Monday joke (ng) | Page 24 | Vital Football

Monday joke (ng)

I am trying to make friends outside Facebook, while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day, I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, watering the plants, taking things apart in the garage, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them “thumbs up” and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
 
I am trying to make friends outside Facebook, while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day, I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, watering the plants, taking things apart in the garage, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them “thumbs up” and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
Can I claim the "assist" for this one????😉
 
A man was on holiday in Bangkok when he visited an antiques shop and spotted a little ivory idol in the corner of the shop. As he studied it closely he was surprised when it spoke to him.
''Please help me kind Sir, I'm not really an ivory idol, I'm a beautiful young princess trapped in here by a wicked witch's spell. I need someone to have sex with me to break the spell.''
I'll talk to my brother-in-law about it said the man, ''He's an idle fucking bastard.