bullying at school | Vital Football

bullying at school

My post was a deliberate wind up for the fans of Grammars on here, not a serious comment, just teasing.

On a serious note I'd take all these accounts with a bucketload of salt. I'm not saying it's lies or untrue but one does get distorted views from students/parents as to what has gone on and why certain decisions are made.

A classic I recall was a friend of my son (both at the school where I taught) claiming that he received a detention merely for accidentally dropping a pencil in class. Dad moaned at me about the school and moaned at the school itself. Couldn't believe his son was a pain in the a#se.

He moved to west of London and we met up a year later. Credit to dad. He admitted he now realised his son had been a little sh#t all along as he had the same problems in his new school.

Be wary if such accounts and don't prejudge the school, even though it's a Grammar :-)
 
my granddaughter age 13 was attacked at school , by a group of girls, for standing up for her friend. It was all filmed by others. My son took the film to the headteacher, she handled it brilliantly, calling in the other girls and their parents into school, and told them that such actions would not be tolerated. The girls have been suspended for a period, so hopefully they will learn their lesson.
 
The pledge said:
my granddaughter age 13 was attacked at school , by a group of girls, for standing up for her friend. It was all filmed by others. My son took the film to the headteacher, she handled it brilliantly, calling in the other girls and their parents into school, and told them that such actions would not be tolerated. The girls have been suspended for a period, so hopefully they will learn their lesson.
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Genuinely pleased at the outcome. Well done to your granddaughter for her principled stand and the school for dealing with it effectively.

As an aside I liked my former head's statement to parents. "We promise to believe just half of what they tell us about you if you promise to believe just half of what they tell you about us".
 
Gills 58 said:
As an aside I liked my former head's statement to parents. "We promise to believe just half of what they tell us about you if you promise to believe just half of what they tell you about us".
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Sounds like a hundred and eleventh birthday.
 
My mother once told me a story of when she & her young friends were often being stopped, in the mornings, on the way to school by a bully who demanded their sweets etc. Having had more than enough, my mother, who lived in the village shop, cunningly took some laxative (which was in the form of a chocolate bar), which the bully scoffed in its entirety & was consequently off school, sick, for a couple of days & afterwards never bothered the girls again !
 
My wife is an assistant head and some of the stories are frankly dire parenting pure and simple. Whilst the reasons for some of it could have been handled better and not all victims are as innocent as they make themselves out to be.

My own niece, complained she was being bullied. My sister kicked up a big fuss only to find out their darling daughter had been slagging the girl off behind her back in the first place not because she had done something but because my niece thought she didn't dress well enough for her liking which caused the incidence of bullying.

In the vast majority of cases of the problem is caused by lack of parental control or conditioning that being rude to staff at schools is ok.

It is not teacher's job to teach peoples' kids how to behave that's the parents job. Civility is the norm and some people think that doesn't apply to them.

My daughter is currently training to be teacher in a local school and one of the other trainees was told by a kid "I come from Luton Road I can do what the fuck I want and there is nothing you can do to stop me." Her mother agreed with the kid apparently when she was called up. How do you deal with that?
 
Spot on with your post. Sounds familiar.
Do your daughter a favour and encourage her to do something else. I speak from experience unfortunately. Well done to her for taking it on though. I wish her all the best.
 
rambolerambole said:
My daughter is currently training to be teacher in a local school and one of the other trainees was told by a kid "I come from Luton Road I can do what the fuck I want and there is nothing you can do to stop me." Her mother agreed with the kid apparently when she was called up. How do you deal with that?
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How do you deal with that? Well I'd make a point of putting her in the shit at school and teaching her a very clear lesson that actually she can't do what she wants. That's the best lesson she'll learn. Maybe she'd learn it once suspended, or expelled (if needs be - if she continues to misbehave).
 
alphabet_king said:
How do you deal with that? Well I'd make a point of putting her in the shit at school and teaching her a very clear lesson that actually she can't do what she wants. That's the best lesson she'll learn. Maybe she'd learn it once suspended, or expelled (if needs be - if she continues to misbehave).
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Or tell her she needs to go to school so she can work out how much to charge punters, and to make sure she isn't being ripped off by her dealer
 
Social media exchanges amongst school kids has got a lot to answer for. Bullying is not only physical but mental too.
 
PhilK66 said:
Social media exchanges amongst school kids has got a lot to answer for. Bullying is not only physical but mental too.
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Social media bullying is obviously huge these days. I dont doubt bullying happened offline 20 years ago, but it's so much easier now on social media, and probably less easily stopped.

Parents allowing their kids access to social media too early, and not monitoring their use is a key issue IMO. My son is 11 now, and has in the past year got a phone, which he does jobs around the house to pay for. We got him a phone on the very condition that we will be checking the use until we have confidence that he can use it appropriately. That means checking his browsing history, checking his messages he sends/receives from mates. Some of the things we've seen on his phone are amazing.

Yes it's a slight invasion of privacy, but he's young, still a child, and with the best will in the world may make mistakes - it's natural. I just want to make sure we are comfortable he is making those mistakes in a relatively controlled environment to start with, so it's not too late when he makes the mistake of replying to a fraud message, buying in app purchases etc, or being implicit in bullying, or anything else that could happen. We also have an app to control the usage of his phone. He has a maximum time limit per day which he has to do as he wants on his phone, after which the phone shuts down and he can only call us or emergency services on it.

I see the first year or so of him having it under our monitoring is just a learning experience for him. The alternative is that he doesn't have it at all, and he prefers having a phone under supervision than not having one at all. We used to check it every night, but now we check it far less often as we've built up greater confidence that he knows how to deal with situations that arise - maybe once a week or so now.

Fortunately there's only been a couple of minor incidents where I've had to have a word with him and speak with him about his use. This might have been sending on dodgy links, or sending chainmail type messages, or being in groups with people he didn't know and at one point we were quite happy to find he was also sticking up for others who I would say were being abused for no reason, and kicking the perpetrators out of the group, but also we had a conversation about the implications of this etc.

Some of the stuff from some of the other kids is shocking though. Many other parents must not check their kids phone's at all. I've seen racism, discussion over drugs, dodgy links shared, all sorts of crap chain mail, personal abuse to others all from 11 year olds in his year/classes. I just cannot believe some others don't monitor their kid's phone usage.

He's asked for access to instagram recently, but we've said no for now, as there's far too much potential for dodgy content on there.
 
alphabet_king said:
Social media bullying is obviously huge these days. I dont doubt bullying happened offline 20 years ago, but it's so much easier now on social media, and probably less easily stopped.

Parents allowing their kids access to social media too early, and not monitoring their use is a key issue IMO. My son is 11 now, and has in the past year got a phone, which he does jobs around the house to pay for. We got him a phone on the very condition that we will be checking the use until we have confidence that he can use it appropriately. That means checking his browsing history, checking his messages he sends/receives from mates. Some of the things we've seen on his phone are amazing.

Yes it's a slight invasion of privacy, but he's young, still a child, and with the best will in the world may make mistakes - it's natural. I just want to make sure we are comfortable he is making those mistakes in a relatively controlled environment to start with, so it's not too late when he makes the mistake of replying to a fraud message, buying in app purchases etc, or being implicit in bullying, or anything else that could happen. We also have an app to control the usage of his phone. He has a maximum time limit per day which he has to do as he wants on his phone, after which the phone shuts down and he can only call us or emergency services on it.

I see the first year or so of him having it under our monitoring is just a learning experience for him. The alternative is that he doesn't have it at all, and he prefers having a phone under supervision than not having one at all. We used to check it every night, but now we check it far less often as we've built up greater confidence that he knows how to deal with situations that arise - maybe once a week or so now.

Fortunately there's only been a couple of minor incidents where I've had to have a word with him and speak with him about his use. This might have been sending on dodgy links, or sending chainmail type messages, or being in groups with people he didn't know and at one point we were quite happy to find he was also sticking up for others who I would say were being abused for no reason, and kicking the perpetrators out of the group, but also we had a conversation about the implications of this etc.

Some of the stuff from some of the other kids is shocking though. Many other parents must not check their kids phone's at all. I've seen racism, discussion over drugs, dodgy links shared, all sorts of crap chain mail, personal abuse to others all from 11 year olds in his year/classes. I just cannot believe some others don't monitor their kid's phone usage.

He's asked for access to instagram recently, but we've said no for now, as there's far too much potential for dodgy content on there.
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Well done you. That's great parenting
 
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