Confessions of a Vital Villan | Page 2 | Vital Football

Confessions of a Vital Villan

As a drunken teen, after the pub, me and my mates went down to the nearby river where boats were tied up. For a laugh we let some of the boats off and watched them flow down the river. We didn't know there was people asleep in them.

Local taxi man picked me up a while later and on the way home said the cops were on to him about people letting boats off. He asked me if I knew anything about it. "Nope!"

Luckily nothing bad happened. What scum we were doing that.
 
Erm, a couple of years back I was driving down the road. There was a car on my right indicating to turn right out of the junction. There was a car coming to us but there was plenty of time. So I slowed down and flashed them out.
He took a few seconds but by then the approaching car got quite a bit closer.
Anyway he started to pull out slowly, but either didn't look or see the other car till the last minute.
Just in time he did. He broke bunged it in reverse. And yes you guessed didn't check his mirror again. Reversing straight into a police van. I heard the bug thud and bang. Next thing I saw and heard the blues and 2's come on.
I was off like a shot :car:..
 
I was at the Riverside stadium. ( sorry can't remember the year was about 2004 ish. Maybe a couple of years after I moved up here) .
It was either close to injury time or was injury time. I ran down the front and Peter crouch scored to make it 1_2 to villa. Celebrating the goal as you do I mistakenly stood over the little silver rail and felt someone push me back.
Instinctively I raised my arm and fist to punch the person.
When I looked up it was a copper.
I just bowed my head, quickly turned and sulked off quickly. Looking up into the stand I could see my wife.. :oops: mouth wide open and white as a sheet.
Got back to my seat and sat down to see the poor lad who was jumping about celebrating next to me moments before being lead away away with his arm up his back by the same copper.
That was her first ever football match and never let's me forget what happened.


Even to this day I still feel sorry for the lad and hope that the copper realised he had the wrong person and let him go.
 
I once never said thank you when someone held a door open for me.

I've carried that guilt with me for years.
 
I once held the door open for someone and they didn't say thank you.

My self esteem never recovered and it was that incident that led to a severe drinking problem.
 
Last night I accidentally pissed on the dogs head.

Out for a walk, needed to go (we were out in the fields I wouldn't just piss in the street you know ). Mid flow the dog ran underneath the stream and it hit the top of her head. Serves her right . She was told to stay.
 
At a staff handover once many years ago in 1984, I said in jest Coronation Streets Bert Tysley has just died and because he pleaded guilty to attempting to pick up men in a public toilet therefore as a sign of remembrance Manchester Council are closing all the public toilets on a Wedsnday afternoon.

You can imagine my horror when a female member of staff piped up to say " Peter was my uncle and he was a very misunderstood man":eek!::eek!:

http://coronation-street-past-and-present.wikia.com/wiki/Bert_Tilsley
 
Last edited:
Thomas Holte said:
At a staff handover once many years ago in 1984, I said in jest Coronation Streets Bert Tysley has just died and because he pleaded guilty to attempting to pick up men in a public toilet therefore as a sign of remembrance Manchester Council are closing all the public toilets on a Wedsnday afternoon.

You can imagine my horror when a female member of staff piped up to say " Peter was my uncle and he was a very misunderstood man":eek!::eek!:

http://coronation-street-past-and-present.wikia.com/wiki/Bert_Tilsley
Click to expand...

:eek::rofl:
 
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