Joke

[Pride of Lions]

Let's all take a minute today-to clap for the fact that there will no longer be any lgbtxyz or feminist pride marches!

 

[Pride of Lions]

We're gonna have sex with the windows open at around 7:58pm on Thursday evening, Just so we get a round of applause as we finish at 8pm.

 

[Pride of Lions]

When shopping in Harrods, ensure people stay at least two meters away from you by holding a Lidl carrier bag.

 

[Melon Donkey]

Can't believe Timpsons is shut during the COVID-19 crises .

I thought they were key workers.

 

[Melon Donkey]

Just had an argument with my Mrs about whether I could ride a bike made of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I rode pasta.

 

[mike_field]

Don't give up the day job Melon!

 

[danvilla2]

We're gonna have sex with the windows open at around 7:58pm on Thursday evening, Just so we get a round of applause as we finish at 8pm.

Fair play, I would’ve started at 7:59 and 30 seconds

 

[JuanPabloAngel]

Just had an argument with my Mrs about whether I could ride a bike made of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I rode pasta.

 

[Melon Donkey]

Just paid £8 for an Oxo cube.

The stock market has gone crazy.

 

[JuanPabloAngel]

Just paid £8 for an Oxo cube.

The stock market has gone crazy.

Better.

 

[Melon Donkey]

Better.

 

[Pride of Lions]

I couldn't believe it when I got violently told off by a copper today for not properly "social-distancing."

"Sorry, I thought I was just standing next to a letterbox !"

 

[Pride of Lions]

New Deluxe never used 2020 planner - 50p

 

[Pride of Lions]

There was a murder of crows in my garden this morning.


My new air rifle is the business.

 

[Pride of Lions]

Meanwhile in Liverpool..... ♪And you'll nevvvvvver walk alooooone......♪

Err, oh yes you fucking will.

 

[Pride of Lions]

Just wondering . . . how do schizophrenics self-isolate?

 

[Pride of Lions]

Matt Hancock said that “A front door is better than any face mask”.

Well I tried it but finally had to put it down while in Tesco's yesterday as it was just too heavy!

 

[JuanPabloAngel]

In a recent interview, Sir Elton John was asked if he liked spinach in his salad, but he said he was more of a rocket man.

I'll see myself out...

 

[wittonite]

In a recent interview, Sir Elton John was asked if he liked spinach in his salad, but he said he was more of a rocket man.

I'll see myself out...

Think he prefers a nice cucumber.

 

[Melon Donkey]

In a recent interview, Sir Elton John was asked if he liked spinach in his salad, but he said he was more of a rocket man.

I'll see myself out...

And you had the cheek to reprimand me the other week ?.

Outrageous.