HerrLjunga
Vital 1st Team Regular
This has all the makings of a pre-Christmas cracker, doesn't it? Woefully out of form league side against plucky non-leaguers? Check. Potentially lucrative Third Round tie on the line? Check. On national TV where our limitations can be brutally exposed to a wider audience missing World Cup football? Check. An attendance that would be seen as dismal for a Pizza Goblet game? Check. Manager clinging on for grim death in the face of overwhelming evidence that he's not up to the job? Check.
Welcome one and all to the shitshow that is Gillingham FC, where almost everything is missing, from goals scored to pies in the food kiosks to hope that this won't turn out to be the single worst season in the club's history by every margin that is possible to imagine. Wallow in the crapulence, it's truly magnificent in a sick sort of way. One thing that is not missing will be the new sleeve sponsor on our shirts this evening. That a company would actively choose to sully its own reputation by associating itself with the current iteration of GFC is a mystery I find hard to fathom.
Managerial excuses used so far this week include *checks notes* the departure of Nicky Shorey as Head of Recruitment and the appointment of someone Harris clearly doesn't want as his replacement, and a specific fan having a pop at him for our rotten second-half showing against Class of '92 FC on Saturday. I look forward to the latest installment of Excuse of the Day at approximately 9.15pm tonight. He's covered nearly everything so far in his tenure, players, the budget, fans, fitness, the budget, injuries, number of matches and the budget so it will be interesting to see what gets trotted out tonight if we succumb to the almost inevitable embarrassment.
Let's be honest, we're bloody fortunate (if you can view tonight in that manner) to even have this opportunity of a replay, Kashket with a last minute effort in the original game after our usual non-performance granted Dagenham a second opportunity to make us look utterly rank, this time on national TV no less, although thankfully it's tucked away on BBC Three and easy to bin in favour of that Harry and Meghan Netflix shit if things start to look suitably jank (coincidentally "Jank" will be the title of my new band's forthcoming debut album - bit of shameless self-promotion crowbarred in there).
Dagenham couldn't ask for an easier opponent for tonight's match, I did hear they tried to get a warm-up game booked in against Pegasus 81 U11s in the week, but the calibre of their strike force was deemed to be unrealistically high and unlike the threat they'd face this evening... The Daggers have played just the one game since the initial fixture, losing at home to bottom of the table Torquay, so they'll be pleased to have a more winnable game to follow that.
Off the pitch the madness continues. PDPS has apparently made a return to activity like some sort of Ghost of Christmas Past, sadly he's less likely to offer the chance of redemption than Dickens' spirit did. Our new squad come January will apparently be hand-picked by a bloke from the pool of talent on his own books and the Brian Moore Stand (surely the oldest object in the world to ever have the word "temporary" attached to it) may or may not have been condemned. Even if it has been condemned, it's still significantly less likely to fall over than Greenaldo when he miraculously finds himself in the penalty area.
Football on a Thursday night is a perverse and disconcerting thing, as is football at 1pm on a Sunday which is when our next bout of effluence will take place after we've done mopping up the tears from this evening. According to Nil, our league campaign "takes a breather" tonight...a breather...from what exactly? Taking kick-offs?
Anyway, I think I've used up my cynicism quota for this week, luckily it'll be full again by the time we face Bradford on Sunday for another thrilling installment where we again treat the final third of the pitch as though it's some form of Kryptonite.
If you're going to the game tonight, you have both my undying respect and pity. If you're watching on the tellybox, have a stiff drink to hand, in fact it's nearly Christmas, just grab the whole bottle. If you're ignoring it all in the hope that it will all go away, fair play to you.
COYG!
Welcome one and all to the shitshow that is Gillingham FC, where almost everything is missing, from goals scored to pies in the food kiosks to hope that this won't turn out to be the single worst season in the club's history by every margin that is possible to imagine. Wallow in the crapulence, it's truly magnificent in a sick sort of way. One thing that is not missing will be the new sleeve sponsor on our shirts this evening. That a company would actively choose to sully its own reputation by associating itself with the current iteration of GFC is a mystery I find hard to fathom.
Managerial excuses used so far this week include *checks notes* the departure of Nicky Shorey as Head of Recruitment and the appointment of someone Harris clearly doesn't want as his replacement, and a specific fan having a pop at him for our rotten second-half showing against Class of '92 FC on Saturday. I look forward to the latest installment of Excuse of the Day at approximately 9.15pm tonight. He's covered nearly everything so far in his tenure, players, the budget, fans, fitness, the budget, injuries, number of matches and the budget so it will be interesting to see what gets trotted out tonight if we succumb to the almost inevitable embarrassment.
Let's be honest, we're bloody fortunate (if you can view tonight in that manner) to even have this opportunity of a replay, Kashket with a last minute effort in the original game after our usual non-performance granted Dagenham a second opportunity to make us look utterly rank, this time on national TV no less, although thankfully it's tucked away on BBC Three and easy to bin in favour of that Harry and Meghan Netflix shit if things start to look suitably jank (coincidentally "Jank" will be the title of my new band's forthcoming debut album - bit of shameless self-promotion crowbarred in there).
Dagenham couldn't ask for an easier opponent for tonight's match, I did hear they tried to get a warm-up game booked in against Pegasus 81 U11s in the week, but the calibre of their strike force was deemed to be unrealistically high and unlike the threat they'd face this evening... The Daggers have played just the one game since the initial fixture, losing at home to bottom of the table Torquay, so they'll be pleased to have a more winnable game to follow that.
Off the pitch the madness continues. PDPS has apparently made a return to activity like some sort of Ghost of Christmas Past, sadly he's less likely to offer the chance of redemption than Dickens' spirit did. Our new squad come January will apparently be hand-picked by a bloke from the pool of talent on his own books and the Brian Moore Stand (surely the oldest object in the world to ever have the word "temporary" attached to it) may or may not have been condemned. Even if it has been condemned, it's still significantly less likely to fall over than Greenaldo when he miraculously finds himself in the penalty area.
Football on a Thursday night is a perverse and disconcerting thing, as is football at 1pm on a Sunday which is when our next bout of effluence will take place after we've done mopping up the tears from this evening. According to Nil, our league campaign "takes a breather" tonight...a breather...from what exactly? Taking kick-offs?
Anyway, I think I've used up my cynicism quota for this week, luckily it'll be full again by the time we face Bradford on Sunday for another thrilling installment where we again treat the final third of the pitch as though it's some form of Kryptonite.
If you're going to the game tonight, you have both my undying respect and pity. If you're watching on the tellybox, have a stiff drink to hand, in fact it's nearly Christmas, just grab the whole bottle. If you're ignoring it all in the hope that it will all go away, fair play to you.
COYG!
