Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes | Vital Football

Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

muttley

muttley

Alert Team
Good news everyone. I've been invited to take a new admin role at the weekly football operations meeting between Levy, Fabio, Nuno etc that takes place on Fridays at 10am. That will include important topics like org changes, 1st team matches, transfers etc.

Vital Spurs has exclusive rights to have those minutes published each week. It is part of the new Voice of the Customer (VoX) approach to rebuild the transparency and trust between the club's leadership and the fans.

You have Ex and his internal club contacts to thank for my new, evolving role at the club. See below my first update. This obviously puts all of you “In The Know” so I would ask that you keep this information private and the piss taking to a manageable level. Daniel Levy will be personally monitoring this thread and if any of you step out of line, it will be closed by 80 in about 30 seconds flat.
 
Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

Date: Friday, 23rd July 2021 10am

Attendees:

Daniel Levy, Fabio Patricio, Nuno Espirito-Santo, Ryan Mason, Steve Hitchen, Ledley King

Minutes of the meeting:
Daniel asked if we could just give him another minute or so because he didn’t have his spreadsheet open yet. Everyone silently nodded. Fabio stepped out for a call on his mobile.

Meeting formally commenced: 10:05am

Org Changes at THFC
Fabio shared an update with the group that Chris Perkins will probably be joining as “Head of Emerging Talent”. He asked that everyone calls him “Chris’ rather than “Perky” and asked that nobody comments on his pink complexion.

Fabio also shared that he’s also considering bringing in a short-term contractor role that will be “Head of Submerging Talent” as he feels the top end of the squad needs a strong focus in that area.

Everyone unanimously agreed.

First Team Matches
Nuno shared with the group that the first pre-season game against Leyton Orient was a tough match and he was happy with a draw considering he used 14 centre halves, no full-backs and only 6 first teamers. Maksim Patkotsi was Nuno’s MoM and will continue to be mentored by former player Bunjevjevic who apparently has never left the club.

After his poor pass that led to Orient’s goal, Troy Parrott hasn’t stopped apologising to his teammates. Nuno advised him not to come so deep in the next game and play on the shoulder of the last defender. After hearing about Dane’s goal, Daniel updated his players tab on his spreadsheet.

In the second pre-season match against Colchester on Weds, Fabio had allowed Nuno to do a quick detour to Clacton on the way to the ground and treat the squad to a pre-match meal of fish and chips and a walk on the beach. Eric Dier was caught minesweeping for any leftovers from his teammates after telling them he was the new captain. Apparently, Nuno had said it in Portugese and he was the only one that understood.

As for the game itself, Nuno was able to field a slightly stronger side with Skipp and Sonny back. A comfortable, boring 3-0 win. Nuno mentioned to the team that he suspects Maksim has had a bet with his teammates. He’s now played 2 games in the 1st team at right back and hasn’t kicked the ball over head height once. Something is amiss.

Nuno asked Fabio when he was allowed to select a bunch of “other” players including Tanguy, Matt, Reggie and Ryan. Fabio promised him that it is important none of them get injured, but will hopefully release a couple back for the next game. That should keep the press guessing, especially if Winksy and Dier don’t play.

Transfer Activity
Fabio shared with the group that he had now a shortlist of 99 centre halves in Europe that were better than what we currently saw last season. Unfortunately, most don’t want to play for us, but he’ll still keep working through the list.

Nuno asked when he was likely to see any new faces in 1st team training. Fabio confirmed that Ben and Joe were back next week, Sonny had signed a new contract and Gollini had joined on loan. Nuno restated the question and asked when he was expecting to actually see new purchases. Fabio confirmed that it would be very soon and he was just waiting for Daniel to make a couple of “final negotiation” calls to chairmen of other clubs. Daniel encouraged the entire group to be patient as 31 August is still 6 weeks away and every penny counts.

Fabio confirmed that he’d brought a list of amazing homegrown players from his Juventus days to THFC and was looking to bring a few in. Daniel complimented Fabio on his due diligence. Ryan had to explain the difference between a Serie A homegrown and an EPL homegrown. Fabio looked genuinely confused before asking Steve to go and get his list of targets he shared with him on his first day in charge.

Nuno once again offered the services of his good friend Jorge who had got him some amazing players at Wolves. Fabio declined and told the group that everything was under control. He mentioned that transfer would be the big conversation in next week’s meeting. He is quietly confident next week is the big week.

Fabio’s mobile rung and he mentioned to the group that he had to take it. It was apparently someone from Atalanta. Unfortunately, none of us understand Italian but as expected there was a lot of passionate shouting followed by a bunch of nervous laughing.

Daniel mentioned that now he had more time on his hands he’d been watching the Olympics. He encouraged Fabio to take a look at Brazil’s young right back, Dani Alves, who may have gone under the radar of most other club’s scouting systems.

Any Other Business

New Pin Code for The Lodge Barrier:
Fabio confirmed that everyone in football operations should have received an SMS with the new code to get into the training ground. Daniel mentioned that he hadn’t received his. Awkward silence.

Harry Kane update:
Ledley confirmed that he’d got a WhatsApp from Peter Crouch saying that he had lost to Kane at golf. The good news, Harry had managed to play in the heat for 4 hours without needing a sit down. The bad news, the other 2 in the fourball were Foden and Stones. Daniel confirmed that he’d sit down with Harry at The Lodge and have lunch with him when he’s back. He’s confident he can talk him into staying as he’s like a son to him. More awkward silence before Fabio mentioned to Daniel that they could take it offline.

New Shirt:
Daniel complimented everyone on another great job with the new shirt release. Nuno mentioned that Dier and Tanguy weren’t too keen on it and he’d heard other rumblings in the squad. Daniel said they would grow into liking it.

Meeting concluded 11am
 
Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

Date: Friday, 30th July 2021 10am

Attendees:

Daniel Levy, Fabio Patricio, Nuno Espirito-Santo, Ryan Mason, Ledley King

Minutes of the meeting:
Daniel asked if everyone could just give him one more minute. He was just in the process of completing a complex pivot table in MS-Excel. Fortunately, Ryan stepped in and spotted that Daniel was summing the players ages and not their transfer values. That explained why the total looked overstated.

Meeting formally commenced 10:05am

First Team Matches
Everyone congratulated Nuno on another win in the pre-season game against MK-Dons. Nuno said that he was happy to have 10 first teamers available but will need more if we are to get anything out of our London rivals in the forthcoming Mind Series. Nuno also mentioned that he offered Hugo a chance to play the second half, but the Spurs captain refused, stating that he was waiting for an important text from a Mr Kovac in Monaco. Daniel asked what’s it all about? Fabio said that we need to take more than we give, rather than just be kind, and Alfie had a blinder anyway. He was Nuno’s MoM.

Apparently, there had been some confusion why Troy Parrott didn’t get on the team bus on the way home. He was last seen after the match having a pint of Guinness with Irishman Warren O’Hora and a couple of other Dons players. They were singing Snoop Dogg songs at Charlie Brown. Fabio said that as soon as he realised, he got on his mobile and sorted it with the MK Dons chairman. Troy won’t be returning for a while.

Nuno said that the biggest test of his new squad would be on Weds at Stamford Bridge. He said his tactic was to let Mason Mount run around a lot and not bother marking him. The entire squad is hoping that Rudiger plays.

Transfer Activity
Fabio mentioned that last week had been very successful for the club. Not only had we sold old boys Toby and Coco, but we’d signed our new messiah, Bryan Gil. Additionally, goalkeeper Gollini also coming in on loan.

Daniel mentioned that homegrown Bryan is going to be an absolute star and he’s already in talks with Amazon to make a film about his life at Spurs. Ryan had to once again explain the English FA rules to everyone who had naturally assumed that having a name like Bryan qualified him as homegrown.

Daniel also mentioned that as Coco had left, he might be able to move 20% of the medical budget back over to the transfer and player’s salaries budget in the future. Just need to see first whether Gio and Sess can show some resilience.

Finally, Daniel mentioned that goalkeeper Orlando Bloom would be back from Austin this coming week. He had personally poached him from Fulham in 2015. Daniel advised Nuno and Fabio to have a good look at him as he is better than Alfie. Ryan mentioned that it was actually Brandon Austin who had been playing in Orlando that was coming back. He had previously been at Chelsea as a youngster.

Nuno expressed concerns that we needed to bring in a couple of defenders if we are to avoid relegation. Fabio mentioned that Ledley would be running a specific training session at the fans open day on Saturday. Apparently, there were some centre halves bringing their boots from some great Sunday pub sides including Dirty Dicks and Ye Olde Fighting Cock. Ledley would put them through their paces and advise whether he thinks they are better than what we currently have in the squad. Both Ledley and Fabio are confident.

Fabio also mentioned that he has now all but signed Tomiyasu and is trying to get him to leave early as he's suspended and they'll lose to Spain anyway. Daniel interjected and confirmed that their number 1 priority is Romero and he promises to have it completed by 10pm, 31st August. Fabio challenged Daniel to a fiver bet that it would be done within the next 10 days before the league opener.

With regards to the outgoing players, Fabio said that all of the players without a future at the club have been informed. The one exception is Sissoko, where Fabio is waiting for the right moment to tell the very emotional big guy that he needs to go. They did deactivate the access card for his old room at The Lodge but apparently Jose had given him one of the master keys for all rooms. It was part of a previous security arrangement where Mousa used to protect Jose from guys like Dele who was going to beat the shit out of him in the middle of the night.

Nuno asked Fabio whether Harry Kane would be with the rest of the lads in training next week. Fabio mentioned that Harry had told him he was flying into Manchester Airport from the Bahamas as it was cheaper. He also mentioned that due to COVID protocols Harry would be quarantining in the penthouse suite of the Hyatt Regency in Manchester for a couple of weeks. Harry did mention that him and his brother were available for Zoom calls though.

Summarising, Fabio assured the team that all transfer activity is completely under control. He asked for patience but emphasised that the club are going to have a transformational August. He expects 1, maybe 2 deals to close this coming week. Ryan and Ledley said they do not recommend to Fabio buying 7 new players. From experience, they recommend buying either 6 or 8, but not 7.

Any Other Business

Access to the Lodge
Daniel mentioned that he still couldn’t get into The Lodge. His old pin code doesn’t work and he has repeatedly asked for a new one. Additionally, the security guard at the front gates keeps telling him that everyone has to have a printout of a valid PCR test to come into The Lodge with no exceptions. Awkward silence in the room before Fabio mentioned that this was a Football Operations meeting and that he should probably bring it up in his other management meetings at Lilywhite House.

Meeting concluded 11am
 
muttley said:
Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

Date: Friday, 30th July 2021 10am

Attendees:

Daniel Levy, Fabio Patricio, Nuno Espirito-Santo, Ryan Mason, Ledley King

Minutes of the meeting:
Daniel asked if everyone could just give him one more minute. He was just in the process of completing a complex pivot table in MS-Excel. Fortunately, Ryan stepped in and spotted that Daniel was summing the players ages and not their transfer values. That explained why the total looked overstated.

Meeting formally commenced 10:05am

First Team Matches
Everyone congratulated Nuno on another win in the pre-season game against MK-Dons. Nuno said that he was happy to have 10 first teamers available but will need more if we are to get anything out of our London rivals in the forthcoming Mind Series. Nuno also mentioned that he offered Hugo a chance to play the second half, but the Spurs captain refused, stating that he was waiting for an important text from a Mr Kovac in Monaco. Daniel asked what’s it all about? Fabio said that we need to take more than we give, rather than just be kind, and Alfie had a blinder anyway. He was Nuno’s MoM.

Apparently, there had been some confusion why Troy Parrott didn’t get on the team bus on the way home. He was last seen after the match having a pint of Guinness with Irishman Warren O’Hora and a couple of other Dons players. They were singing Snoop Dogg songs at Charlie Brown. Fabio said that as soon as he realised, he got on his mobile and sorted it with the MK Dons chairman. Troy won’t be returning for a while.

Nuno said that the biggest test of his new squad would be on Weds at Stamford Bridge. He said his tactic was to let Mason Mount run around a lot and not bother marking him. The entire squad is hoping that Rudiger plays.

Transfer Activity
Fabio mentioned that last week had been very successful for the club. Not only had we sold old boys Toby and Coco, but we’d signed our new messiah, Bryan Gil. Additionally, goalkeeper Gollini also coming in on loan.

Daniel mentioned that homegrown Bryan is going to be an absolute star and he’s already in talks with Amazon to make a film about his life at Spurs. Ryan had to once again explain the English FA rules to everyone who had naturally assumed that having a name like Bryan qualified him as homegrown.

Daniel also mentioned that as Coco had left, he might be able to move 20% of the medical budget back over to the transfer and player’s salaries budget in the future. Just need to see first whether Gio and Sess can show some resilience.

Finally, Daniel mentioned that goalkeeper Orlando Bloom would be back from Austin this coming week. He had personally poached him from Fulham in 2015. Daniel advised Nuno and Fabio to have a good look at him as he is better than Alfie. Ryan mentioned that it was actually Brandon Austin who had been playing in Orlando that was coming back. He had previously been at Chelsea as a youngster.

Nuno expressed concerns that we needed to bring in a couple of defenders if we are to avoid relegation. Fabio mentioned that Ledley would be running a specific training session at the fans open day on Saturday. Apparently, there were some centre halves bringing their boots from some great Sunday pub sides including Dirty Dicks and Ye Olde Fighting Cock. Ledley would put them through their paces and advise whether he thinks they are better than what we currently have in the squad. Both Ledley and Fabio are confident.

Fabio also mentioned that he has now all but signed Tomiyasu and is trying to get him to leave early as he's suspended and they'll lose to Spain anyway. Daniel interjected and confirmed that their number 1 priority is Romero and he promises to have it completed by 10pm, 31st August. Fabio challenged Daniel to a fiver bet that it would be done within the next 10 days before the league opener.

With regards to the outgoing players, Fabio said that all of the players without a future at the club have been informed. The one exception is Sissoko, where Fabio is waiting for the right moment to tell the very emotional big guy that he needs to go. They did deactivate the access card for his old room at The Lodge but apparently Jose had given him one of the master keys for all rooms. It was part of a previous security arrangement where Mousa used to protect Jose from guys like Dele who was going to beat the shit out of him in the middle of the night.

Nuno asked Fabio whether Harry Kane would be with the rest of the lads in training next week. Fabio mentioned that Harry had told him he was flying into Manchester Airport from the Bahamas as it was cheaper. He also mentioned that due to COVID protocols Harry would be quarantining in the penthouse suite of the Hyatt Regency in Manchester for a couple of weeks. Harry did mention that him and his brother were available for Zoom calls though.

Summarising, Fabio assured the team that all transfer activity is completely under control. He asked for patience but emphasised that the club are going to have a transformational August. He expects 1, maybe 2 deals to close this coming week. Ryan and Ledley said they do not recommend to Fabio buying 7 new players. From experience, they recommend buying either 6 or 8, but not 7.

Any Other Business

Access to the Lodge
Daniel mentioned that he still couldn’t get into The Lodge. His old pin code doesn’t work and he has repeatedly asked for a new one. Additionally, the security guard at the front gates keeps telling him that everyone has to have a printout of a valid PCR test to come into The Lodge with no exceptions. Awkward silence in the room before Fabio mentioned that this was a Football Operations meeting and that he should probably bring it up in his other management meetings at Lilywhite House.

Meeting concluded 11am
Click to expand...
Brilliant.
 
Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

Date: Friday, 6th August 2021 10am

Attendees:
Daniel Levy, Fabio Patricio, Nuno Espirito-Santo, Ryan Mason, Steve Hitchen, Ledley King

Minutes of the meeting:
Daniel asked if everyone could just give him one more minute. He had accidentally deleted Serge Aurier from his spreadsheet and needed to reinstate his tab. Ryan showed Daniel how to use the Undo button and the chairman admitted he could have done with finding it years ago. It was have apparently saved him a lot of hassle over the last 20 years.

Meeting formally commenced 10:05am

First Team Matches
Nuno said that whilst he was happy with the 2nd half comeback against Chelsea, the game demonstrated how much work we need to do before the first team really competes at the highest level. Daniel asked everyone to compare the Stamford Bridge shit hole to our glorious new stadium and then asked everyone who were the real winners in life. Awkward silence.

Fabio mentioned that Sissoko had come to see him after the game asking why Nuno hasn’t been selecting him in pre-season. He strongly believes that Nuno will need a world class playmaker like him if they are to beat Man City but understands why they wouldn’t risk him getting injured in meaningless friendlies. Everyone agreed that they should fly Mousa to Manchester with a layover in a COVID red alert country, so he gets quarantined for a couple of weeks. Serge should join him on the flight, so he doesn’t get suspicious.

Nuno asked Fabio when it would be possible for him to start selecting Tanguy in his match day squads. This was apparently not possible as Tanguy had got addicted to the SMA Anti Reflux milk that his wife was feeding the littlun. Apparently, it tastes like the porridge his mum used to make him back in France.

Transfer Activity
Fabio mentioned that it had been a busy week for all involved on the recruitment team.

Firstly, big Joe Hart. Apparently, he had been complaining about it being too hot down south so Fabio managed to get him a new gig at Celtic. Aussie manager Ange Postecoglou said that Hart's debut was "okay" and insisted that "Joe will improve".

Fabio had also found loans for Etete and Bowden whilst Okedina and Cirkin had left the club permanently. Apparently, he has now set up a specially made wheel of fortune in his office and will keep spinning it every couple of days to see which of the kids stay versus go. Alfie Devine landed on “new contract”.

Everyone unanimously agreed that the best news of the week is Christian Romero joining the club after an extensive search for a quality centre half. Nuno asked Fabio why Christian never got into the 1st team at Juventus and why he bought him for 26m Euros and then sold him for 15m Euros after shipping him out on loan. Fabio said that it was complicated but Bonucci and Chielini advised that their godfathers in Sicily thought it was better that they played ahead of him. Turns out that Romero has joined with a slight knee injury and won’t play for a few weeks anyway. This injury was after he met Bonucci’s cousins at a little café in Turin.

The mood of the meeting changed as the next big topic was Harry Kane. Apparently, he had promised the family that they could go to Disney World in Florida for their summer holiday. Obviously they get to see Mickey Mouse every week when they meet their Uncle Charlie and that is how they had become such big Disney fans. Daniel said that he was still confident of getting £200m for Harry including Bernardo Silva who is worth at least £100m. Another options could be Laporte who is worth £120m.

Fabio said that he is exploring an option to replace a douche bag with a Dusan. This would be part of his master plan to bring another 3 more players in before transfer deadline day. He is also looking at a young homegrown player called Tommy. At this point, Ryan put his head in his hands.

An anxious Nuno asked Fabio how he was getting on with bringing in his old Wolves captain to the club. Fabio got a little heated and asked Nuno to calm down. He said it was complicated because he cannot understand Coady’s Scouse accent, and this was making negotiations very difficult.

Any Other Business

Michael Dawson
The club was pleased to announce that Michael would be a club ambassador and work alongside Ledley. Apparently, it is Ledley’s job to do the thinking for the pair of them and then tell Michael where to go. Some concerns that Michael might have a few rash moments and just charge off without thinking.

Talksport
Nuno and Ryan were told by Daniel to tell the entire senior squad and academy that listening to Talksport at the club is banned. The only exception is The Alan Brazil show, but even then the players should be warned that ex Spurs player Danny Murphy just talks absolute drivel. Nobody listens to Hawksby and Jacobs anyway as the intelligent humour goes over the player’s heads.

Meeting concluded 11am
 
Weekly THFC Football Operation Meeting Minutes

Date: Friday, 13th August 2021 10am

Attendees:
Daniel Levy, Fabio Patricio, Nuno Espirito-Santo, Ryan Mason, Steve Hitchen, Ledley King

Minutes of the meeting:
Before the meeting formally started, Daniel shared an “interesting” story. Apparently, a chartered accountant friend of his had encouraged him to use a new application call Microsoft PowerPoint. Apparently, you could look good in front of other chairman if you build “slides” in advance of the meetings and hold your negotiations using them. Daniel shared with the group that he still believes that sharing a spreadsheet is the best way of holding a meeting. When you want to close a deal, it is apparently the only way.

Meeting formally commenced 10:05am

First Team Matches
Nuno was congratulated by the entire group after defeating the Gooners 1-0 in their last pre-season friendly, as part of the Mind Series. He shared with the team that he’d been watching a bunch of Simon Sinek videos on YouTube about Millenials and Gen Z and that had inspired him with his tactics. Apparently, Nuno got Ledley to spread a rumour in Edmonton a few days earlier that Zaka was going to be on the bench. Our former captain had told his thousands of disciples that all they needed to do was applaud the kid onto the pitch and he would fall to pieces in front of goal. Worked a treat. Sonny took care of the rest.

The conversation then switched to the league opener against City and the mood soon changed. The big debate, triggered by Fabio, became whether Harry should be involved or not. Nuno mentioned that Harry had arrived in the UK wearing elastic topped jeans and an XXL footie shirt he’d bought from David Beckham in Florida. As an aside, Harry also had tassels on his shoes and kept calling all his mates by the term “dude”.

Harry had also been complaining about slow play on the golf course after training. Apparently, some really old guy who went by the name Greavsie was holding him up for 10 holes and wouldn't play him through. When he finally got through, Greavsie started abusing him and calling him Judas.

Nuno confirmed that Harry wouldn’t be involved, as the last time he broke a sweat was back in 2020. He apparently needs to lose some excess baggage before he can play again. Charlie has been notified.

Transfer Activity
Nuno asked Fabio what had happened in a very disappointing week, with absolutely no transfer activity. Fabio explained that it wasn’t his fault for 2 very logical reasons.

The first reason was that he hadn’t realised that, due to Brexit his mobile phone was subject to newly reinstated international roaming charges. Eventually the phone got disconnected, and Fabio wasn’t able to call his mates in Italy and get any updates. Fabrizio Romano carried on making stuff up, regardless of Fabio not contacting anybody.

The second reason was that Fabio had spent the entire week emailing every pub in England, Scotland and Wales enquiring whether their Sunday pub team were looking for right backs and roaming midfielders.

Aurier was apparently willing to go Wales, but failed to cross……the Severn. He couldn’t find his man who was supposed to help him with his paperwork, and was seen walking back into The Lodge afterwards.

Sissoko was also willing to head to Wales and reignite his faltering career, but somehow ended up on the wrong coastline. Apparently, he was trying to bear left and head down the M4, but ended up in Aberdeen. He’ll be in John O’Groats by Monday.

Fabio instructed the group that this coming week would be the key week in the transfer window, but we’d probably not officially sign them until the week after. Fabio and Steve would be able to fly into Portugal on Wednesday and hire a camper van. They will then do a couple of unofficial one-on-ones in Portugal before driving up through Spain and France with a quick stop-off in Milan. He said he would pick up some new players on his way back and bring them to The Lodge by Sunday.

Any Other Business

The WSL Team
Rehanne Skinner had asked Daniel why the WSL team wasn’t represented at the weekly meeting. Daniel asked her to come back to him on the topic after they put in a credible performance in a North London Derby.

Chairman’s Message
Daniel told the team that he had written his message to the supporters and was ready to publish it over the weekend. With his commitment to not talking about football anymore, he decided instead to remind everyone about the riots 10 years ago, mention the loved ones that they had lost and talk about Inclusion and Diversity at the club. According to the communications team, if he always uses this approach then nobody will get past the first paragraph anyway and he'll start to rebuild his reputation with the fans.

Meeting concluded 11am
 
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