Dele - The Overlap Interview

[Real Deal]

I don't think it's fair to blame Jose for someone else's mental health issues either.

He tried the bad cop routine and it failed. He should have had the emotional intelligence to understand that, but that's as far as his mistakes go. Plenty of managers have done worse.

The chances are Jose has some sort of mental health issue himself. Most narcissistic people do. That or they are a social path. They love power and control.

Dele is in a very fortunate position where he doesn't have to work. He is set for life. Has access to the best doctors and Psychologists. These things make a huge positive Impact on recovery.

Tens of millions of people in this country don't have those options. So some context and realism is definitely needed here.

 

[thelaughingcock]

I don't think it's fair to blame Jose for someone else's mental health issues either.

He tried the bad cop routine and it failed. He should have had the emotional intelligence to understand that, but that's as far as his mistakes go. Plenty of managers have done worse.

The chances are Jose has some sort of mental health issue himself. Most narcissistic people do. That or they are a social path. They love power and control.

Dele is in a very fortunate position where he doesn't have to work. He is set for life. Has access to the best doctors and Psychologists. These things make a huge positive Impact on recovery.

Tens of millions of people in this country don't have those options. So some context and realism is definitely needed here.

I'm not sure money buys you happiness mate, you can't buy strong family ties and a solid upbringing. Therapy doesn't heal you and erase memories, it can only help you come to terms with it. No amount of money can undo those scars.

Where do you draw the line?

 

[User removed at own request]

I don't think it's fair to blame Jose for someone else's mental health issues either.

He tried the bad cop routine and it failed. He should have had the emotional intelligence to understand that, but that's as far as his mistakes go. Plenty of managers have done worse.

The chances are Jose has some sort of mental health issue himself. Most narcissistic people do. That or they are a social path. They love power and control.

Dele is in a very fortunate position where he doesn't have to work. He is set for life. Has access to the best doctors and Psychologists. These things make a huge positive Impact on recovery.

Tens of millions of people in this country don't have those options. So some context and realism is definitely needed here.

Dele himself was clear that he doesn't blame anyone. He was asked about the "lazy" comments from Mourinho and he said that Jose apologised to him about a week later.

What I find uncomfortable is that neither Amazon nor Jose set this record straight whilst the media were hammering Dele for being a particular type of player, when he was the opposite. It's the lack of decency.

Also, I don't think it matters how rich you are or fortunate you are. Money can do a lot of things, but it doesn't always equal an easier recovery. The other side of Dele's situation is the brightest spotlight being on him and his financial wealth making him an even bigger target for exploitation from people who don't have his best interests at heart.

I do appreciate what you are saying, but when it comes to mental health, it is brutal hell, no matter your situation.

 

[thelaughingcock]

Dele himself was clear that he doesn't blame anyone. He was asked about the "lazy" comments from Mourinho and he said that Jose apologised to him about a week later.

What I find uncomfortable is that neither Amazon nor Jose set this record straight whilst the media were hammering Dele for being a particular type of player, when he was the opposite. It's the lack of decency.

Also, I don't think it matters how rich you are or fortunate you are. Money can do a lot of things, but it doesn't always equal an easier recovery. The other side of Dele's situation is the brightest spotlight being on him and his financial wealth making him an even bigger target for exploitation from people who don't have his best interests at heart.

I do appreciate what you are saying, but when it comes to mental health, it is brutal hell, no matter your situation.

100%

 

[Geofspurs]

It does highlight how soul destroying the media and social platforms can be. Once a spin in out there, it's out there forever.

 

[User removed at own request]

Social media is indescribably harmful. It's a massive reason why the world is rushing headlong into a mental health Armageddon.

 

[Niall D]

Personally I'm a bit lost here.
Many of us called it re Dele, that something was wrong with his persona, I remember saying myself he never truly got back, to his firey form and discussing how the 'fire had went out in his eyes. I don't remember anyone calling him lazy, but I do remember a few, saying he needs to get his head round things.
My issue here is
Do we now stop debating player performance after games?
Do we stop analyzing, contemplating, arguing, agreeing.?
I've only done one player ratings thread, does that finish now?
Do we now stop the match day thread, what's the point if you can only say good stuff.
If someone plays, well I call it, if they have a poor game I call it.
For me that's what it's all about, if not we may aswell keep our current squad, as they're all OK, and just have the good morning thread.

 

[Departed]

Resiliency. If nothing else teach your children and grandchildren how to be resilient.

 

[Real Deal]

I'm not sure money buys you happiness mate, you can't buy strong family ties and a solid upbringing. Therapy doesn't heal you and erase memories, it can only help you come to terms with it. No amount of money can undo those scars.

Where do you draw the line?

I think it depends on the individual and how far someone is in their own journey. Some people don't want help. Other's do.

Money if used correctly can be an excellent tool to help overcome many problems.

Having a good therapist can totally transform someone. The average man can't afford it. The NHS are a complete joke when it comes to mental health.

I'm convinced a lot of people's issues are magnified by money problems and not having enough time off to resolve their issues.

I agree with you regarding memories and bad up bringing. But that's when you as individual have to try and take some responsibility and do everything you can to move forward.

We can't change the past, but we can use tools to help move forward.

 

[User removed at own request]

Personally I'm a bit lost here.
Many of us called it re Dele, that something was wrong with his persona, I remember saying myself he never truly got back, to his firey form and discussing how the 'fire had went out in his eyes. I don't remember anyone calling him lazy, but I do remember a few, saying he needs to get his head round things.
My issue here is
Do we now stop debating player performance after games?
Do we stop analyzing, contemplating, arguing, agreeing.?
I've only done one player ratings thread, does that finish now?
Do we now stop the match day thread, what's the point if you can only say good stuff.
If someone plays, well I call it, if they have a poor game I call it.
For me that's what it's all about, if not we may aswell keep our current squad, as they're all OK, and just have the good morning thread.

The "lazy" comment came from Mourinho on the Amazon documentary.

To answer your questions:

Do we now stop debating player performance after games? No. It is all about playing the ball, not the man. It is possible to be critical without being nasty. I don't recall anyone on this forum ever crossing this line though. I think people are referencing places like Twitter.

Do we stop analyzing, contemplating, arguing, agreeing? No. Why would we? As long as we all continue to play the ball, not the man.

I've only done one player ratings thread, does that finish now? No. Rating a performance is nothing to do with the players on a personal level. A noticeable change in poor ratings may trigger discussions about if that player is ok though.

Do we now stop the match day thread, what's the point if you can only say good stuff. This is silly. No one is suggesting this is the way things should be.

If someone plays, well I call it, if they have a poor game I call it. Which is absolutely fine! That is what fuels discussion on here.

 

[Real Deal]

Resiliency. If nothing else teach your children and grandchildren how to be resilient.

And take ownership of what you can control.

 

[Niall D]

Good call Matic.
I got the impression someone here had made the comments.

 

[Love totty]

Depression is a terrible condition for which money is no insulation. It's no surprise that people in the public eye are especially prone to it. Fame is without doubt a double edged sword and the spotlight is now intensive with social media. I wish him well.

 

[Love totty]

There is certainly a line to be drawn between criticising a player personally and critiquing his performance. Hard to remember sometimes that to get picked for a Premier League team, he has to be a hell of a footballer that deserves respect for what had got him there, but we like them are only human.

 

[thelaughingcock]

I think it depends on the individual and how far someone is in their own journey. Some people don't want help. Other's do.

Money if used correctly can be an excellent tool to help overcome many problems.

Having a good therapist can totally transform someone. The average man can't afford it. The NHS are a complete joke when it comes to mental health.

I'm convinced a lot of people's issues are magnified by money problems and not having enough time off to resolve their issues.

I agree with you regarding memories and bad up bringing. But that's when you as individual have to try and take some responsibility and do everything you can to move forward.

We can't change the past, but we can use tools to help move forward.

I couldn't agree more, sadly however somebody in Dele's position probably has pressures on them as a young kid that we could never imagine.

Could you imagine everybody knowing your name by the age of 21? You're in front pages, back pages, everybody has their hand out and nobody wants you to be a kid because you're responsible for keeping lots of people fed.

I won't go into my past traumas, however although I have access to private health and psychological care through my current employer, it still doesn't mean I'm ready to 100% deal with it. I'm 10 years older than Dele without all the pressure.

 

[steveperryman]

He's a brave lad to open up in the way he has. Sometimes life deals you a bad hand. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help.

 

[steveperryman]

For a long time i wanted him to remain at the club until it became impossible to defend his performances any longer. He seemed like a good lad to keep around & with his bubbly character get back to what he loved doing the most, which was playing football. He must've felt like the most lonely guy on the planet. It's taken him a while to come to terms with his past but now that he has he'll be a lot stronger for it in the weeks & months ahead.

 

[Greavswasthegreatest]

A real shame for the lad if thats what got into his head and altered his mindset and that translated into his rapid drop in performance. Good luck Ali

 

[Spursex]

For a long time i wanted him to remain at the club until it became impossible to defend his performances any longer. He seemed like a good lad to keep around & with his bubbly character get back to what he loved doing the most, which was playing football. He must've felt like the most lonely guy on the planet. It's taken him a while to come to terms with his past but now that he has he'll be a lot stronger for it in the weeks & months ahead.

I was the same, I thought he'd turn it around, nside the club for some time there was references to him not being fully focused, and other issues. The club knew he was struggling mentally, it's debatable how much/how little they helped.
I always believed (wrongly) that he could/would bounce back, he didn't. He just slide further down the rabbit hole.

He's gone public now and the whispers and behind your hand opinions that some had at the time, will now end. In some respects, he's finally hit rock bottom, there is no further to fall.

For his sake and for no one else's, I hope he can choose the right path now, and regain what he's lost.

He deserves to after what he's been through.

 

[muttley]

It was a very poignant interview. Those of us that read the many earlier articles knew most of it. The new parts of the Dele story were so shocking though.

I still have negative vibes towards Jose and THFC with regards to their mis-management of Dele. The hope is that Big Ange is everything Jose isn't, especially on the psychology of these kids. Whilst Poch was a father figure for Dele, he was certainly a major contributor to those soft tissue injuries by the overplaying. That didn't help Dele as it deprived him of what he needed most. I hope Big Ange has the right thought process for protecting his squad.

Saying that, nobody in the football community are ultimately responsible for Dele's troublesome disposition. I'm just glad he's finally addressing it. He's a good kid.