O/T The Good morning thread. | Page 54 | Vital Football

O/T The Good morning thread.

Its a bit like the old golfing joke that I am sure you golfers have all heard...

....a bloke goes to South Africa and while there decides to have a game of golf to keep his hand in. So he books a tee off time at a local course. He turns up with his clubs and awaits the caddie to accompany him and explain/show him the course., A caddie appears but he is perplexed to see him carrying a rifle, but does not ask why.

He tees off at the first and slices his ball into the heavy rough on the left. As he rumages around a lion leaps todards him. He screams but at that moment there is a hot and the lion falls dead. The caddie smiles and the man is so thankful. Now he knows why the caddy had the rifle!

He can't find the ball so he takes a drop on the edge of the fairway and takes out a three iron. He hits it firmly enough but to skips off to the right and lands on the edge of a pond water hazard about 20 yards from the green, but still playable.

As ho goes to hit his wedge .an aligator comes scuttling out of the water. He screams but again the caddie shoots the Alligator before it could strike and he sighs in relief and thank the caddie profusely.

In the next tee he scuffs his drive and it lands by the edge of a clump of trees about 250 yards on..

He finds the ball easily and decides that a six iron is the right club and it is still playable in the light rough. As he goes to take his shot a Rhino comes charging out of the woods ...he turns to the caddy and screams shoot the bastard shoot the bastard.

The caddy, looking down at the score card shouts...............

Sorry sir you don't get a shot at this hole!
 

Nick Real Deal

Vital Football Legend
Thanks for the support NRD.....so here’s a challenge for you....standing on the tee on a par 4 338 yard hole, there is a 10 yard wide pond starting at 150 yards from the tee after which the fairway rises 200 ft to the green...there are trees to the right of the fairway and very dense rough to the left but the fairway is very wide at the base of the hill....guess my best and worst scores on this hole and it will tell you all You need to know about my game.
Personally based on my game and the shite equipment I had, I would lay up short of the water. If I was feeling confident I may have a go with a 4 iron and try and get over it. That's me though. Best and worst guess for you...a 4 and a 13.
I used to love the game but packed in at around 42 just before a career move limited my time for leisure. I wasnt that good but could pretty much break the ton each time out and 90 was within my sights easily with better clubs and tuition.
I remember going out with 3 others who were way better than me and agreeing a 10 shot start on the first tee. A par 3 150 yard easy hole. I hit a 6 iron as last of the 4 of us 3 feet from the flag and planted the putt with aplomb. They all accused me of being a ringer and immediately whiped out the 10 shots...bastards !!
 
80 , just had a thought , what’s the situation with your double vaginas . Are they still yours . Was wondering how you would be advertising them ? Is there much interest in them ?

Hope your Mum is Ok now . Back home and feeling better .

Was that a stone mason you had banging away , or something -someone completely different ?

just as a matter of interest , what annuals do you grow in Canada . Is it the same as over here , tagettes , lobelia , pinks , dianthus , that sort of plant , or do you have hardier specimens .?

Good morning! Stunning day! :thumbup::tophat:

Word of mouth on the vaginas. < Leave it alone boys.:rofl:

Mother is at home recuperating nicely. She canceled the in-home help after the first day but kept the physio. She is determined to stay in her place.

Funnily enough the expedition to the nursery resulted in my wife only buying diplodenia's this year. She wants it simple. And with our new garden, she is not sure how the perenials will develop. More details on those later but we do have SIberian Irises somewhere back there.

And yes to the stonemason. Two supporting pillars need serious pointing. The old watering system was very hard on them.
 

Nick Real Deal

Vital Football Legend
Good morning! Stunning day! :thumbup::tophat:

Word of mouth on the vaginas. < Leave it alone boys.:rofl:

Mother is at home recuperating nicely. She canceled the in-home help after the first day but kept the physio. She is determined to stay in her place.

Funnily enough the expedition to the nursery resulted in my wife only buying diplodenia's this year. She wants it simple. And with our new garden, she is not sure how the perenials will develop. More details on those later but we do have SIberian Irises somewhere back there.

And yes to the stonemason. Two supporting pillars need serious pointing. The old watering system was very hard on them.
Rock Trumpets.
 

Harry-Kari

Vital Squad Member
Personally based on my game and the shite equipment I had, I would lay up short of the water. If I was feeling confident I may have a go with a 4 iron and try and get over it. That's me though. Best and worst guess for you...a 4 and a 13.
I used to love the game but packed in at around 42 just before a career move limited my time for leisure. I wasnt that good but could pretty much break the ton each time out and 90 was within my sights easily with better clubs and tuition.
I remember going out with 3 others who were way better than me and agreeing a 10 shot start on the first tee. A par 3 150 yard easy hole. I hit a 6 iron as last of the 4 of us 3 feet from the flag and planted the putt with aplomb. They all accused me of being a ringer and immediately whiped out the 10 shots...bastards !!
Spot on with the scores, although I realise I gave away the 13 in an earlier post.

Did well to break that 100 regularly...I occasionally have a good round in the low 90s but not very often these days...it’s the number of 3 putts that destroys my cards most of the time, but once in the bar it doesn’t matter...3 seasons ago I had a purple patch and won 5 competitions and proudly created a trophy shelf...these days I just have a shelf...bit like Spurs really.

58E7038B-EB97-4322-9119-34D808BBE91C.jpeg
 

Nick Real Deal

Vital Football Legend
Spot on with the scores, although I realise I gave away the 13 in an earlier post.

Did well to break that 100 regularly...I occasionally have a good round in the low 90s but not very often these days...it’s the number of 3 putts that destroys my cards most of the time, but once in the bar it doesn’t matter...3 seasons ago I had a purple patch and won 5 competitions and proudly created a trophy shelf...these days I just have a shelf...bit like Spurs really.

View attachment 39524
The 100 is such a barrier. To break it means you can play just above a 24 handicap . To go above it consistently for me asks questions about what the pleasure is. Obviously a bad day could mean 100 plus and all golfers have bad days. Mid 90s is acceptable.
 

Harry-Kari

Vital Squad Member
The 100 is such a barrier. To break it means you can play just above a 24 handicap . To go above it consistently for me asks questions about what the pleasure is. Obviously a bad day could mean 100 plus and all golfers have bad days. Mid 90s is acceptable.
I guess it all depends on how seriously people take it....I don’t anymore...it’s the social aspects that give the pleasure for me.
 

Walthamstow wanderer

Vital 1st Team Regular
Good morning all . Hope you are all ok . Still very breezy down here . Think it’s worse up norf though .
Watching The Who at Woodstock the other night brought back a lot of memories. I will have to search YouTube . What a brilliant time that was . I did go to the Isle of Wight version in 1970 , was it , or 71 . I was still living in
London then , and it seemed like everyone and their mate was trying to get there . We went on the Saturday and don’t remember when we came home , probably Tuesday . You could hear the music as soon as you got off the ferry at Yarmouth . Everywhere was chaos in the villages .The locals were good fun though , i think !

I remember going into a hardware shop and opening a can of beans with a can opener from the shelf , putting it back on the shelf and walking out .What else was a wannabe hippy supposed to do ?

The other thing I remember was going to the toilet . Not a pleasant experience !!!!! Never to be forgotten .

.Jimi Hendrix playing ‘god save the queen‘ . Wow
.
We didn’t have a tent . Just a ground sheet , some sort of blanket , and a girlfriend! There seemed to be a lot of girlfriends around !!!!!!!! Happy days !!!!
stay safe everyone . Have a good bank holiday weekend !
keep posting
 
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Harry-Kari

Vital Squad Member
Went to a local garden centre yesterday and bought 7 lavender plants...place was quite busy with a control on numbers inside but wasn’t too bad.....

Started to try and dig over some planting places but really needed an excavator given how hard the ground was and the number of weeds to be removed....fortunately my next door neighbour’s wife was out in their garden which is pristine and she was looking for some gardening work...specifically cutting things down and tidying...so she came round and did that while I toiled with spade and fork on the other side of the jungle...she was happy saying that it was therapy for her...I’m always happy to oblige where gardening is concerned...anyway, she did a great job and is now my official garden planner...

Need to finish the planting process today and think about the next step of the plan...

Still very windy up here...patchy sun and clouds....stay safe guys..
 
Good morning all . Hope you are all ok . Still very breezy down here . Think it’s worse up norf though .
Watching The Who at Woodstock the other night brought back a lot of memories. I will have to search YouTube . What a brilliant time that was . I did go to the Isle of Wight version in 1970 , was it , or 71 . I was still living in
London then , and it seemed like everyone and their mate was trying to get there . We went on the Saturday and don’t remember when we came home , probably Tuesday . You could hear the music as soon as you got off the ferry at Yarmouth . Everywhere was chaos in the villages .The locals were good fun though , i think !

I remember going into a hardware shop and opening a can of beans with a can opener from the shelf , putting it back on the shelf and walking out .What else was a wannabe hippy supposed to do ?

The other thing I remember was going to the toilet . Not a pleasant experience !!!!! Never to be forgotten .

.Jimi Hendrix playing ‘god save the queen‘ . Wow
.
We didn’t have a tent . Just a ground sheet , some sort of blanket , and a girlfriend! There seemed to be a lot of girlfriends around !!!!!!!! Happy days !!!!
stay safe everyone . Have a good bank holiday weekend !
keep posting
We all did daft things in those days, but as daft goes that is dafter than most!
The WHO very much at their peak at that time, one of the best bands of the sixties and early seventies, the best fifteen years in music history.
 

Walthamstow wanderer

Vital 1st Team Regular
We all did daft things in those days, but as daft goes that is dafter than most!
The WHO very much at their peak at that time, one of the best bands of the sixties and early seventies, the best fifteen years in music history.
Ha ha , didn’t seem daft at the time though Smithy ! Would I change anything I have ever done , nope ! I’ve done a lot dafter ! :wahey:
 
Wow Walthy never had the IOW experience..envious mate.....a little bit younger than you (as you knw) and from the poorer part of the East End than you (just)....and a mere pup at just 15 years old in 1969.....but.....

Did go to the Stones in the Park Concert (Hyde Park, in 1969 cos it was free.
Support bands included King Crimson and Family...can you believe that! What a great day...heckled a few lunies at Speakers Corner and applauded some of the intelligent ones I seem to recall.

Later when I had some dosh me and my mates used to go across London to The Greyhound Fulham Palace Road ...great pub cos they featured up and coming bands ...no entry fee...wow.
Went to Loadsa pubs in East London as well who had bands...saw the Small Faces in The Rabbits, Manor Park.
.
The Marquee of course loadsa bands , The Apollo Osibisa, , Camden Palace (Wishbone Ash superb) The Round House (Johnny Kid and the pirates were great), The A train in Mile End for my dose of Reggae and Ska.

Loads more...great atmos, great beer, great bands...like you would not have missed it for the world...raw music ...not sanitised stuff we get these days.

Reminisce day coming up now! Play a few records and a supp few beers cos the weather here is dry but mighty breezy.
 
Good morning all, sunny, windy with maybe a bit of rain in the air.

Every one is thinking of the past, for me during the season, not football, music, it was 1st Glastonbury 3 days, Reading Rock 3 or 4 days, 3rd Knebworth 1 day and then finally 4th Monsters of Rock Castle Donnington 3 days, over a long run of years I saw so many massive/great bands, loads of who are still going today.

Anyway yesterday afternoon the wife and I decided to sit in the garden listening to a nos of Iron Maiden albums/cds, one of their tracks and one of my most fave is called "Run to the Hills" this said track caused an uproar amongst some in the USA....take note of the first 4 lines....

White man came across the sea
He brought us pain and misery
He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
He took our game for his own need

The rest of the lyrics very similar, Iron Maiden were called devil worshippers and were very nearly band from travelling there, home truths maybe, must admit every time the track makes me think.

Have a great Bank Holiday weekend all, and keep safe.
 
Everybody reminiscing about music of the past brings back some great memories .
I will forever have a lasting memory of going to Walthamstow Granada with a few mates in early '63, to see Roy Orbison. We were horrified when the show started to see that the 'Big O' was given second billing to some guys called 'The Beatles'. Six months later we understood.
Also a stand out memory from those days were the New Musical Express annual concerts held at the indoor arena, Empire Pool I think that they called it in those days, at Wembley.
Given the success of Spurs in those days Wembley was almost a second home. But to see Beatles, Rolling Stones, Hollies, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Moody Blues, Dusty Springfield all on the same bill, was almost as good as watching Spurs win Cup Finals there. Used to have to walk home fifteen miles because the last bus had gone by the time the concert ended, but it was worth it.
 

Walthamstow wanderer

Vital 1st Team Regular
Wow Walthy never had the IOW experience..envious mate.....a little bit younger than you (as you knw) and from the poorer part of the East End than you (just)....and a mere pup at just 15 years old in 1969.....but.....

Did go to the Stones in the Park Concert (Hyde Park, in 1969 cos it was free.
Support bands included King Crimson and Family...can you believe that! What a great day...heckled a few lunies at Speakers Corner and applauded some of the intelligent ones I seem to recall.

Later when I had some dosh me and my mates used to go across London to The Greyhound Fulham Palace Road ...great pub cos they featured up and coming bands ...no entry fee...wow.
Went to Loadsa pubs in East London as well who had bands...saw the Small Faces in The Rabbits, Manor Park.
.
The Marquee of course loadsa bands , The Apollo Osibisa, , Camden Palace (Wishbone Ash superb) The Round House (Johnny Kid and the pirates were great), The A train in Mile End for my dose of Reggae and Ska.

Loads more...great atmos, great beer, great bands...like you would not have missed it for the world...raw music ...not sanitised stuff we get these days.

Reminisce day coming up now! Play a few records and a supp few beers cos the weather here is dry but mighty breezy.
I was at the Stones Concert . Brilliant day . We stopped a pub on the way and ordered thirty five Light and Bitters for the seven of us , had to get them down quick as we were getting late for the concert ! . Seven of us in a Bedford Van that used to belong to a meat trader from spitafields market . ! Nice . No seats in the back ! Luckily we had a bucket !
love Wishbone Ash , blowing free , king will come .
went to the Rabbits a lot . Did you ever go to the Bridge House Tavern at Canning Town . Saw the Faces and Rod Stewart in there . There used to be great jam sessions in there . People like Long John Baldry , Jeff Beck . They used to just turn up and play . It was in there I first heard Faith Healer by the Sensational Alex Harvey band .
marvellous times