The official "Teach Clive English" thread

  • Thread starter Villan Of The North
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Villan Of The North

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Being a Black Country lad that only ventures outside the four boroughs to visit the hallowed turf of B6, Clive's grasp of the English language is somewhat limited. Indeed, he often struggles to express himself in a manner understandable to his fellow Villans. So let's all chip in and create a Vital Villa online phrase book for Clive to help him better understand our language.

Without further a do:-

We am = we are



Copy and add to the list.

:17:
 
As an English teacher, I'd be much more confident teaching a Chinese Malaysian kid who can't pronounce 'bread' properly than Clive.
 
Maybe this will help us understand Clive.
 

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:1: :19: Ya cowbags (means like buggers me nan always said it) you lot know me by now, teach me great but its the remembering it that cocks it up for me :139:

Hey that Malaysian kid would have an unfair advantage no matter what age, he or she wouldn't have been bought up round the accent, makes me chuckle when i am behind an indian or other person in a queue in the shop or something, they ask and the shopkeeper gets what they ask for, i will say ''con are have a fiver electric please mate cheers'' and the look sometimes i get is memorable, then it's ''pardon'' this sometimes has to be repeated a couple of times maybe more on the odd occasion

And that Black Country list is spot on en all :19: hear them words almost daily, ''Z is for stripey oss'' :19:
 
A woman once said to me,"Yow goddacowud ?"
It took 5 minutes of her repeating herself for me to finally get it.

Can you guess what she was saying Clive ?
 
Me electric token meter key, i put a fiver on well i try to lol, when i go to the shop down the road om alright, but if i go to another shop when i ask for things they don't half get confused bless em lol
 
I ay bin confuses some, makes me chuckle some of me old mates was from Tividale etc and thats just 5/10 mins away and they would be like ''wtf you on about'' lol
 
A translation for Bodybutter :

Clive has a meter for his electricity.He has to purchase a 5 or 10 pound electricity meter card.He then places said card in his electricity meter and all the lights in Clive`s head are illuminated.
They`re all on,but there`s still no fucker in :17:
 
Clubpaver - 7/6/2014 15:46

A translation for Bodybutter :

Clive has a meter for his electricity.He has to purchase a 5 or 10 pound electricity meter card.He then places said card in his electricity meter and all the lights in Clive`s head are illuminated.
They`re all on,but there`s still no fucker in :17:
Click to expand...

:19: Totally disagree utter nonsense, there is somebody in every now and then bit like a holiday home :5: :17:
 
Ok i am going to be trying to rmeember to type

We are instead of We am from now on, it will be tough as it seems natural to put it that way,,,,,so hopefully ''we are'' going to see this from now on ay VOTN dude ;)
 
Perhaps I should open an English language centre in The Black Country to teach all those yampy feckers English.
 
if you think thats bad you should try coming up to my part of the world you should try this site to understand 'ull speak http://www.greengates.karoo.net/hull/speak.html
 
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