Joke Time | Page 9 | Vital Football

Joke Time

  • Thread starter Deleted member 13556
  • Start date
Beat me to it Chris. Grayling is the only person in Parliament who is even more useless than Labour's Richard Burgon.

Outrageous attempt at interference by Johnson (ie Cummings) according to Tory ex postholder Malcolm Rifkind.

Cumming's government is so inept it couldn't stitch up the committee to get Grayling his reward for such wonderful service in spite of their large Commons majority.

If Labour did anything like this the media would be going berserk.

Ps. There is no documentary evidence for my last assertion Tarian, it is an opinion based on many years of experience. In fact my assertion re Grayling's capabilities is also an opinion. No doubt you will claim that there is no evidence of him being useless.
 
A redoubtable former poster on this board was invited to address the annual labour party conference on the basis that he was going to explain where it all went wrong at the last election. The downside feature of his invitation was that he was limited to a maximum of 20 minutes only.

90 minutes after he began he was still lecturing away. The natives were getting very aggresive and somebody went so far as to throw a bottle (empty of course). Unfortunately the bottle struck the head of the Chairman of the party who was sitting next to the speaker. As Senior members of the party rushed to render assistance the stricken Chaiman was heard to say "Hit me again, I can still hear him". NB. No names no pack drill.
 
On Monday he had one bowl of goulash
On Tuesday he had two bowls of goulash
On Wednesday he had three bowls of goulash
On Thursday he had four bowls of goulash........

He was a very Hungarian caterpillar!!
 
“This spliff is amazing” Said Harry!
“I know” Said Ron, “I think the philosopher’s stoned”
 
I asked my missus what she wanted for her birthday.

"A spa would be nice " she replied

So I jabbed her twice in the face and finished with a right hook.

"You'll have to be quicker than that" I said.
 
The man who invented Tupperware has died! They can’t do the funeral yet as they can’t find a lid to fit!
 
I went for a lunchtime pint with my brother over in Appledore.
On the blackboard it said ‘ the manager’s special’
I thought he looked a bit like Harry Rednapp but wouldn’t have gone that far.
 
shotshy said:
I went for a lunchtime pint with my brother over in Appledore.
On the blackboard it said ‘ the manager’s special’
I thought he looked a bit like Harry Rednapp but wouldn’t have gone that far.
Click to expand...
Your brother looks like Harry Redknapp poor sod .
 
I don’t know if this is a scam or not but I’ve just received an automated message telling me that I’ve won either £250 or 2x tickets to see an Elvis tribute act.
It said press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
What do you reckon ?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.