Joke Time | Page 3 | Vital Football

Joke Time

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From Elena

What does a new Russian bride get from her husband which is long and hard on her wedding night? A new last name.

What does the Russian President have for dessert? Rice Putin.
 
A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. He came in days later and again asked for a dirty fork and asked for cottage pie with baked beans. Amazing thought the owner. Two weeks later the blind man returned and the owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favour and rub this fork over your fanny, which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!
 
A dad was dropping his little boy off at the beautiful childminder’s house
“Daddy, I like playing in her garden”
“Son, I was thinking exactly the same thing”
 
They asked me to lay turf on a huge field so a Civil War battle could be reenacted. I thought "Sod that for a game of soldiers."
 
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase " Lost medieval servant boy " It says this page could not be found.
 
I have a step ladder. It's a very nice step ladder. But it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.
 
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