills etc is coming straight to you' I'd be a lot more inclined to respect them.
 

villan49

Vital Squad Member
#15
you really are wonderful people I really bless the day I signed up to this forum you are like eternal friends even thiugh I have never met most of you I guess it is time to bless the internet right :30: :30:
 
G

Guest

Guest
#16
Well simmsy no need to thank fellow Villans dude, your a Villan that means we are all the same Claret n Blue blood, we all drop a bollock in life ive made many mistakes, but at least you feel bad for doing something you should not have that alone is a good thing facing upto mistakles is hard as feck but you learn more for doing so ;)
 

SiggyBrownie

Vital Football Legend
#17
Well done. Don't make excuses just tell them the truth and I agree with starting to pay them back now, don't wait. Start to do it now and who knows you might be able to fix your friendship.
 

Heretic

Vital Reserves Team
#18
Fear is r-, uh, Fear is corre, ah, Fear is...

Forget it.

If they were your mates in the first place, they'll understand. I know it's tough on you and yes, there is always male pride to take account.

But you know you weren't a good mate to them at the time. It's not what you did that will cause a problem, it's the doing it and just dropping them afterwards. The dropping them is what gets to them.

In sum, it's the disrespect, not the deed.

You can get that respect back by saying you've treated them badly, there's a reason for it and could they give you sixty seconds of their time to let you explain it. Then explain it and apologize. Say you made a silly mistake. Say the reason you are doing this is because you value their friendship and your behaviour is troubling your conscience and you want to make amends by paying them back. Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness. It's tough, but everybody makes mistakes.

If they're mates worth having, I think they'll give you a hearing and probably call you a dummy. But you deserve that and you know it.

I suspect once you take the first step, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Plus you get some mates back too.

Good luck, young Villan.
 

kefkat

Vital Football Legend
#19
avfcsimmsy - 14/11/2012 17:32

I Don't Want to make excuses for what I did. I would Just like to say I apologize for everything that has happed, I was too ashamed to say anything and know I have made a mess I really want to apologize and make amends. And would like to pay you back eventually when I get sorted, even if you don't want to speak to me again I guess giving you back what I owe is a start right? please pass this on to rob as he has deleted me thanks is what I came up with I stole a bit from kefkat

Your welcome to steal it, which you didn't. I am glad my input was of use and you felt able to use it.

Yes what others have said: even if it only a few pounds a week, pay it to them. It shows them your honouring the debt you owe them

However they react to it you will feel better for doing the right thing

Good luck and let us know how you get on