Shouldn’t laugh | Page 140 | Vital Football

Shouldn’t laugh

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It was getting close to my wife’s birthday. She was looking at herself in the mirror. I asked her what she’d like for her birthday. She sighed and said I’d like to be ten again...

On the morning of her birthday. I woke up early and made her a nice big bowl of coco pops. I then took her to for a special trip to Legoland. On the way home we stopped at McDonald’s where I got her a Happy Meal together with a special McDonalds balloon.

We then went to the cinema where they were playing old Disney movies. I got her a large Slush Puppie iced drink and a bag of popcorn. After the movie we walked home in the rain. I got her to jump into the puddles. I then surprised her with a nice pink bunny rabbit birthday cake.

She was shattered as she fell into bed. “How was it being ten again” I asked thinking I’d smashed it. “I meant my dress size! You nutter” she replied.
 
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do."
"Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage."
"Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds."
"I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."
His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach."
" I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush,"
"Throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!' "
"She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"
 
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