Monday joke (ng) | Page 13 | Vital Football

Monday joke (ng)

Two guys from Kettering were having a night out in Northampton. In the early hours of the morning having had one to many and spent all thier money one said how are we going to get home, we have missed the last train and can’t afford a cab. Looking ahead at the bus station one said I know we can nick a bus. Good idea said the other guy leave it to me. After half an hour the guy outside could hear bus engines starting up and switching off so he went to investigate. What’s going on he shouted. Well said the other guy the Kettering bus is right at the back. Don’t worry about that we can take the Wellingborough bus and walk it from there.
 

ThreeSixes

Vital 1st Team Regular
Two guys from Kettering were having a night out in Northampton. In the early hours of the morning having had one to many and spent all thier money one said how are we going to get home, we have missed the last train and can’t afford a cab. Looking ahead at the bus station one said I know we can nick a bus. Good idea said the other guy leave it to me. After half an hour the guy outside could hear bus engines starting up and switching off so he went to investigate. What’s going on he shouted. Well said the other guy the Kettering bus is right at the back. Don’t worry about that we can take the Wellingborough bus and walk it from there.
That joke used to start "2 Irishmen..." 😁
 

chris who

Vital Football Hero
That joke used to start "2 Irishmen..." 😁
Let's face it have spent a bit of time in Northampton and Ireland I know which place is the worst place of the two for a night out.Northampton is definitely the bigger joke.Why anyone would want a night out there is beyond me.If I lived there I think I would go somewhere else.
 

mozzer59

Vital Squad Member
Let's face it have spent a bit of time in Northampton and Ireland I know which place is the worst place of the two for a night out.Northampton is definitely the bigger joke.Why anyone would want a night out there is beyond me.If I lived there I think I would go somewhere else.
Come to Buckingham....Its lovely
 

mozzer59

Vital Squad Member
A guy arrives home from work and says to his wife “I have had such a busy day I dont know whether Im coming or going?”
His wife says “You are going because when you’re coming you look like a stroke victim trying to whistle”
 
1970's joke time .............


I note that Tetley say that the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every day I give her slap on the backside and say: "Two sugars, Fatty..."


40 travellers arrive at the Pearly Gates. St Peter says: "we've only got room for 12, so decide amonst yourseves who is coming in." Five minutes later, St Peter says to God: "They've gone." God says: "What? All 40 of them?" "No," St Peter says, "the gates."


My Chinese neighbour says he has just opend a crows shop. Speaking slowly, I said: "Do you mean a clothes shop?" "No," came the reply, "a crows shop. Come in and have a rook."
 
O.K. So I'll do another Jethro joke ;-
Denzil Pemburty comes up to Jethro on the beach & says "I'm not having much luck with the girls today". Jethro looks at him & says "If I were you, I'd put a couple of large pebbles down your trunks". Denzil says "That's a good idea, I'll do that".
An hour later Denzil comes back & says "I did what you said & put the pebbles down but I'm still not having any luck"
Jethro looks at him & says," If I were you, I'd put them down the front!"