Had any good conversations recently with an object?

[kefkat]

Mr KK has asked me tonight, if I feel alright. Why? you may or may not ask.

Conversation; having come back from the kitchen I find my laptop has switched itself into restart and update mode with no warning.

Me to the laptop; how the hell long is this going to take?

Laptop; continues to sit there with a blue screen and a white circle spinning sat on 1%

Me; Sighs

Me again; More sighs. Is this going to take long? Do I need to read a book or something?

Laptop bang on cue; comes up with a front screen statement saying ''please do not turn your laptop off. These updates will take a while''


Me; Oh O.K I''ll read my book. Reaches for my book and starts reading. Looks up every so often and said laptop is still slowly and happily updating 1% 1% 1%. 5 minutes later 5% 5% 5% and so on.

After about 20 minutes we are on 71% 71% 71%.

Me to laptop; is this going to take much longer, or do I go to bed?

Laptop; carries on slowly with the same blue screen and the same message.

Me to my book; O.K we need to read for a bit. Now make me laugh please. Book does as it is told and makes me laugh, cos well it's mildly amusing

Me half an hour later; ah boo. Something is happening! The screen has completed and is now changing colours of blue.

Laptop; please sign in so I sign in. Ah look there is my front screen. Oh no it isn't it. It then turns black and starts telling me what it is doing.

Laptop to me; just wait a moment we are preparing your laptop

Me to laptop; this a long moment

Laptop; just a few more moments

Me to laptop; how long are your moments, cos in earth time these aren't moments, they are decades, or well like waiting for the kettle to boil.

Laptop to me; see what knew things we have add to your start menu

Me to laptop; I would if you would give me my mouse cursor back

Laptop to me; it wont be long now

Me to laptop; I am getting fed up of you saying that.. Can you change the record please? Ah boo we are back.

AVG to me appears on my screen; then tells me it needs to restart the computer. So I decide to let it and get it all out of the way with.

Me to AVG and laptop; Eh what have you done with my first screen? It's changed? Oh well! Lets just sign in

I sign in and look around desktop and at start menu. There are no changes that I can see

Me to laptop; I can't see any changes. So I have been put through half an hour or so of no laptop for you not to show me what you have done?

...........................................

All I can suppose is it's my laptops way of going for a tea break

.......................................

This I kid you not is all true. The wording maybe slightly different in places however this is how I talk to objects. Mr KK says I am losing it, if I ever had it to lose in the first place. I think he is about my plot. Anyone else seen it? :10:

 

[Stephen Jay Hawkings]

Pretty much every day.

My PC, my laptop, my phone, the Wi-Fi, you name it. Any object that can now and again not work like it's suppose to work will send me into a fit of rage. But it usually involves a lot more profanities than your rather nice conversation with your laptop KK!

In the end I just blame it all on a God I don't even believe in and see the whole episode as a metaphor for my life. Until it starts working properly again, and I completely forget about the temporary madness I descended into just minutes earlier

 

[Clubpaver]

Me too.And my son thinks it's a sign of old age and I've gone nuts aswell.I've had one way conversations with all sorts of things ; toasters,kettles,laptop,phones,washing machines,televisions.....etc,etc. and none of the ignorant bastards reply to me !

 

[Trekker]

I talk to moths and the frog from the pond.

 

[kefkat]

LOL I am so glad I am not on my own. SJH I missed out the profanities. There were some in there. I didn't think JF would appreciate a ******** every sentence.

It's really not right Club is it that the washers and so on won't answer, as you can't have a good argument with them. At least the laptop tells me what it's doing every so often.

My best conversations used to be with my old washer which we bought in 1986 and stayed with us in many a move and through thick and thin for 20 years, until it finally had enough and went to washer heaven. I needless to say was gutted. I think it lasted that long cos I used to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, well her door. LOL.

It was like a bereavement when she died. All those memories! Sob! I couldn't even be in the room to watch the scrap men take her away. I had even managed to get her back (just) when I fled the ex.

Damn! It maybe nuts but you have to express the emotions some ways.