Joke | Page 243 | Vital Football

Joke

My nephew has signed apprentice forms for Liverpool.

He's determined to knuckle down, get into the first team and make that black armband his own.
 
Ryanair seating surcharges to make up for lost revenue during the coronavirus pandemic.

Not being seated near old people. £15.

Not being seated near families with kids. £30

Not being seated near religious nuts. £50.

Not being seated near a politician. £75.

Not being seated near your wife. £150.

Other prices on request.
 
The statue of Robert Milligan, son of a plantation owner, was removed on the order of the London Mayor, Sadiq Khan.

Diane Abbott has called for the deportation of the man from Del Monte as well.
 
"This next record was requested by a listener because she says it always reminds her of the time she left school to become a working girl.
Lying in the Arms of Mary."
Genuine bit of disc jockery from Radio 2 on Sunday afternoon. I nearly crashed the car.
 
ironside said:
"This next record was requested by a listener because she says it always reminds her of the time she left school to become a working girl.
Lying in the Arms of Mary."
Genuine bit of disc jockery from Radio 2 on Sunday afternoon. I nearly crashed the car.
Click to expand...
Was that Tony Blackburn or Johnny Walker? Brilliant though :ROFLMAO:
 
Guy walks in a library and shouts 'COD AND CHIPS TWICE PLEASE!'

The assistant says ' Do you mind, this is a library'

'Sorry' says the guy, 'cod and chips twice please'
 
Last edited:
Do you think that The Flat Earth Society is sick of two-meter social distancing?... It must have pushed a few of them over the edge.
 
Half the country is wearing face coverings, the other half isn't - with plenty of discussion going on. Proof we're just a bunch of mask debaters.
 
Apart from being a long-suffering Villa supporter, I also take an interest in the exploits of Irish League team, Glentoran.
Like Villa, the Glens have a rich and proud history. And117122378_2987019291408072_17255549737410002_o.jpg117172478_2987014578075210_3038979483186440361_o (1).jpg117172478_2987014578075210_3038979483186440361_o (1).jpg117226491_2987020571407944_8820727748202745886_o.jpg117371784_2987014381408563_8188253752261543549_o.jpg117315821_2987020231407978_8758347000503534915_o.jpg117341035_2987015388075129_2340885673179615682_o.jpg, like Villa, some of the recent years have been somewhat barren.
I came across these cartoons from "Ireland's Saturday Night", colloquially known as "The Ulster", which was Northern Ireland's leading sports paper - for Villa aficianados, the closest equivalent would have been the "Sports Argus".
Many of them would require very little adaptation to fit in with Villa's travails over the years.
I hope they'll give some of you a little chuckle.
Next time - Mayo's quest since 1951 for the El Dorado of the Sam Maguire Cup.
 
The chances of me getting pissed using the Wetherspoons table service app are pretty slim.

Been sat in my back garden for over two hours now and I'm spitting feathers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.