O/T Jokes | Vital Football

O/T Jokes

keano_god

Vital Squad Member
FINALLY, THE ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:


Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It ' s the same as a French kiss, but "down under."


Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.


Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they ' re wild and wet.
But when they go, they take your house and car with them.


Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don ' t have any balls to scratch...

AND:


Q: WHAT IS A MAN ' S ULTIMATE EMBARRASSMENT?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
:beer: :beer: :beer:
 
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A man has £50 note tattooed on this knob! his wife says why have you done that? he replies for 1, i like to see my money grow
2, i like to play with my money 3 i like having money in my hand and last but not least,next time you want to blow fifty quid you can stay at home and do it. :hihi:
 
Should UK Adopt The Euro?


A cross-section survey of 1000 people in the UK, made up of Afghanis,

Pakistanis, Indians, Poles, Iraqis, Somalis, Africans, Albanians,

Bosnians, Turks, Geordies, Brummies, Glaswegians and Liverpudlians were

Asked if they thought Britain should change its currency to the Euro.

99% said no, they were happy with the Giro.
 
WOODYYY!! Are you insinuating the cornish, welsh and the fen people are just to plan drunk to find the post office..
 
2 paedophiles watching a 10 year old girl walk past.One turns to the other and says"I bet she was nice when she was younger."
 
A bloke goes into a bar and orders a pint. As he's sitting there drinking it the barman notices he looks extremely sad and very down, so the barman wanders over and asks the man whats wrong?
The guy looks up and says, it's my job I hate it. What do you do asks the barman. Well, the chap says, I work for a circus and everytime we come to a town we have a big parade with all the animals walking down the high st. It's my job to go behind the animals and pick up all their shit. It's horrible I cant get the smell off my hands, it's so bad I can't eat for days afterwards because of the stink.
Well why not just leave says the barman.

What? Quit showbusiness?
 
> A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
me.
> I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
> started.' Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's
> finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's

> a tiger.' Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
> She lets him in
> and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He
> studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
> her and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to
> be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.' He

> takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax'. Let's have a
> nice cup of tea, and then' He sighed.........
>
> >
> Let's put all the Frosties back in the box.'
 
Police have found a womans body in the Park.
Beer belly, saggy tits, wrinkly arse and no knickers!
Just text me back so I know your OK.

Obviously send it as a text...
 
If you want jokes go to my mates site. Type in sickipedia. Not for the faint hearted though.
 
Scotts really got it in for me lately. What have I done I wonder to upset this young under developed brain?

Whatever it is I wish I knew. I could sell it on the streets as an freak repellent.
 
i like ur offensive nature JTFT but unfortunately it seems u have very little knowledge of football and what you have picked up is far less advanced than opinions formulated by Garth Crookes and John Barnes. Perhaps you're lack of knowledge is whats offended Scott. He is rarely wrong ya know
 
poppycock and balderdash.

I challenge you to a wrestle to decide who knows more about football.

I am NEVER wrong.