Arse wipes | Page 2 | Vital Football

Arse wipes

TBH, that has to be one the worst 'major' final witnessed ever. No atmosphere, empty looking stadium, huuuge distance between pitch and fans, shite camera work/positions, compounded by, what I thought was badly choreographed presentation. No fanfare as if the confetti machine broke down and the lighting/fireworks was a disaster.

here's hoping for a better serving in THE major European final!....COYS!
 
Critical_Spur said:
TBH, that has to be one the worst 'major' final witnessed ever. No atmosphere, empty looking stadium, huuuge distance between pitch and fans, shite camera work/positions, compounded by, what I thought was badly choreographed presentation. No fanfare as if the confetti machine broke down and the lighting/fireworks was a disaster.

here's hoping for a better serving in THE major European final!....COYS!
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What did you expect in a Chelsea vs Arsenal game?
 
Arse wipes are in meltdown; I'm loving every response I get to my 'hard luck' mate messages....Believe it or not, we've been lifelong friends but this little exchange almost made me wet myself:

Me: "Hard lines *****, you almost gave them a game, can't believe that you crumpled so badly in second half, you really look like a team who doesn't know how to defend, anyway, see you Saturday, hope you've recovered by then."

"F**k off, you spud. We're f**ked, we've got a shit manager who knows shit about defending, shit management that has screwed up and lost our best players and have got the f**king cheek to charge me an extra £65 more for my season ticket to watch this shit. We're probably going to lose the only two top players we have who aren't shit. And they're telling us we've got f**k all money to spend on getting in more shit. They've turned us into a shit Europa team that I can't see changing and worst of all I can't help thinking the Spuds have become the no.1 team in London, but have no f**king idea how. Shit shit shit shit. I'm so f**king pissed off"

Me: "sounds like you're really in the shit, couldn't wish it on a better club"

Him: "F**k off and never speak to me ever again. See you at ******* engagement party Saturday. I hope you lose and that you are shit, if you do win , don't speak to me I might even never speak to you again. What time we teeing off Sunday? I might give it a miss if you win because I won't be able to cope with that smug look on your face, besides I'm so down I'll probably play shit".


I could put up a few others, but I'm still enjoying the banter on this one and laughing myself silly....
 
Spursex said:
Arse wipes are in meltdown; I'm loving every response I get to my 'hard luck' mate messages....Believe it or not, we've been lifelong friends but this little exchange almost made me wet myself:

Me: "Hard lines *****, you almost gave them a game, can't believe that you crumpled so badly in second half, you really look like a team who doesn't know how to defend, anyway, see you Saturday, hope you've recovered by then."

"F**k off, you spud. We're f**ked, we've got a shit manager who knows shit about defending, shit management that has screwed up and lost our best players and have got the f**king cheek to charge me an extra £65 more for my season ticket to watch this shit. We're probably going to lose the only two top players we have who aren't shit. And they're telling us we've got f**k all money to spend on getting in more shit. They've turned us into a shit Europa team that I can't see changing and worst of all I can't help thinking the Spuds have become the no.1 team in London, but have no f**king idea how. Shit shit shit shit. I'm so f**king pissed off"

Me: "sounds like you're really in the shit, couldn't wish it on a better club"

Him: "F**k off and never speak to me ever again. See you at ******* engagement party Saturday. I hope you lose and that you are shit, if you do win , don't speak to me I might even never speak to you again. What time we teeing off Sunday? I might give it a miss if you win because I won't be able to cope with that smug look on your face, besides I'm so down I'll probably play shit".


I could put up a few others, but I'm still enjoying the banter on this one and laughing myself silly....
Click to expand...

I won't be able to cope with that smug look on your face

Yep that is so you. :lol:

If we do win I want to see more of the message exchanges between you two.
 
Next one (another lifelong mate):

Me: 'haven't heard from you this week, you ok?'

him: "f**k off".

Me: "What's up?"

him: "F**k off"

Me: "now now that's not very nice, it's only football"

him: "F**k off, you f**king Y*d"

Me: "Shall I get the club captain to scrub you from the Sunday morning roll-ups now?"

him: "why?"

Me: "well you'll be playing every Sunday now you're in the Europa yet again, you won't be able to make it"

him: " f*8k off!!"

Me: LOL!!
 
Matic said:
Ex... what a WUM :rofl:

I loved the inner conflict of your first mate "fuck off never speak to me again... what time we teeing off Sunday... actually I might not turn up"
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Seriously, he is in bits - his wife rang me last night and almost begged me to lay off him as they've had a massive row over it all, she said something like 'grow up, it's just a game" and he lost it, then he stormed out down the local, we were there and gave him some more - he left almost in tears; we destroyed the arse wipes non stop as he drank his one and only pint before running away.

Three Spurs loving mates took that as a green light to really lay it on. He's not answering any texts/whatsapps at all now. Tomorrow morning he's getting a delivery from Tottenham's online shop. My mate will be there having breakfast and picking him up for a four-ball; he's going to try and film the reaction as he opens the box and finds a COY Spurs mug.

Life's too short not to be cruel to arse wipe fans.
 
Captain Obvious strikes again!!!!!!

John Bercow is a Gooner.
 
LOL!!

Daily Mail: "
  • Staff at Arsenal's Emirates Stadium have been sent for extra training on pest control after Sportsmail revealed the venue had been hit by an infestation of mice."
Another word for the pests....deserters?!
 
Spursex said:
Arse wipes are in meltdown; I'm loving every response I get to my 'hard luck' mate messages....Believe it or not, we've been lifelong friends but this little exchange almost made me wet myself:

Me: "Hard lines *****, you almost gave them a game, can't believe that you crumpled so badly in second half, you really look like a team who doesn't know how to defend, anyway, see you Saturday, hope you've recovered by then."

"F**k off, you spud. We're f**ked, we've got a shit manager who knows shit about defending, shit management that has screwed up and lost our best players and have got the f**king cheek to charge me an extra £65 more for my season ticket to watch this shit. We're probably going to lose the only two top players we have who aren't shit. And they're telling us we've got f**k all money to spend on getting in more shit. They've turned us into a shit Europa team that I can't see changing and worst of all I can't help thinking the Spuds have become the no.1 team in London, but have no f**king idea how. Shit shit shit shit. I'm so f**king pissed off"

Me: "sounds like you're really in the shit, couldn't wish it on a better club"

Him: "F**k off and never speak to me ever again. See you at ******* engagement party Saturday. I hope you lose and that you are shit, if you do win , don't speak to me I might even never speak to you again. What time we teeing off Sunday? I might give it a miss if you win because I won't be able to cope with that smug look on your face, besides I'm so down I'll probably play shit".


I could put up a few others, but I'm still enjoying the banter on this one and laughing myself silly....
Click to expand...
And then what happened?
 
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