Good Morning Thread | Page 105 | Vital Football

Good Morning Thread

I have grown a beard during lockdown and I like it. Not sure about the wife , she is being evasive when I ask her if I should keep it.
It is Cantona or Keanesque with grey or white chin and dark sides.
I have looked into oil but there are so many ans quite expensive for top stuff. I wash and trim every day, more labour intensive than I imagined rather than the stubble look which is low maintenance.
I play with my beard too much and am conscious of it so have to keep resisting.
 
Spursex said:
I prmised not to mention golf again, but I will for this last time; Friday saw my eldest take up the clubs again in 7-8 years; I used to teach/play with her, infuriatingly she is a natural and is a very good player.

Her first game back, (she played with her boss), she came back with stories of amazing shots and actually beat him (he's not happy), and she has well and truly re-caught the bug now.

She has booked some lessons with a female pro who plays the ladies circuit, she had the first one yesterday who blew smoke up her backside and told her she was good enough to play professional, she has booked a series of 10 lessons with her, which made me roar with laughter! She was offended but I had to say, I think she just did a number on you...

She is angry with me now and yesterday told me she will be playing at level par by the end of the year - which is exactly the reaction I expected!

She is good enough if she's focused so now we've had a bet on it and I suspect it may well severely cost me.

I'm actually so pleased, she stopped playing when her Mum got seriously ill and this is the first time she's gone back to it.

I think today with a good roasting of Palace, all will be right with the World!
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Roasted Eagle, mmm that's different lol!
 
Morning all, sunny, cloudy, maybe a bit of rain down Souff, I started to grow a beard and ask the missus for an opinion, unlike Nicks, I was told in no uncertain terms get it off, no fence sitting for her, though she did say keep it about eight of an inch long, manly etc lol!

Off in a mo to do all thing garden, wildlife visitors and my aviary, Sunday jobs etc, old time thinking.

All keep keeping safe and well.
 
Nick Real Deal said:
Naahhhh, I want to know what you carded.
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Well it was a gross 74, 3 over par on our course...unfortunately it was a Texas scramble where everyone can drive and then you pick the best one, and everyone plays the next shot from there until the hole is complete...

each 4 ball team received 25% of their combined handicaps to deduct from the gross score of the team which gave us a net score of 62, but the winning score would have been in the low 50s...my contribution was a couple of long putts and a 2 on a par 3 (all my own work)...the rest of my game was as good as Sissoko’s ball control...
 
Harry-Kari said:
Well it was a gross 74, 3 over par on our course...unfortunately it was a Texas scramble where everyone can drive and then you pick the best one, and everyone plays the next shot from there until the hole is complete...

each 4 ball team received 25% of their combined handicaps to deduct from the gross score of the team which gave us a net score of 62, but the winning score would have been in the low 50s...my contribution was a couple of long putts and a 2 on a par 3 (all my own work)...the rest of my game was as good as Sissoko’s ball control...
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What is this gobbledegook you speak of ? No wonder you keep forgetting where your balls are .,
Good morning all , quite relieved to be finishing sixth , good result considering .
Overcast and drab this morning. Probably going to be a lazy day , hope you are all well .
read over the weekend that pro rata , printer ink , as sold by the brand name , is dearer than a fine 30 year old whisky , champagne , Chanel No5 , petrol , and a host of other items , and not just a bit dearer , but way way dearer . Hewlett Packard even put a chip into their printers to stop you using cheaper alternatives .It makes the printer stop working unless it can read the ink cartridge . They have been sued over it and their sales have been hit dramatically. They said it was used to promote consumer experience!
We have never had much luck with printers , they always work well at first but then forget how to pair with our phones etc . Very frustrating. We normally only use them for photos and holiday documents . Our latest one hasn’t been used since last September and no doubt it will have forgotten everything we taught it when it comes to using it again . It will just sit there looking at us , refusing to budge . I will do my nut with it , put it in the loft and go and by a new one . De ja vu rules .
Stay safe out there , it’s not even half time yet. Don’t get booked ,and definitely don’t get sent off
 
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Printers are the bain of most people’s lives Walt....many years ago I made a visit to Olivetti’s main centre in Ivrea Italy assessing their PC- based equipment....we were tested to a week-end of Italian dining in small restaurants culminating in my receiving the gift that Italy always bestows on me in the form of Montezuma’s revenge with knobs on....this was in the days before Imodium and on the Monday we had one more session to complete at their offices in the morning before travelling home....so, trying to keep stiff upper and lower lips, put on my next business suit and set off for a morning of lectures and demos on printers....quite apart from being the most boring topic in the world, as the minutes ticked by various rumblings started to begin, so I politely asked if they had some toilets nearby...I was directed down a corridor and as soon as the sales guy had gone back into the presentation I legged it down the corridor and burst into the toilets and was relieved to see a row of cubicles...that was until I opened the door and saw a concrete base with a hole in the middle and two footprints either side....I thought no way with this suit on...it would have been pebbledashed....mind over matter controlled the situation (God only knows how) and I went back to the presentation, collared the salesman and told him the problem...as luck would have it the big boss of Olivetti/Fiat had his office on the site and his own personal physician who prescribed something for me that worked...I mean really worked...I didn’t need to go again for 4 days...

So you see, printers will always have a special place in my memories...have a nice relaxing day and lay off the pizza guys...stay safe.
 
Harry-Kari said:
Well it was a gross 74, 3 over par on our course...unfortunately it was a Texas scramble where everyone can drive and then you pick the best one, and everyone plays the next shot from there until the hole is complete...

each 4 ball team received 25% of their combined handicaps to deduct from the gross score of the team which gave us a net score of 62, but the winning score would have been in the low 50s...my contribution was a couple of long putts and a 2 on a par 3 (all my own work)...the rest of my game was as good as Sissoko’s ball control...
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"as good as Sissoko’s ball control."

Nah, now I know you made it up, no one, absolutely no one can be that bad!
 
Harry-Kari said:
Printers are the bain of most people’s lives Walt....many years ago I made a visit to Olivetti’s main centre in Ivrea Italy assessing their PC- based equipment....we were tested to a week-end of Italian dining in small restaurants culminating in my receiving the gift that Italy always bestows on me in the form of Montezuma’s revenge with knobs on....this was in the days before Imodium and on the Monday we had one more session to complete at their offices in the morning before travelling home....so, trying to keep stiff upper and lower lips, put on my next business suit and set off for a morning of lectures and demos on printers....quite apart from being the most boring topic in the world, as the minutes ticked by various rumblings started to begin, so I politely asked if they had some toilets nearby...I was directed down a corridor and as soon as the sales guy had gone back into the presentation I legged it down the corridor and burst into the toilets and was relieved to see a row of cubicles...that was until I opened the door and saw a concrete base with a hole in the middle and two footprints either side....I thought no way with this suit on...it would have been pebbledashed....mind over matter controlled the situation (God only knows how) and I went back to the presentation, collared the salesman and told him the problem...as luck would have it the big boss of Olivetti/Fiat had his office on the site and his own personal physician who prescribed something for me that worked...I mean really worked...I didn’t need to go again for 4 days...

So you see, printers will always have a special place in my memories...have a nice relaxing day and lay off the pizza guys...stay safe.
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Brilliant story H .
One day when I’ve got an hour to spare I will tell the story of when I became a postman in 1970 and got trapped in an old lady’s front porch on a Saturday morning after a Friday night on the light and bitters ! Not a pleasant experience for anybody , especially her ......
Ive got this far , so I may as well continue .
it was a time when there was no work , I had just finished my apprenticeship and the country was on three days work a week due to the miners strike etc .,. I just could afford not to be working and earning so I joined the post office as a postman . Brilliant job , loved it .
anyway , Friday nights were always heavy with the lads , hence why I couldn’t afford not to be working , and the light and bitters didn’t go down well with the old Newington Butts . If the landlord of the Lord Palmerston didn’t clear his pipes out properly., he made sure everyone else’s pipes were cleared out later ! ............. So I’m on my round , Saturday morning , and the rumblings begin , and get worse and worse , and I’m in an area where there just isn’t a public toilet. , .. it’s getting desperate and I’ve got a letter that needed to be signed for , opened the porch door , stepped inside , rang the bell on the main front door , the porch door slammed shut behind me , and stuck , at the same time my sphincter gave up the struggle , I couldn’t open the porch door to let the stench out , the old lady opened the main front door and the purple haze hit her straight in the boat race . !
I had no option but to apologise ,,ask to use her toilet , , I had to throw away my boxers and sponge myself down in her loo .
She was really good about it , made me a cup of tea , and we became “good friends“ . I even fixed her porch door from jamming shut later .

hope everyone is well , safe and still onside , playing to the rules and not using the dark arts . It really isn’t a good place to be mucking about out there .
 
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Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant story H .
One day when I’ve got an hour to spare I will tell the story of when I became a postman in 1970 and got trapped in an old lady’s front porch on a Saturday morning after a Friday night on the light and bitters ! Not a pleasant experience for anybody , especially her ......
Ive got this far , so I may as well continue .
it was a time when there was no work , I had just finished my apprenticeship and the country was on three days work a week due to the miners strike etc .,. I just could afford not to be working and earning so I joined the post office as a postman . Brilliant job , loved it .
anyway , Friday nights were always heavy with the lads , hence why I couldn’t afford not to be working , and the light and bitters didn’t go down well with the old Newington Butts . If the landlord of the Lord Palmerston didn’t clear his pipes out properly., he made sure everyone else’s pipes were cleared out later ! ............. So I’m on my round , Saturday morning , and the rumblings begin , and get worse and worse , and I’m in an area where there just isn’t a public toilet. , .. it’s getting desperate and I’ve got a letter that needed to be signed for , opened the porch door , stepped inside , rang the bell on the main front door , the porch door slammed shut behind me , and stuck , at the same time my sphincter gave up the struggle , I couldn’t open the porch door to let the stench out , the old lady opened the main front door and the purple haze hit her straight in the boat race . !
I had no option but to apologise ,,ask to use her toilet , , I had to throw away my boxers and sponge myself down in her loo .
She was really good about it , made me a cup of tea , and we became “good friends“ . I even fixed her porch door from jamming shut later .

hope everyone is well , safe and still onside , playing to the rules and not using the dark arts . It really isn’t a good place to be mucking about out there .
Click to expand...
Hilarious. As they say, you couldn't make it up...
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant story H .
One day when I’ve got an hour to spare I will tell the story of when I became a postman in 1970 and got trapped in an old lady’s front porch on a Saturday morning after a Friday night on the light and bitters ! Not a pleasant experience for anybody , especially her ......
Ive got this far , so I may as well continue .
it was a time when there was no work , I had just finished my apprenticeship and the country was on three days work a week due to the miners strike etc .,. I just could afford not to be working and earning so I joined the post office as a postman . Brilliant job , loved it .
anyway , Friday nights were always heavy with the lads , hence why I couldn’t afford not to be working , and the light and bitters didn’t go down well with the old Newington Butts . If the landlord of the Lord Palmerston didn’t clear his pipes out properly., he made sure everyone else’s pipes were cleared out later ! ............. So I’m on my round , Saturday morning , and the rumblings begin , and get worse and worse , and I’m in an area where there just isn’t a public toilet. , .. it’s getting desperate and I’ve got a letter that needed to be signed for , opened the porch door , stepped inside , rang the bell on the main front door , the porch door slammed shut behind me , and stuck , at the same time my sphincter gave up the struggle , I couldn’t open the porch door to let the stench out , the old lady opened the main front door and the purple haze hit her straight in the boat race . !
I had no option but to apologise ,,ask to use her toilet , , I had to throw away my boxers and sponge myself down in her loo .
She was really good about it , made me a cup of tea , and we became “good friends“ . I even fixed her porch door from jamming shut later .

hope everyone is well , safe and still onside , playing to the rules and not using the dark arts . It really isn’t a good place to be mucking about out there .
Click to expand...
Should have worn the bike clips Walt! Happy days in retrospect but not so good at the time....

Had an electrician round yesterday to fit an extension socket in my loft...he saw my guitars in the lounge and asked if I played...I said yes, badly, and he said so do I...turns out he was a DJ in clubs for several years and had an encyclopaedic knowledge of popular music...had quite an interesting chat and he suggested I should watch Marcus Miller a bass player on YouTube...so I did....excellent musician but playing mainly jazz type music which doesn’t do anything for me, but if you are interested in jazz bass it’s a good watch....he’s famous apparently...

Late start at golf today...packed my calculator to record my score...I think that my golf muscle memory is suffering from Alzheimer’s at the moment...hope I can find a cure...

That’s me sorted for today...more loft adventures planned tomorrow...stay safe guys...
 
Walthamstow wanderer said:
Brilliant story H .
One day when I’ve got an hour to spare I will tell the story of when I became a postman in 1970 and got trapped in an old lady’s front porch on a Saturday morning after a Friday night on the light and bitters ! Not a pleasant experience for anybody , especially her ......
Ive got this far , so I may as well continue .
it was a time when there was no work , I had just finished my apprenticeship and the country was on three days work a week due to the miners strike etc .,. I just could afford not to be working and earning so I joined the post office as a postman . Brilliant job , loved it .
anyway , Friday nights were always heavy with the lads , hence why I couldn’t afford not to be working , and the light and bitters didn’t go down well with the old Newington Butts . If the landlord of the Lord Palmerston didn’t clear his pipes out properly., he made sure everyone else’s pipes were cleared out later ! ............. So I’m on my round , Saturday morning , and the rumblings begin , and get worse and worse , and I’m in an area where there just isn’t a public toilet. , .. it’s getting desperate and I’ve got a letter that needed to be signed for , opened the porch door , stepped inside , rang the bell on the main front door , the porch door slammed shut behind me , and stuck , at the same time my sphincter gave up the struggle , I couldn’t open the porch door to let the stench out , the old lady opened the main front door and the purple haze hit her straight in the boat race . !
I had no option but to apologise ,,ask to use her toilet , , I had to throw away my boxers and sponge myself down in her loo .
She was really good about it , made me a cup of tea , and we became “good friends“ . I even fixed her porch door from jamming shut later .

hope everyone is well , safe and still onside , playing to the rules and not using the dark arts . It really isn’t a good place to be mucking about out there .
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I loved the bit about the Lord Palmerston’s pipes....when I first moved up here there were two main beers, Boddingtons (the real stuff brewed in Manchester before they moved it down South) and Robinson’s....Boddies was always a great smooth bitter and Robinson’s was more fruity in more ways than one....if it wasn’t kept well then the consequences could be dire...

Having two great beers in the area had its problems though with our local cricket club...when we played away if one of the senior players was providing the transport then the chances were that after the game there would be at least 4 stops on the way back in Boddies and Robbies pubs resulting in me arriving home legless with fish and chips and trying to explain to the missus that it wasn’t my fault....of course, that was in the days when traffic was light and it was just becoming obvious that drinking and driving doesn’t mix...wouldn’t do it today.
 
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