Hard & Fast Rules | Page 2 | Vital Football

Hard & Fast Rules

1. I do not dance. Ever. Same as Fear mentioned. Unless I'm suddenly 18 again high on E.
2. Don't put up with people's bullshit. I spent a large portion of my life putting up with twats. Never again. Ever. Makes me have less friends but thats ok because....
3. Have a small, trusted friendship group. Other than that. Trust no one.
 
The Fear said:
I also don't like to do, but have had to get better at it, small talk. Odd, as I can talk for hours (as deano will attest) and have no issue doing interviews on live tv etc, but I really am not the sort who naturally strikes up a 'what do you do' type of conversation.

I struck gold at Deano's wedding, ended up next to a lady I'd not met before, being a wedding, I thought I had to say something, so asked what she did. She was a criminal physiologist, so the conversation was brilliant, I had touched on it in my Gov/Politics degree in police and criminal justice section.

Another, recently, was on a plane. Lady sat opposite, I could tell she was the chatty sort, so went to put my ipod on. I was wincing in pain (I'd had an operation in Barcelona) and she asked if I was ok. Fine, blah blah blah. She said she'd got a disease, (oh fuck me I thought, here we go!) but it turns out the same rare brain aches that I have. What were the chances?! Ended up a good conversation!
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Strangers are friends you have not met yet.
 
The Fear said:
Yes, but I was also told 'wear that frown upside down' and I got tricked into smiling.
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True story, we were talking one day with my father in law who could be discribed as a little morose at times and Dawn just came out with "Your not really sad Dad its just God put your gob on upside down" I fell throug the floor.
 
DeanoVilla said:
Oh and in answer to the question, I don't think I do have any rules I can think of... I don't buy Apple products I suppose, but that's not so much a rule I just like value for money.

Otherwise I'm pretty flexible.
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Ohhh your missing out there Deano. Apple Sauce with Roast Pork...... and there's Apple Pie and Custard........ bloody brilliant man!
 
Heres my list

1/ What you see is what you yet. Take it, leave it, like it or do one.
2/ You got anything to say, say it to my face. Don't say behind my back what you aren't prepared to say to my face
3/ I'm comfortable in my skin today. I won't change me to make others comfortable
4/ I'm a married widow - don't try and tell me any different
 
Pride of Lions said:
Apple Sauce with Roast Pork......
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Thanks Pride, I was struggling to think of a hard and fast rule and you've nailed it for me:

NEVER, EVER have fruit and meat. Pork and apple sauce. Duck and orange or blackberry. Pineapple and ham on a pizza.

Just NO. NO. Not no way, not no how. NO!!!

Meat and fruit on the same plate is a disgrace and affront to human decency of the highest order.
 
Never answer the door.
If you want to see me (very rare someone does) have the decency to let me know before.
If people come unannounced I'm not answering.
Plus 99% of the time it's people trying to sell something or want something.
So sorry. Unless you've rung or text and we've agreed a time. That door isn't opening.
 
At work . Never volunteer for anything .

Good to go above and beyond in your area.

If it’s something they don’t want to do and should be doing themselves and you volunteer it will become your problem and they will get away with being lazy fcuks and blame you if it goes wrong.
 
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JuanPabloAngel said:
Thanks Pride, I was struggling to think of a hard and fast rule and you've nailed it for me:

NEVER, EVER have fruit and meat. Pork and apple sauce. Duck and orange or blackberry. Pineapple and ham on a pizza.

Just NO. NO. Not no way, not no how. NO!!!

Meat and fruit on the same plate is a disgrace and affront to human decency of the highest order.
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What about Bacon and Tomatoes in a fry-up?
 
If I hear the following songs the radio/music playing device will be switched off or over immediately.

Edwyn Collins - Girl like you ( absolute droning on and on drivel shite, she’ll be off if you are that miserable mate))

Dee Lite - Groove is in the heart - sounds like they all have Tourette’s

B52’s - Love Shack- what is the luuuuuuuuve shack (as the bloke sings)

ELO -any song . Hearing them just reminds me of THAT song
 
JuanPabloAngel said:
Thanks Pride, I was struggling to think of a hard and fast rule and you've nailed it for me:

NEVER, EVER have fruit and meat. Pork and apple sauce. Duck and orange or blackberry. Pineapple and ham on a pizza.

Just NO. NO. Not no way, not no how. NO!!!

Meat and fruit on the same plate is a disgrace and affront to human decency of the highest order.
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You obviously never encountered one of those hideous Vesta beef curries from the last century full of raisins, and out of a box.
 
Melon Donkey said:
If I hear the following songs the radio/music playing device will be switched off or over immediately.

Edwyn Collins - Girl like you ( absolute droning on and on drivel shite, she’ll be off if you are that miserable mate))

Dee Lite - Groove is in the heart - sounds like they all have Tourette’s

B52’s - Love Shack- what is the luuuuuuuuve shack (as the bloke sings)

ELO -any song . Hearing them just reminds me of THAT song
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Any George Ezra , Ed Sheeran or ELO song is banned from my radio.

Also I will never go to Aldi .
 
I love fruit in food. A nice chicken Dhansak. Ham & Pineapple Pizza, Chicken & Plum casserole, any biriyani with raisins in, and a nice rare steak with a banana on top (I made the last one up)
 
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