The Fear
A Wise Man (once sat next to him)
I'd recommend the Andrew Marr BBC2 programme My Brain And Me. (Although I still say it should be My Brain And I !)
It is fascinating stuff, especially for someone like myself who has suffered brain damage. I often wondered why I slowly (sod me, sooo slowly at times, for 2 years I didn't leave the house without someone with me) started to be able to do things that I couldn't. Back in 94 the medical profession didn't have an answer.
Last year when I did a 10 mile walk in the Malverns with my mate Dean - furthest I'd been since before 94 op - at the end I had a feeling of total elation, I felt high. The guy at the end of the route congratulated us and all that and I mentioned what it meant. Turns out he was a medical doo dah, He said the current thinking and it is new (ish) is that some of the brain 'wires' do start to re-link or find new ways around if you keep pushing.
At the start of all this, it felt hopeless, the speech wasn't that great (wasn't disastrous) and I could blank out very badly. I still do blank or as people who know me well will know, names can just totally go at times. That's part of the reason I pushed to do live radio and then the real big leap of 'feck it, why not' the live Sky Sports News, Midlands Today etc. Seems now I wasn't so daft after all and that slowly but surely doing these things (would have been easier not to) were actually pushing the brain to try to re-route.
Same with the walking. A doctor way back said if your legs are bad (they were bad, little to no direction, they'd give way without notice and the pain at times was rather testing - there, that's called British reserve, fecking agony!) just go in a wheelchair. Two words.. second one was off. I'd go in a chair IF and when there was no choice and then it would have been kicking and screaming. I could have walked the length of a football pitch in those days, last year I got up that there Ben Nevis. This year I'm attempting to speed walk (no good pretending I can run it, there are limits, although downhill I'll risk the legs giving way and jog) a marathon.
I also wondered looking back, why I didn't get back into the gym quicker. Then I read the first half of my book (work in progress) and it quickly reminded me, especially my poems, I could only just get up out of bed, go downstairs and then sit and watch tv at times. I couldn't read much as I couldn't concentrate (I'd not remember what I read) etc. But slowly but surely (we are talking I reckon 7 or so years.. not done the calculation yet) I took baby steps into the gym. No I didn't, I got back 'home' to a gym and I ****ing smashed it. I don't really do baby steps, some of you might have noticed.
Men's Health, kit launch, under armour, etc followed.
The moral of the story. Stop wasting time, get fecking out there and live. And if life smashes you down, damn well get back up and smash it back.
Here endeth the lesson.
Get up. Get out. Live.
It is fascinating stuff, especially for someone like myself who has suffered brain damage. I often wondered why I slowly (sod me, sooo slowly at times, for 2 years I didn't leave the house without someone with me) started to be able to do things that I couldn't. Back in 94 the medical profession didn't have an answer.
Last year when I did a 10 mile walk in the Malverns with my mate Dean - furthest I'd been since before 94 op - at the end I had a feeling of total elation, I felt high. The guy at the end of the route congratulated us and all that and I mentioned what it meant. Turns out he was a medical doo dah, He said the current thinking and it is new (ish) is that some of the brain 'wires' do start to re-link or find new ways around if you keep pushing.
At the start of all this, it felt hopeless, the speech wasn't that great (wasn't disastrous) and I could blank out very badly. I still do blank or as people who know me well will know, names can just totally go at times. That's part of the reason I pushed to do live radio and then the real big leap of 'feck it, why not' the live Sky Sports News, Midlands Today etc. Seems now I wasn't so daft after all and that slowly but surely doing these things (would have been easier not to) were actually pushing the brain to try to re-route.
Same with the walking. A doctor way back said if your legs are bad (they were bad, little to no direction, they'd give way without notice and the pain at times was rather testing - there, that's called British reserve, fecking agony!) just go in a wheelchair. Two words.. second one was off. I'd go in a chair IF and when there was no choice and then it would have been kicking and screaming. I could have walked the length of a football pitch in those days, last year I got up that there Ben Nevis. This year I'm attempting to speed walk (no good pretending I can run it, there are limits, although downhill I'll risk the legs giving way and jog) a marathon.
I also wondered looking back, why I didn't get back into the gym quicker. Then I read the first half of my book (work in progress) and it quickly reminded me, especially my poems, I could only just get up out of bed, go downstairs and then sit and watch tv at times. I couldn't read much as I couldn't concentrate (I'd not remember what I read) etc. But slowly but surely (we are talking I reckon 7 or so years.. not done the calculation yet) I took baby steps into the gym. No I didn't, I got back 'home' to a gym and I ****ing smashed it. I don't really do baby steps, some of you might have noticed.
Men's Health, kit launch, under armour, etc followed.
The moral of the story. Stop wasting time, get fecking out there and live. And if life smashes you down, damn well get back up and smash it back.
Here endeth the lesson.
Get up. Get out. Live.
