Poetry prose and anything else

kefkat

Vital Football Legend
Club gave me an idea: Never seen a poetry/prose topic in here, so come on you old/er young/er romantics or just plain daft, let's be having you :14:

We will start with Clubpaver's poetry in The really interesting thread (not to be confused with the weather thread) which he has half way given me permission to use: Royalties Club will come from Villa's goals :17:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Give us some head
Then I`ll shag you ?

Thanks for that Green Tea.

Or maybe

There once was a fella called God
Who was fake, the silly old sod
Some people believed
But they were deceived
And everyone knew they were odd.
 
BBJ I can't have you feeling left out so :14: I shall put up some of mine later, as I am now on my way out

However, here's a short excerpt from my as yet unfinished novel.

When Philomena arrived home later in the evening, she was irritated to learn that John had arrived up at the house again. She had assumed that he would get the hint by being stood up twice. Her temper was not improved by having to listen to her father's rebuke.
"You weren't brought up to be either discourteous or unreliable. So listen to me, my fine girl, I've invited that young man round tomorrow night. So you make sure you're here."
"Daddy, I'm going out with Sandra Hughes."
"Not tomorrow night, you're not. You'll be here or I'll know the reason why."
"Ah, Daddy, you're not fair."
"It's not very fair to leave a lad standing with both his arms the same length at the Broadway. You be here."
And that was the end of that particular discussion. Philomena turned on her heel and left the room, leaving no doubt with both her bearing and exaggeratedly heavy sighing that she wasn't very pleased. Ignoring her mother's demand that she apologise to her father for being so childish when he wasn't very well she tramped up the stairs and flung herself down on the inside of the double bed that she shared with her nine year-old sister, Mary, who was an extremely pretty child with long black hair and expressive, inquisitive eyes.
Mary was officially in bed for the night as it was past her usual time of eight o'clock and she was now sitting, propped up on the pillows, reading an Enid Blyton book. She now put her reading material to one side and nudged up beside Philomena.
"I heard my Da telling you off," she whispered excitedly. "What did you do now?"
"Nothing, you mind your own business, you wee bisom."
"I'll tell Mammy what you called me. Was it about that fellow that was here earlier? He was in singing to Daddy."
"Singing? What do you mean, singing?"
"When your man came up, saying you hadn't turned up at the pictures, Daddy called him into the wee room. He was in there ages and I heard him singing. Some oul mushy Irish song. Daddy and him were as thick as thieves."
"Oh, shite, that's all I need. Some fella I can't get rid off and my Da and him doing duets."
"You said a bad word, I'll tell Mammy."
"Tell away, I don't care. Shite, shite, shite, shite, shite. There!"
Mary tittered and went back to her book.

 
There once was a lady named Kat
BCV told her Villa were shat
She soon put him right
But he put up a fight
And now he lies prone on the mat.
 
There was an old fellow called Mullett
Who asked a young lassie to pull it
She gave it a jingle
It started to tingle
And became as hard as a bullet
 
There once was a fella called Clive
Who says he saw Villa score five
We haven`t scored since
Now he thinks we are mince
And refuses to go watch us live.


Our Clive went and bought some fish
He ate one and thinks they`re delish
So he asked me to tea
To get the better of me
But I never let him get his wish.


Now Clive is a very large man
He eats Maccy D`s all he can
Then Juan gets upset
Cos Clive`s like his pet
And Fear goes and gives him a ban


Now Clive,he speaks like a Twat
In Tipton,tham all spake like that
But we love him to bits
Cos he has us in fits
Even tho he thinks I`m a Prat.




 
Planet Vital Villa to the the tune kind of, of 'rapping' (with apologies to anyone I have forgotten. I will add you in later)
*****************************
Four years ago, I landed here,
First I got to know Vitals owner J Fear
I soon learnt about his naughty step
And what happens if we disobey
We’ll be forced to watch the last 4 seasons Villa replays

Then there’s Mike who likes his politics
Rants about Question Time cos it makes him tick.
Clubpaver turns everything into a joke
Though is known to be passionate over words
With Villa, he’s a funny bloke

Some people have disappeared, most of us have stayed
I learnt very quickly Deano likes cardigans and runs
Our lottery, so he gets paid
Then there Jimbo, whose disappeared,
Skeggy master too, who hasn't disappeared

BBJ our gentleman who’s really nice
And married to, I hope her name is Ann (well it rhymes)
Juan our leader of the pack
On living healthily he won’t take no cr*p

Now Clive we have to give a paragraph too
He will always stop you feeling blue
Has many a jizz and panics too
He likes yam, yams and is our guy
Who is top poster of the year gone by!

There’s Thomas Holte, CDX, Dennis of Mortimer
Who runs faster than the best! There’s Heath, GT
Who row and ‘’debate’ along with the rest
Our Pride of Lions who along with me,
Annoys others over our word game, we like to see,

I must put in a mention for our moderator team
Who make Vital Villa run like a dream!
They keep us in line,
Yet like a joke
All in all, top blokes

Newcomer of last year
Freeman dude, has swept on the scene
Posting and topics too
Now I am going to be in trouble (nothing new)
Cos I've sure missed some names so the air will turn blue

I mustn't forget our 100%, though a lot of us hide out
In Witton lane, which was Heaven sent.
A word must got for BCV who’s our resident pessimist
Though at the moment we all agree
Supporting Villa is like drinking a cup of manky tea
:14:
 
I actually sang that Kefkat.
And danced to it.
I`d forgotten what a mover I am :17: :17:

:1: Very Good
 
That is brilliant piece of Vital history there KK top stuff!!

 
I have an image of you rapping in my head now Club. I am not sure how accurate it is as I don't know what you look like, however I can see you rapping in your Villa top just before you go our for a run with Sir Dennis of Mortimer :15: Yo man :14: