ARFUR CONNELL
Vital Reserves Team
I hate gravity, it gets me down!
Monday joke (ng)
- Thread starter Suffolk Gills
- Start date
Nobby_66
Vital Football Hero
My all time Tim Vine favourite.
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
Suffolk Gills
Vital Youth Team
A group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big boobs and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent. Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money. Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled. Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.
RotherhitheGill
Vital 1st Team Regular
Suffolk Gills - a bit too close to the truth for me 
ARFUR CONNELL
Vital Reserves Team
That's not funny Rotherhithe Gill !!!Suffolk Gills - a bit too close to the truth for me
Gilles Lingam
Vital Squad Member
Here are the football results (on Ghanian tv .................................!!
shotshy
Vital Champions League
Made I larf
OneSirKeefy
Vital Football Hero
chris who
Vital Champions League
Fantastic I wish he had places like Scunthorpe and a real killer Inverness caledonian thistle.Sheffield Wednesday might have been a world beater .
Baghdad_Rob
Vital 1st Team Regular
chris who
Vital Champions League
Na he might be able to make a decent attempt at that.So not funny.That place in North Wales with the incredibly long name they must have a team.Now that would really stump him.
Gilles Lingam
Vital Squad Member
(topical)
(okay, it's not a joke, but I thought that it was funny .....)
(okay, it's not a joke, but I thought that it was funny .....)
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Suffolk Gills
Vital Youth Team
Subject. - A love story A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....He in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 am, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.' 'I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.' 'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed. 'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own f**king blanket.' After a moment of silence, he farted. The End
Baghdad_Rob
Vital 1st Team Regular
I used to work in a factory manufacturing keyboards but they let me go after I was found to not be putting enough shifts in.
Suffolk Gills
Vital Youth Team
I went to the doctors with a hearing problem. He said describe the symptoms. I said ‘Homer is a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair !
ARFUR CONNELL
Vital Reserves Team
Tescos are giving away free turkeys..... to people who can run faster than their security guys!
