Would you rather....

Gazgecko

Vital Youth Team
#1
I play this fairly regularly when drinking. It's very simple, give people a choice, each of which has pros and cons. They simply choose their preference; there has to be a degree of dilemma involved, no point saying would you rather doink Cheryl Cole or Jessica Alba, either one is acceptable so it doesn't really work (also it's incredibly sexist and er demeaning and that...)

First one...

Would you rather have a cat that could talk or a dog that could drive?

Answers on a postcard
 

Villa_Grizzly

Vital Squad Member
#2
A cat who can talk
Reason: If he's intelligent enough to hold conversation surely he has a chance at learning to drive, if we can adapt the steering column to four paws that is.
 

Gazgecko

Vital Youth Team
#4
Thanks Grizzly. But...talking cats really?...if cat can talk, and it can therefore learn to drive is it not reasonable to suspect that they then might take over the world? Talking cats are just sinister. Defo a driving dog for me...no need for a designated driver ever again...
 
G

Guest

Guest
#6
Cats piss and shit on my gardens and all they do is piss off all day anyway, my staffie Duke luvs em he actually really luvs em enough to chase them off for me lol

A dog that could drive would surely be cleaver enough to learn to talk anyway and a dog is loyal faithful and harder than a cat!
 

Gazgecko

Vital Youth Team
#7
And, Clive, cats are simply tolerant of humans until someone invents cat food that can be opened by a cat. And then we're all fucked. Stick with chauffeur dogs I say.
 
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Guest

Guest
#8
Gazgecko - 3/6/2013 21:51

And, Clive, cats are simply tolerant of humans until someone invents cat food that can be opened by a cat. And then we're all fucked. Stick with chauffeur dogs I say.
:1: :19: Luv'd this dude :19:
 

James06

Vital Football Legend
#9
I wouldn't want a talking cat even if they were freely available. Can you imagine it?!! "he was having a wank to Sarah beeny's restoration last night" "he used your posh moisturiser on his ball bag" "he paid the kid next door to do the housework and went down the pub" blah blah fucking blah. I hate cats anyway, imagine theyd be right gossipy little shits if hey could talk, swanning round the neighbourhood like they do, spreading all sorts of shit.

Whereas a talking dog would be great, mans best friend and that. " no problem chief, you have yourself a wank I'll leave you to it mate, take your time, just give us a biscuit and I'll sit out he back and keep guard."

A driving dog would be ace, take em down the pub (where they'd be happy anyway having a sniff about) then free safe lift home, and it would be brilliant for all these rural folk and struggling country pubs.

 
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Guest

Guest
#10
James06 - 3/6/2013 23:20

I wouldn't want a talking cat even if they were freely available. Can you imagine it?!! "he was having a wank to Sarah beeny's restoration last night" "he used your posh moisturiser on his ball bag" "he paid the kid next door to do the housework and went down the pub" blah blah fucking blah. I hate cats anyway, imagine theyd be right gossipy little shits if hey could talk, swanning round the neighbourhood like they do, spreading all sorts of shit.

Whereas a talking dog would be great, mans best friend and that. " no problem chief, you have yourself a wank I'll leave you to it mate, take your time, just give us a biscuit and I'll sit out he back and keep guard."

A driving dog would be ace, take em down the pub (where they'd be happy anyway having a sniff about) then free safe lift home, and it would be brilliant for all these rural folk and struggling country pubs.
:1: :19: Dude ya killed me, yet again i need a puff of my inhaler through laffin too much, there is loads of quotes for the haal of fame here Mr Fear :19:
 

BodyButter

Vital Football Legend
#12
I'm with Jimmy. You have to listen to enough shit from with wife. A talking cat would be worse. A driving dog; ace! You could snooze on your way to work. No more drunk driving. Lovely.
 

ASPINALL

Vital Champions League
#14
I'd go with the Dog as all cars should be fired into space.

But they'd get fat big time if they all started driving.
 

thefacehead

Vital Football Hero
#16
A driving dog could still be problematic, say on the way home from the pub you were pulled over, no copper is going to believe your dog was driving so you'd still get done.

I prefer cats anyway, so a talking cat would be funny but I'm sure they would just whinge about being fed.

I could sell the cat, so cat it is then!
 

The Fear

A Wise Man (once sat next to him)
#18
I've had a dog or two drive me places over the years (Don's had worse)

Talking cat, they'd probably only moan so I don't think I'd like either option thank you!
 

Gazgecko

Vital Youth Team
#20
James06 - 3/6/2013 23:20

I wouldn't want a talking cat even if they were freely available. Can you imagine it?!! "he was having a wank to Sarah beeny's restoration last night" "he used your posh moisturiser on his ball bag" "he paid the kid next door to do the housework and went down the pub" blah blah fucking blah. I hate cats anyway, imagine theyd be right gossipy little shits if hey could talk, swanning round the neighbourhood like they do, spreading all sorts of shit.

Whereas a talking dog would be great, mans best friend and that. " no problem chief, you have yourself a wank I'll leave you to it mate, take your time, just give us a biscuit and I'll sit out he back and keep guard."

A driving dog would be ace, take em down the pub (where they'd be happy anyway having a sniff about) then free safe lift home, and it would be brilliant for all these rural folk and struggling country pubs.

Mate, you've just summed it up perfectly. As Clubpaver says: cats are wankers!