Ward 54

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Guest

Guest
#1
Not to be confused with Studio 54, the popular discotheque from the 70/80s.

Ward 54 is the cardiovascular ward at the Western Hospital, Edinburgh. Current residents in room 24/E are:

Brian - dour Glaswegian with puss somewhere that needs to be drained. Brian likes the TV remote and doesn't like when people talk over Midsummer Murders. He wears his scrubs like a homeboy, so his crack is constantly on show. Brian farts in his sleep, and when he thinks nobody is listening.

Aubrey Coult - not as you'd think a cool as fuck character from the A Team or Fall Guy but a little unassuming fella from Berwick. He's in for dizziness and feeling poorly. At 84 just taking up a bed for people worthwhile saving. Good lad though and had much in common with links to County Durham, although Brian wasn't happy with the chit chat. Of course Aubrey didn't have his hearing aid so I may as have been talking to my Beagle.

Mike Ashley - no wonder we didnt sign anyone, the fat bastard is in here, shuffling and snuffling 24/7, when he breathes its like two pot bellied pigs fucking. When he snores it sounds like The Blitz and by the time he shuffles back from the bog, it sounds like hes on his way out. Complained bitterly about the rissotto and wouldn't eat it, demanding more food, despite his 12 pack of Walkers and numerous boxes of Maltesers. Mike farts all the time and doesn't give a fuck who hears.

BowburnMag - young exiled Geordie cut down in his prime, suffered heart failure due to a twat of a virus, and is currently enjoying some fluid on his lungs, jabbed umpteen times and wired up to numerous monitors, so he can't sleep, thus is chatting shit on some weird forum, where bedlam ensued following another expected but unsatisfactory transfer window for NUFC. He was grateful for well wishes, some fella called Mick Martin particularly making him smile when he was a bit gutted on the whole.

Nurses are of a particularly high standard - Ciara, delightful young posh thing who looks like a much daintier and prettier version of Jane Middlemass. A staff nurse who is a class act and quite foxy. And an elusive young thing, with great promise but yet to make a full appearance. Special mention to Mike, great lad despite being the administor of artery blood samples, which if anyone didn't know can be pretty gruesome. Good looks, Irish, doctor - kids got it wrapped up with the ladies.
 

CrazyDave1927

Vital Squad Member
#2
Hang in there mate, you're in good hands.

I'm currently on the night shift of a London hospital's Biochemistry Dept, testing the blood of gentlemen such as yourself.

Remember this important rule: nurses are for looking, not for touching ;)
 
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#3
Cheers Dave, have to agree although I'm not a big fan of hospitals, like most people, its reassuring. My doctor is back to see me in the morning and has such an air of assurance I aleady trust him with my life. They've all been great.
 

CrazyDave1927

Vital Squad Member
#4
Without wanting to sounding like an advert for the NHS, it really is one of the world's great institutions, staffed by highly trained people who actually care about the patients. Hope all goes well.

 
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Guest

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#5
FFS Mike now sounds like a rhino with bronchitis.

Brian sounds realty to put some shit on telly.

Old Aubrey oblivious to it all, the lucky hard of hearing bastard.
 
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#8
The breakfast orders were wrong. Heads are going to roll if Mike can get his fat arse out of bed.

Mind you, we got bacon rolls which is allegedly a rare treat. Not as much fun with an oxygen up your snout like but I'm making the most of it.

Poor Aubrey is fasting so sick as fuck.

Mike just asked for another roll.
 
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Guest

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#9
All the best mate , get yourself better and try not to upset yourself with the farce that is NUFC
 
#10
FFS Bowburn..
We took it in jest that you were on your last legs the other day but it puts all this transfer malarkey in perspective yet again.. Football is but just a game anyway, supposedly.

You have to get better anyway as we wouldn't want to rename the quiz after you as a mark of respect..

On a more serious note, we were in hospital with the bairn for most of yesterday as she's been having problems recently but we couldn't stay overnight as the boredom would have killed us..

We've managed to get her in as a day patient now, just to weed out this weird virusy allergic reaction
 

Mcnamee67

Vital Football Hero
#12
Good to see your critical eye to detail has not been been dimmed by this bug BBM. Take comfort from the advice you got when you posted your thread a couple of days ago. For all the slagging off that goes on here, there's plenty of good advice from lads who are genuine with their concern for you. Get well soon.
 

taffontyne

Vital Football Hero
#13
Hang on a minute bbm - my missus and daughter are nurses on that ward! Keep your beedy eyes off them!

On a more serious note, you're in the right place. Sounds like that infection was left too long. Are you a normally fit and healthy fella?
 

ManxMag

Vital 1st Team Regular
#16
BBM. Did you even know you ever had a virus? I had same thing about 9 years ago and I nearly needed a heart transplant. Doctors ignored all the signs for about 6 months then on 27 december I go airlifted from IOM to Manchester, Whythenshaw. I was in for a month and was youngest in ward by about 35 years. Viral myocarditis they called it. Said a virus caused it but I think that was more of a guess as I couldn;t remember havinbg a virus. I was 32 at the time, but the good news is they fixed me, I didn't need the transplant, and now I am as good as normal. Don'lt worry they'll fix you. Get well soon.
 

Platinii

Vital Champions League
#17
Good to read the reports fella, keep 'em coming... At least it's viral, so it's treatable and you'll eventually make a full recovery back to your normal annoying self!

How long are you in for mate?
 
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#19
ManxMag - 1/9/2011 09:33

BBM. Did you even know you ever had a virus? I had same thing about 9 years ago and I nearly needed a heart transplant. Doctors ignored all the signs for about 6 months then on 27 december I go airlifted from IOM to Manchester, Whythenshaw. I was in for a month and was youngest in ward by about 35 years. Viral myocarditis they called it. Said a virus caused it but I think that was more of a guess as I couldn;t remember havinbg a virus. I was 32 at the time, but the good news is they fixed me, I didn't need the transplant, and now I am as good as normal. Don'lt worry they'll fix you. Get well soon.
It's sounding like the same thing. I knew I wasn't right when I had a raking cough/chest infection but amoxicylin didn't seem to shift it. Few weeks later went out for a 5 mile run and couldn't do 5 yards without pain and breathlessness. Got steadily worse since Bank.Holiday.

New job a write-off, Great North Run a no-go, diagnosed with heart problems on our anniversary. All in all, a shitty Wednesday.

Taff - generally train 3 times a week, was training for the GNR, fit as a fiddle really. Which is why it was such a shock.
 

steekiebrown

Vital Champions League
#20
All this fuss over a virus?! Should have had a hot bath then climbed into bed with an extra blanket and a mug of Lemsip. Just sweated the fucker out FFS!