They're gonna make me a criminal | Page 6 | Vital Football

They're gonna make me a criminal

Never mind you’ll be able to protest about it as long as you dont shout . Johnson’s supporters will be delighted, the unholy alliance of hedge funders, Russian donors and Wetherspoons drunks.
 
Buddha said:
A few years ago Mrs Buddha and I pulled into a rural car park with the intention of staying the night. It was just before dusk and we had only the one van with us. We'd had a long drive and after little walk to stretch our legs we got back into the cab and were just sitting there chatting as it began to get dark

Pretty soon it became quite obvious that the car park was a local dogging site. Actually, to be more specific, it appeared that it was a cottaging site as vehicles started arriving with single men driving. We watched a couple of them get out and then walk off into the woods before reappearing a short while later. Other cars pulled into the car park, some stopping, others immediately turning round and leaving. Then a strange bloke approached the cab. He didn't say anything but was just hovering about trying to look in at us through the windows. Mrs Buddha opened up the window and told him, "listen mate, we're not bothered with what you're up to but we're not interested ourselves". He made a funny sound, spun on his heels and made a hasty retreat.

At this point we decided that it was probably best to not stay sat in the cab as we might be giving the wrong Impression. We opted instead to climb into the back, get into bed and start watching some telly.

About half hour later I noticed a very bright light coming from outside. "Sssshh, turn the sound down, I think I can hear something happening out there", I said. With the sound of the telly muted I could definitely hear talking and what I thought sounded like a police radio. "It's the police!" I said.

A few moments later there was a knock on our door. It was definitely the police! Neither of us could be bothered to get up so I called out, "hello, it's open". The door opened and there stood two coppers. They seemed surprised to see a hetrosexual couple just lying there watching tv. "Oh, hello, sorry to disturb you", one of them said. We saved his blushes by saying, "Are you here because of the doggers?"

"Yes", he replied, "we come down here whenever we get the chance at night to try and stop it happening but don't worry, we've seen them off now, I don't expect they'll be back again tonight".

"Oh that's ok", Mrs Buddha said, "we didn't realise it was a dogging place, we just needed somewhere to stay for the night. We're not having sex, we're just watching a film".

"That's fine", said the copper, "you'll be fine here for the night and you can have sex if you want!"

It was quite astonishing, actually be given permission by the police to have sex in the back of a van in a known dogging location! Was it because we wasn't gay??!!

Despite be given the go ahead by the Old Bill, I still didn't get any that night. Mrs Buddha vetoed that, she was too tired, apparently, and didn't like the idea of having sex simply because the police had said we could! Like me, she's a bit of a rebel.
Click to expand...

That is a very funny post post Buddha. Made I larf 😁

I reckon you must have a heap of “travelling tales” to tell. Would love to hear more.
 
Buddha said:
Glad you liked it.

I've got a few tales, mate. But I try to keep them to a minimum, it upsets some people when I post loads of non Gills stuff. ;)
Click to expand...

NEVER! 😁

l love non-Gills posts. Just not the political sh!te. Funny stuff is good.

And TBF, you’ve upped your Gills output remarkably lately. Even attending a game and talking about it. Something I envy and cannot claim. Enjoyed your report of that game too.
 
Buddha said:
A few years ago Mrs Buddha and I pulled into a rural car park with the intention of staying the night. It was just before dusk and we had only the one van with us. We'd had a long drive and after little walk to stretch our legs we got back into the cab and were just sitting there chatting as it began to get dark

Pretty soon it became quite obvious that the car park was a local dogging site. Actually, to be more specific, it appeared that it was a cottaging site as vehicles started arriving with single men driving. We watched a couple of them get out and then walk off into the woods before reappearing a short while later. Other cars pulled into the car park, some stopping, others immediately turning round and leaving. Then a strange bloke approached the cab. He didn't say anything but was just hovering about trying to look in at us through the windows. Mrs Buddha opened up the window and told him, "listen mate, we're not bothered with what you're up to but we're not interested ourselves". He made a funny sound, spun on his heels and made a hasty retreat.

At this point we decided that it was probably best to not stay sat in the cab as we might be giving the wrong Impression. We opted instead to climb into the back, get into bed and start watching some telly.

About half hour later I noticed a very bright light coming from outside. "Sssshh, turn the sound down, I think I can hear something happening out there", I said. With the sound of the telly muted I could definitely hear talking and what I thought sounded like a police radio. "It's the police!" I said.

A few moments later there was a knock on our door. It was definitely the police! Neither of us could be bothered to get up so I called out, "hello, it's open". The door opened and there stood two coppers. They seemed surprised to see a hetrosexual couple just lying there watching tv. "Oh, hello, sorry to disturb you", one of them said. We saved his blushes by saying, "Are you here because of the doggers?"

"Yes", he replied, "we come down here whenever we get the chance at night to try and stop it happening but don't worry, we've seen them off now, I don't expect they'll be back again tonight".

"Oh that's ok", Mrs Buddha said, "we didn't realise it was a dogging place, we just needed somewhere to stay for the night. We're not having sex, we're just watching a film".

"That's fine", said the copper, "you'll be fine here for the night and you can have sex if you want!"

It was quite astonishing, actually be given permission by the police to have sex in the back of a van in a known dogging location! Was it because we wasn't gay??!!

Despite be given the go ahead by the Old Bill, I still didn't get any that night. Mrs Buddha vetoed that, she was too tired, apparently, and didn't like the idea of having sex simply because the police had said we could! Like me, she's a bit of a rebel.
Click to expand...

When he said ''you can have sex if you want.'' He might have meant with him or the other pc.:wave:
 
OneSirKeefy said:
NEVER! 😁

l love non-Gills posts. Just not the political sh!te. Funny stuff is good.

And TBF, you’ve upped your Gills output remarkably lately. Even attending a game and talking about it. Something I envy and cannot claim. Enjoyed your report of that game too.
Click to expand...

I like to think I goaded Buddha into his upping of the GFC output and attending the match!
 
SteveTreacle said:
I like to think I goaded Buddha into his upping of the GFC output and attending the match!
Click to expand...

It certainly helped, Steve. (y)

But there were other factors at play too. As I said in my post at the time, the stars aligned to make it possible. Just a shame we couldn't get a winner that night.
 
OneSirKeefy said:
NEVER! 😁

l love non-Gills posts. Just not the political sh!te. Funny stuff is good.

And TBF, you’ve upped your Gills output remarkably lately. Even attending a game and talking about it. Something I envy and cannot claim. Enjoyed your report of that game too.
Click to expand...

same here, you’ve got some really interesting stories Bud
 
Buddha said:
Kushti Bok to him.

He is clearly one of the 'good' travellers and not one of the 'bad' travellers. He fits nicely into the romantic notion of a nomadic craftsman but even so a local councillor still considers him to be, "a blot on the landscape".

What hope will us other travellers - who don't produce pretty wood carvings to sell on the roadside - have of being offered a place to park up and continue living our lives in the way we choose? Not much, i suspect.
Click to expand...
https://www.thepost.uk.com/news/bud...mission-to-continue-trading-from-layby-597274
 
You must log in or register to reply here.