Johnny Baguette
Alert Team
United We Issue`s Nobby Allcock is back! Every Blue's favourite outspoken Stretford and the 'Carrington Stalker' as he's been previously known amongst united's fearful squad is having it large again...VMC caught up with Nobby outside the United Megastore and it's clear that the quintessential rag is eagerly anticipating this weekend`s derby humdinger.
So Nobby, we meet again. Here comes the first Manchester derby of the season and City head out of town to Old Trafford level on points with united at the top of the league after three games. How do you rate your start to the new campaign and how is the mood at the Glazer family`s football club? Judging by the noise coming from your current and ex players there appears to be cause for excitement.
"It is STILL OUR club and always will be. The magic is always there and there is a RED MOON RISING with the ultimate legend Jose Mourinho we all wanted now in the driver`s seat. We can all feel it. We are like one big family at Man U, just ask Ryan Giggs who may have sadly gone but is still more successful than your entire club has ever been. Listen up, you don't get to make an aerobics video at 40 odd without having something about you and Giggsy has got it all. I'd take him at 50 over YaYa Silva and his pals any day of the week…Even the people I sit next to in the Stretford End that change each week sort of bond with me and use my Salford born and bred knowledge to find the bus and train stations when it's home time or plane taxi time. That special sense of belonging was everywhere at the time of the Bournemouth fire drill. We all came together. There are some things that you just can`t buy, Cit-eh. As for the football I have seen enough already both here and from my spot at Carrington to know that there is nobody out there who can touch us in this league. You can sense it with the lads at BT Sport and Sky who know their stuff when clueless ex Blues aren`t on. The Red flag is flying high and it's obvious to ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL that your MERCENARIES backed by your GLORY HUNTERS are there for the taking this weekend."
Let`s talk transfers. "#Hypocrisy" springs to mind when we look back across three years of massive spending at Old Trafford which has ultimately realised an FA Cup and should promise more under the notoriously divisive short term leadership of "The Latest One." Was it really only 6 years ago that City were being slated for ruining football by pontificating Stretfords and Sir Alex Ferguson declared he would not insult them by spending big money?
"Football`s a big boy`s game son. What`s past is past and the future is the future. I just think that we were saving up as part of a masterplan is all. Now we are ready to take back what is ours. Ours in this case being the biggest club and the biggest spenders. No matter which way you dress it up, what the City arabs did was wrong. It was obscene and ruined the dominance of the sides neutral fans loved to watch. You lot can whine on about us spending big money in the past but at least we did it over a long period of time and YOU CAN`T BUY HISTORY. One thing for sure is we haven't got the type of mercenaries that you lot have. All you lot slagging us off for breaking the record for bringing our Paul back home as if we are newcomers at being in charge of the transfer market should remember when we bought our Global Ambassador Bryan Robson and the eloquent Rio Ferdinand. Both legends, both record breakers who dominated their art. Worth every penny. We`re Man U. We`ll buy who we want. End of."
Who should united and in turn City be paying close attention to in the derby this weekend?
"We're not afraid of anyone on your side and you should be afraid of everyone on our side as usual. The ghosts of King Eric, Paddy Roche, Juan Veron and Brian McClair will surround your mercenaries and they will freeze this time. Big time. ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL knows that Pep Gladioli is going down big time this weekend. I think it`s going to be embarrassing. Welcome to Zlatan, bitters." . I can tell you that the great Pete Boyle will be in his bedroom writing some fantastic put downs for you lot at the start of our new era. I know for a fact that when Boyley's Mum says his tea's ready he'll be pretending he hasn't heard. We mean business.
Understanding reds. There's always been an undeniably special, if not extraordinary arrogance about united supporters. Can you define it in a nutcase-shell?
"Arrogance? Try GREATNESS. Try WINNING MENTALITY. Dream of GLORY. Tell that to your arab paymasters. When they get bored and leave it will be NORMAL SERVICE RESUMED."
Manchester City. Looking back at your previous predictions. Never going to get out of the third division. Tick. Never going to get out of the second division. Tick. Never going to win anything. Tick. His Highness Sheikh Mansour will leave inside 5 years. Tick. Never going to make the top four. Tick. Never going to qualify for Europe. Tick. Never going to be Premier League champions. Tick. Not in my lifetime etc. Time for some humble pie?
"Not everyone in football can be constantly on top of his game and I think I took my eye off the ball a bit with City because you were never a threat. You are a bit more of a threat now and we are finally ready to make sure we put you back in your place this season. This is just the start. Get the new banner ready lads.
Manchester United. Again, looking back at your previous predictions. Never going to pay mercenary wages or buy mercenary players. Tick. Wayne Rugney would never put in a transfer request. Tick. United to dominate football beyond the departure of Lord Taggart. Tick. Time for a second helping of humble pie?
"If I was to eat a pie it wouldn`t be one like Jamie Oliver`s at the Council House that`s for sure. The way I see it is this. Great sides come and go in cycles. King Wayne is the centre piece on the mantel piece for club and country, make no mistake about it. Just ask Sam Allardyce who recognises the qualities that are a slow burner for the national side. Rooney is a god and would never leave us for more money. The proof is there. He was cleverly trying to get the club to buy the legend that is Robin is all. 'I told you before that Wayne would never leave United and should never be called a mercenary. Unlike a Torres or a Tevez. The whole thing was a spiders web brilliantly spun by Fergie to get the owners to start buying big like the old days, I reckon. Respect to Fergie for REFUSING to pay for all the rubbish out there when he did, not like what you signed as it would be an insult to us, the loyalist fans in the world. Word up. I was sat with a bloke from China at the Southampton game who knows Terry Christian and told me that top Chinese businessmen are about to buy us and clear all our debts. Probably next summer. Be afraid, Berties!"
You are no stranger to controversy according to the locals and care assistants we've spoken to around your Bolton stomping ground. Be it at the bus stop, the bookies, the launderette, the bingo hall or writing for United We Issue and Pubic of Mankunia your views are very often outspoken. What are your thoughts on the world of footballing social media these days?
"Not arsed. You get to roll with the punches as a professional Red which is what I'd like to be seen as. Hooky, Shaun Ryder, Fez, Mani and my close mate Eamonn Holmes. We've all been through the mixer putting our anti-City views out there. It's give and take in Manchester football circles."
united greats, the shameless 1999 medal boaster turned party organiser David May, the 12 appearance legend Gerard Pique, Peter Schmeichel and the usual drivel from Fatty Brazil have all talked up this weekend's derby as being the most important for decades. Thoughts?
"I'm mad for it. This will be a derby of REVENGE for us where certain traitors get put to the sword. You know who I am talking about Paul Scholes talking out of line and Brian Kidd. We will also take great pleasure in putting you lot back in your place yet again in what is quickly becoming again your usual cup final."
Very many thanks and commiserations going out to Nobby and the United We Issue team at the Bolton Salford and Trafford Mental Health NHS Trust. There will be more from Nobby in the run up to our showdown with the Stretford Galacticos…
Read more: http://www.manchestercity.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=570946#ixzz4Jblq7xR2
So Nobby, we meet again. Here comes the first Manchester derby of the season and City head out of town to Old Trafford level on points with united at the top of the league after three games. How do you rate your start to the new campaign and how is the mood at the Glazer family`s football club? Judging by the noise coming from your current and ex players there appears to be cause for excitement.
"It is STILL OUR club and always will be. The magic is always there and there is a RED MOON RISING with the ultimate legend Jose Mourinho we all wanted now in the driver`s seat. We can all feel it. We are like one big family at Man U, just ask Ryan Giggs who may have sadly gone but is still more successful than your entire club has ever been. Listen up, you don't get to make an aerobics video at 40 odd without having something about you and Giggsy has got it all. I'd take him at 50 over YaYa Silva and his pals any day of the week…Even the people I sit next to in the Stretford End that change each week sort of bond with me and use my Salford born and bred knowledge to find the bus and train stations when it's home time or plane taxi time. That special sense of belonging was everywhere at the time of the Bournemouth fire drill. We all came together. There are some things that you just can`t buy, Cit-eh. As for the football I have seen enough already both here and from my spot at Carrington to know that there is nobody out there who can touch us in this league. You can sense it with the lads at BT Sport and Sky who know their stuff when clueless ex Blues aren`t on. The Red flag is flying high and it's obvious to ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL that your MERCENARIES backed by your GLORY HUNTERS are there for the taking this weekend."
Let`s talk transfers. "#Hypocrisy" springs to mind when we look back across three years of massive spending at Old Trafford which has ultimately realised an FA Cup and should promise more under the notoriously divisive short term leadership of "The Latest One." Was it really only 6 years ago that City were being slated for ruining football by pontificating Stretfords and Sir Alex Ferguson declared he would not insult them by spending big money?
"Football`s a big boy`s game son. What`s past is past and the future is the future. I just think that we were saving up as part of a masterplan is all. Now we are ready to take back what is ours. Ours in this case being the biggest club and the biggest spenders. No matter which way you dress it up, what the City arabs did was wrong. It was obscene and ruined the dominance of the sides neutral fans loved to watch. You lot can whine on about us spending big money in the past but at least we did it over a long period of time and YOU CAN`T BUY HISTORY. One thing for sure is we haven't got the type of mercenaries that you lot have. All you lot slagging us off for breaking the record for bringing our Paul back home as if we are newcomers at being in charge of the transfer market should remember when we bought our Global Ambassador Bryan Robson and the eloquent Rio Ferdinand. Both legends, both record breakers who dominated their art. Worth every penny. We`re Man U. We`ll buy who we want. End of."
Who should united and in turn City be paying close attention to in the derby this weekend?
"We're not afraid of anyone on your side and you should be afraid of everyone on our side as usual. The ghosts of King Eric, Paddy Roche, Juan Veron and Brian McClair will surround your mercenaries and they will freeze this time. Big time. ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL knows that Pep Gladioli is going down big time this weekend. I think it`s going to be embarrassing. Welcome to Zlatan, bitters." . I can tell you that the great Pete Boyle will be in his bedroom writing some fantastic put downs for you lot at the start of our new era. I know for a fact that when Boyley's Mum says his tea's ready he'll be pretending he hasn't heard. We mean business.
Understanding reds. There's always been an undeniably special, if not extraordinary arrogance about united supporters. Can you define it in a nutcase-shell?
"Arrogance? Try GREATNESS. Try WINNING MENTALITY. Dream of GLORY. Tell that to your arab paymasters. When they get bored and leave it will be NORMAL SERVICE RESUMED."
Manchester City. Looking back at your previous predictions. Never going to get out of the third division. Tick. Never going to get out of the second division. Tick. Never going to win anything. Tick. His Highness Sheikh Mansour will leave inside 5 years. Tick. Never going to make the top four. Tick. Never going to qualify for Europe. Tick. Never going to be Premier League champions. Tick. Not in my lifetime etc. Time for some humble pie?
"Not everyone in football can be constantly on top of his game and I think I took my eye off the ball a bit with City because you were never a threat. You are a bit more of a threat now and we are finally ready to make sure we put you back in your place this season. This is just the start. Get the new banner ready lads.
Manchester United. Again, looking back at your previous predictions. Never going to pay mercenary wages or buy mercenary players. Tick. Wayne Rugney would never put in a transfer request. Tick. United to dominate football beyond the departure of Lord Taggart. Tick. Time for a second helping of humble pie?
"If I was to eat a pie it wouldn`t be one like Jamie Oliver`s at the Council House that`s for sure. The way I see it is this. Great sides come and go in cycles. King Wayne is the centre piece on the mantel piece for club and country, make no mistake about it. Just ask Sam Allardyce who recognises the qualities that are a slow burner for the national side. Rooney is a god and would never leave us for more money. The proof is there. He was cleverly trying to get the club to buy the legend that is Robin is all. 'I told you before that Wayne would never leave United and should never be called a mercenary. Unlike a Torres or a Tevez. The whole thing was a spiders web brilliantly spun by Fergie to get the owners to start buying big like the old days, I reckon. Respect to Fergie for REFUSING to pay for all the rubbish out there when he did, not like what you signed as it would be an insult to us, the loyalist fans in the world. Word up. I was sat with a bloke from China at the Southampton game who knows Terry Christian and told me that top Chinese businessmen are about to buy us and clear all our debts. Probably next summer. Be afraid, Berties!"
You are no stranger to controversy according to the locals and care assistants we've spoken to around your Bolton stomping ground. Be it at the bus stop, the bookies, the launderette, the bingo hall or writing for United We Issue and Pubic of Mankunia your views are very often outspoken. What are your thoughts on the world of footballing social media these days?
"Not arsed. You get to roll with the punches as a professional Red which is what I'd like to be seen as. Hooky, Shaun Ryder, Fez, Mani and my close mate Eamonn Holmes. We've all been through the mixer putting our anti-City views out there. It's give and take in Manchester football circles."
united greats, the shameless 1999 medal boaster turned party organiser David May, the 12 appearance legend Gerard Pique, Peter Schmeichel and the usual drivel from Fatty Brazil have all talked up this weekend's derby as being the most important for decades. Thoughts?
"I'm mad for it. This will be a derby of REVENGE for us where certain traitors get put to the sword. You know who I am talking about Paul Scholes talking out of line and Brian Kidd. We will also take great pleasure in putting you lot back in your place yet again in what is quickly becoming again your usual cup final."
Very many thanks and commiserations going out to Nobby and the United We Issue team at the Bolton Salford and Trafford Mental Health NHS Trust. There will be more from Nobby in the run up to our showdown with the Stretford Galacticos…
Read more: http://www.manchestercity.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=570946#ixzz4Jblq7xR2
