Happy Independence Day

col8

col8

Vital Football Legend
To our American friends on Vital have a great day....

1471200321_594.gif
 
I shall leave a copy of my Facebook post to my American freinds here:-

To all my American friends, following your treacherous declaration of 1776 and the subsequent successful sea blockade by our old enemy, the French, we have been forced to acknowledge your independence and subsequent economic growth, however, just like any other precocious unruly child, you have proved that you just can't be trusted yet, making friends with the neighbourhoods naughtiest children, in particular that snot nosed Korean kid. As a result, you will be pleased to know that, following the impending English FIFA world cup victory, we are prepared to welcome you back into the fold with just a few conditions, as follows:-
1. You will reinstate the letter "u" into words like "colour" and "flavour" (note the correct English spelling used here)
2. You will cease to ignore the second "i" when pronouncing the word "aluminium"
3. When referring to the game currently being exemplified by the dominant England team in Russia, you will use the traditional word, "football". Any other games currently described as such should be consigned to the history books, or if you really insist on continuing with such frivolous activity you should choose a more appropriate name, "Throw-ball" perhaps.
4. Your president will hand over power to Her Majesty's appointed governor, current favourites (note the use of the letter "u") for the post being Boris Johnson and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with your White House being renamed, "Her Majesty the Queen's American colonial residence", and your current House of Congress on Capitol hill will further more be known simply as "The governor’s residence"
5. Oprah and Dr Phil will immediately become peers of the realm and will be expected to relocate to England in order to take their rightful places in the House of Lords
6. Given her existing status within the Royal Family, Meghan Dutchess of Sussex will forthwith be known as Meghan Princess of America (after all, we have to give you something)
7. All America based (new) British subjects will learn the difference between "bring" and "take" and when to appropriately use them
8. See point number 7 regards the use of the words "me" and "I" in phrases such as "My wife and I" or "My wife and me"
9. Please note, "gotten" is not a word
10. On the same theme, the past participle of the word "drag" is "dragged", not "drug"
11. Finally, you will reinstate the traditional "s" that the reprobate Noah Webster replaced with "z" (which, incidentally is pronounced "zed" and not "zee", as you have erroneously thought for some time now) in words such as “patronise”
1f609.png
?
Happy 4th of July my friends!
Click to expand...
 
Happy Independence Day?........

I keep looking outta the fucking window expecting to see a huge bloody alien spaceship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
It was also my brother in laws birthday yesterday on independence day. I can confirm this happens every year :rotfl:
 
Im an expat, born in Guernsey, lived in Streetly, served in the army but feel more at home in US than UK. Can we leave out the anti American bollocks. I know most of you are doing it for a laugh but it grips my shit. Rant over
 
Melon Donkey said:
Bollox to that.

It's melon pooch's first birthday .:party::bday:

Somehow we made it through the first year.
Click to expand...

I expected better than that from you MD. I was born and bred in UK, served in the Royal Engineers but feel more welcome here than in my own country. Im a Brit, always will be a Brit, but as soon as i get a chance i will apply for citizenship. There should be something wrong with this picture but its stupid things like what you said which has made up my opinion. I agree with 99% of your post's but this isn't one. Between me and the US they've given me a better lifestyle and chances that i could never have in UK
 
Last edited:
Andy The Ray said:
I expected better than that from you MD. I was born and bred in UK, served in the Royal Engineers but feel more welcome here than in my own country. Im a Brit, always will be a Brit, but as soon as i get a chance i will apply for citizenship. There should be something wrong with this picture but its stupid things like what you said which has made up my opinion. I agree with 99% of your post's but this isn't one. Between me and the US they've given me a better lifestyle and chances that i could never have in UK
Click to expand...

Oh I get it 4th of July doubles up as April fools ?.
Must be because what you have put there is a joke Andy.

Do I really need to explain that my post was total tongue in cheek about my dogs birthday!?.

If that's offensive then we may aswell give up and go home.

Blimey what a start to the day .
 
Andy The Ray said:
Im an expat, born in Guernsey, lived in Streetly, served in the army but feel more at home in US than UK. Can we leave out the anti American bollocks. I know most of you are doing it for a laugh but it grips my shit. Rant over
Click to expand...
My post was anti pro slave owners and those who hid under the guise of the price of tea bags?
 
Perhaps he meant my "really serious" post? Intentions do get lost/confused over the internet.
 
Andy The Ray said:
Im an expat, born in Guernsey, lived in Streetly, served in the army but feel more at home in US than UK. Can we leave out the anti American bollocks. I know most of you are doing it for a laugh but it grips my shit. Rant over
Click to expand...


I love The U.S.A! well there are two things I don't like there, one is the ex (though I am happy for you to keep him) and the other is the president, however I think the majority will agree with that. No where is perfect. I don't get the anti-U.S bile and never have from many
 
I was once told that my English was so good that I could pass for an American.
That was in Chicago. The city. Not the musical.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.