How old is Apollyon?

[Apollyon]

I was walking down Whitehall the other day and I asked this fellow 'Excuse me, but which side is the War Office on? He said 'Ours I hope.''

 

[Apollyon]

I went to a charity disco last week in aid of a woman born with no legs. The dance floor was crawling in fanny.

 

[Apollyon]

Man comes home from pub and says to his wife: " Our postman was in the pub tonight and he was boasting about having slept with every woman in this street apart from one".
Wife answers..." Bet it's that miserable bitch from number 42, Mildred "

 

[Old Red Fart]

I knew it ! There's still life out there.

 

[AdebolaCornflakes]

I knew it ! There's still life out there.

Try this one on for size ORF...

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

 

[AdebolaCornflakes]

My grief counsellor died recently. Luckily he was so good that I didn't give a shit.

 

[AdebolaCornflakes]

This morning I went to a meeting of my premature ejaculators' support group. But it turns out that it's tomorrow.

 

[Apollyon]

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

 

[Apollyon]

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

 

[Apollyon]

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

 

[Apollyon]

Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

 

[Apollyon]

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

 

[Apollyon]

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

 

[Apollyon]

My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a compulsive liar but I don’t believe him.

 

[Apollyon]

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

 

[Apollyon]

JPs wife told him sex is better on holiday… that wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive from Estonia.

 

[Ingy]

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

Did she see Lionel dancing on the ceiling chap?

 

[Ingy]

My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a compulsive liar but I don’t believe him.

Yes that is unbelievable chap....was he imaginary chap?

 

[Ingy]

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

Congratulations chap!!!! Was it a church service chap?

 

[Ingy]

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

Yes chap and it's nearer to get some fisH cakes chap.