New Year - New Start - Vital Villa

[The Fear]

Ladies and gentlemen and all those inbetween.

First off, thanks for the loyalty to Vital Villa. It is something neither myself or Mike ever take for granted.

But we are slightly concerned, after years of being proud of this friendly and welcoming forum, that - much like society - some things are getting a bit binary.

It is ok to debate, without name calling. It is ok to disagree but still respect the other view. If you don't respect the other view, you can at least try to understand the person behind that view and if that fails, put them on ignore.

We do not - and will not - tolerate becoming like Twitter.

We've always had banter here, people have rarely taken offence, because we have all known it is just that, banter.

So our request is if you really don't like another poster, put them on ignore. But before you do that, ask yourself, is there any harm being done? Some like to be miserable sods talking about rumours. So what? Some are ultra positive no matter what, that can be as 'annoying' but... so what? It takes all the characters to make a forum - a pub - a club - a society.

And ask yourself, if you are really wound up by someone you don't know (here, on the awful social media, in a pub/club) then isn't the problem partly with you? Why let it wind you up?

There are also some who are making up arguments to suit whatever their agenda is, whether it to be right, or to belittle, or whatever the hell it is. Things like the Southgate posts in the WC thread. No one said he was a genius, no one really wanted him in the job, but anyone daring to say anything positive or supportive, was shot down. Like the Gerrard thread. Not sure anyone was that excited by him coming, some were dead against, others like myself, thought sod it, it might work. It didn't.

Again.

So what?

This is meant to be fun. Largely it is fun. But I think we will start banning and treating those who can't take a step back and get back to the banter, like babies and put in the silly 1 and 2 week bans. Everything we have always fought against doing.

Oh and if there are any ex members reading, who want a second chance, feel free to re-join, pm me to tell me, and off we go.

Much like family, and for some of us who have a lot of time on their own through ill health or whatever, this is a sort of mad family, at times you will love it, other times it will annoy you, but surely we as a community must be doing something right, because we all keep coming back.

Thanks to all the posters, new and old (some great new additions this year btw) and to those of you who lurk, read and hopefully laugh along with us.

Oh and I think I might freeze some of the threads in Off Topic quicker, if they start to get too serious, too right/left - wrong/right. We aren't really hear to do make the judgements.

And I think it is only fair if people are putting up an argument as fact, that they back up the argument with links or proof of their thinking (not unknown arses calling themselves influences on twitter) or just admit, it is their own argument and not try to dress it up as anything else.

And most importantly

1) FA Cup please

2) Have a happy, healthy, New Year... whether you are one of my favourite posters, most treasured regulars, or people I have locked horns with.

New Year, New Start.

Same shit, different day will = us taking action and with the pressure I'm under with brain aches, family health and a very decent work life at the moment, - and other mods having their own issues/stresses/lives - that really wouldn't be fair.

Peace and love.

VTWD

UTV


MF can add his thoughts into this and then we can open it up.

 

[mike_field]

And for my twopenneth worth now I'm sober again.

It's been a strange few years for everyone, and putting it bluntly, that frustration and anger has started coming out more and more on the forum and maybe we (as owners) should've moved quicker to nip it in the bud - but you all know we prefer gentle nudges, being light touch and just letting debates and arguments play out, until folks find their own resolution. At the end of the day, we're only here because we love the Villa and then we've become mates.

But the nudges aren't working anymore and whether people realise it or not, the forum reflects on us two out in the wider world.

I think we have both made it clear recently we aren't happy with trends that have developed, and I fully accept JF can be a bit more subtle in showing that than I am and I also accept my rants don't always hit the spot, because I now get angry at how things have changed and just splurge in frustration - mainly because you lot are considered mates so I don't want to overly individually criticise, but too many are now saying things that are just unacceptable.

I otherwise echo everything JF has said - it's time for people to listen now. We don't want it to come to bans, but ultimately if people disagree with how the forum is run, folks are free to find another one that will allow them to say, and behave, in a way we won't because we never did and the nudges used to work.

Disagree by all means on topics, but there is a way of doing it without childish insults taking over, if folks can't find a common ground, we are still free to agree to disagree and that applies just as much to more serious chats in Off Topic as it does dissecting Villa. Nobody should be falling out over an opinion.

The point scoring and digging out individual members across unrelated threads is something that has grown as well, it wasn't allowed before, we haven't changed the rules - some might think they are being funny, but it's pathetic and I'm sick to death of reading it. People can disagree on managers, players and so on without it becoming a little schoolboy game.

If after all these years people don't realise we all see the same game slightly differently and a players contribution slightly differently without needing to draw a line in the sand in an effort to 'prove' they are right, then maybe Twitter is more for you now and not a forum where the entire deal is you are supposed to debate, have a laugh and some banter and not just ignore the point and trade insults.

On a similar point, if you do have some members on ignore, stop trying to be clever by making a point of referencing them because you haven't won an argument, you're just annoying people who have wasted their time thinking the post would add something to a chat.

Again, as JF alluded to, it's one thing using a random Tweet for transfer rumours, but for real supposed news and especially Off Topic chats that are more serious, make them a reliable known name or a real outlet so people can check and learn more for themselves before forming an opinion. Same goes for news, provide a URL - we can't reprint whole stories and often people want to find out more and an opening paragraph, just like a random Tweet repeating a claim with no substance, helps nobody.

Finally, the only thing I'll say is not every thread is going to be for everyone. If there's a topic people don't like and there's nothing constructive to add, stay out of it and let others enjoy it. I largely stay out of threads to do with other sports unless I stumble over some news I think others might like, I wasn't watching the World Cup so whilst it was being played I rarely posted, as what did I gain by doing nothing more than irritating other members because they liked something I didn't. And moreover, who am I to dictate what other people should enjoy.

If it's not for you, stay out and leave others to it, just the same as by all means offer a counter view on a player in response to criticism or praise levelled but don't make it a running battle and turn it personal - we don't have to agree with and share every opinion that gets aired.

None of the above is new, it was what you all signed up to, so let's start remembering it eh and all getting back to enjoying it without the childishness and the 'only my opinion counts' battles that has crept in recently.

I get annoyed at politics and I share my annoyance to the amusement of quite a few on here but I'm bored of getting wound up by simply reading my own forum now.

We all have things going on, this place should be an escape where we mainly have a laugh and not be a place that adds to stress levels.