Shouldn’t laugh | Page 30 | Vital Football

Shouldn’t laugh



  • Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders


    EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

    'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

    'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'

    'How much do you charge?'

    'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.

    'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

    Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

    'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

    'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

    'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!!!'
 
Paddy and Mick are walking along a street in London.

Paddy looks in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign reads,
"Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50/pair."

Paddy says to Mick, "Look at those prices, we could buy a whole lot of those and re-sell them in Ireland for huge profits. Let’s go in there, but keep quiet, OK? I'll do all the talking because if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on my best English accent."

"Roight y'are Paddy, you do all da business" says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says in a posh English voice, "I say ole’ chap, I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each,100 shirts at £2.00 each,and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each... I'll back my truck up and load them on myself."

The owner of the shop says,"You're Irish, aren't you?"

"Well yes" says a surprised Paddy,"What gave it away?"

The shop owner replies, "We’re a bloody dry cleaners."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.